Fired Up!!!

Time to get this party started. I'm off in a bit to pick up my race packet for my first race of the season. The Polar Bear Sprint! I'm psyched. I've wanted to race this for a couple years now. I would have done it last year but my shoulder was just let out a few weeks earlier and I think I'd swum about 800 painful yards with it at that point.

I'm so so nervous. It's the first race of the season. It's my first pool race in a triathlon. I think I'll Love that part. It'll feel like a swim meet to me. I never thought I'd have that feeling again. I am dying to find out what wave, what lane and who my lane partner is going to be! It would be fun if it was my brother. He'd kick my butt though and that wouldn't be so fun.

I have never gone sans socks in a race, but I'm thinking about it. I want to be fast in T1 and T2 for that matter. The problem is the cold. It's probably going to be high 30s low 40s that morning. I don't want my already problematic feet to be more of a mess. ( toes swelled periodically throughout the winter and my doc thinks I had a "cold injury." Whatever that is. I had blood work and xrays to rule out other stuff so this is what they've come up with.) Anyway, I don't know what to do on that one. I also have hopes that I can leave my bike shoes clipped onto the bike and just go like that. AGain, I'm not sure I can swing htat. I think I'd make a complete fool of myself and fall or something like that.
I also dont' know what to wear post-swim. I'll wear tri shorts and an underarmour tank for the swim I think. Should I put a jacket on to bike if it's cold? Or, are arm warmers enough? I dont' know how to decide these things.
So, I have a lot of thinking and prepping to do.

I'm mostly just excited to get out there and enjoy the competition again. I get so nervous but once the gun goes off, it's just fun fun fun to race. I hope all this hard work will pay off.

A split second....

that's all it takes. I wish I was talking about a race this time. Races are sometimes won by split seconds. No, this is far more important than any race I'll ever enter.

I'm talking about life. Actually, death.

Sick sick sick sick....that's how I feel.

My friend's son was killed last night. Just like that. Gone. Forever.

Back in the 90s, his wife was diagnosed with Breast cancer. She fought long and hard. During her fight, they had one son. Their pride and joy. It wasn't for her to conceive or carry this baby during her battle.

For years and years her cancel surfaced and hid. It never really went away of course. In March 2005 she lost. She was 44. Her son was 12.

My heart has ached for Steve and his son ever since. They stuck together. They were best friends. He was the light in Steve's life. They were partners in this new life of theirs.

Last night, it all ended. How can it be?

They had moved from Maine to Florida because of work after Janet died. Last year, they returned home to Maine. Last week, they went on vacation to Florida and had a wonderful time. They were in a limo riding home from Boston last night when an SUV came at them. The woman in the SUV was driving south in the northbound lane of the highway. She broke her ankle. But in the process, she killed two people and ruined my friend's life.

I'm having trouble finding my faith at this moment. I truly can't understand how this can happen. How is Steve going to go on? How? I don't know that I could.

The only shred of goodness I can find in this horrific tragedy is that now Cooper is with his Mommy again. She will take care of him. But who will take care of Steve?

Hug your family. Savor life. Enjoy and appreciate every second you have with your loved ones. I was standing in the airport waiting for a plane when I heard this news. I haven't really been able to focus on anything ever since. I was lucky enough to land safely on the ground and hours later, hug my children. Nothing has ever felt so good and I will never ever take that for granted.

It only takes a second.

Can I just say.....

MASSAGES ROCK!!! Oh I lived in luxury this morning. I woke up late, crawled next door for some coffee, and at 9:45 hopped on this table for an amazing hour of bliss.
She pushed and rubbed and heated and torqued me but it was glorious. I was being pampered!! It was a very wonderful rare treat. My neck is no longer in knots. Ahhhh.......
I have to do this again next year. Maybe sooner? Honey? Please? It's a treat.. I don't take this for granted.
I strolled back to our room in a daze and know what I did next? You guessed it. I went out for a run. I felt awesome. Finally. My legs were in a dead zone last week but now I'm feeling fresh again. Washington D.C. is a beautiful place but I gotta say, not so much this morning. It's pouring first of all. Second of all, there's a rally here right now of truckers. They are protesting high fuel costs. Can't really blame them for that. However, they're driving circles around the Mall blaring their horns. It's a frickin' racket!!!!!! Awful really. I am all for lowering fuel costs of course and I know these guys have it really bad right now. But I must say, I'm not sure this is going to accomplish anything. We'll see....

time to go wander through some museums.
And then, maybe a nap??
Ahh, I am being spoiled this week.

And now I rest

I'm heading off tomorrow on a little trip with my husband. It's not a big fancy vacation. Just a business trip to D.C. We do stay in a nice place and we'll have some nice dinners but what I am looking forward to is SLEEP!!!
I am so in need of sleep.
It's been a hard week of training.
It's been a fantastic week of fun with the boys. I have enjoyed them so much. For some strange reason I feel like I've discovered this new pocket of patience deep inside me. Who knows. The little things stopped bothering me so much. It was refreshing. I am really goign to miss those littel guys. They are my sunshine. Just like I sing to them.
I will take this trip and savor my alone time. My time to sit silently. I won't talk to anyone all day long! (My husband will be in meetings while I wander.)
I look forward to returning next Tuesday with a new burst of energy.
I'm boring tonight. I'll write more next week when I am rested and full of stories.
Happy weekend everyone.

15-15-10-10 Ouch!

I've had some really tough workouts this week and my legs are feeling pretty used up. It's a great feeling. I know that if I can keep them well fed and then give them a little rest soon, I'll be so much stronger next week. At least I think that's how this all works.

Last week I finished up my time trials with my coach with good results. Overall, my speed increased a bit with similar or slightly lower. This is good. Coach likes what he sees so we move forward from here. I moved right into a long run, long bike, some swimming of course and then a brick on Sunday. I love bricks. I always feel a little apprehensive when I start out but in the end, the run always feels so fast and easy and my confidence soars.

Monday started with 15x100 in the pool. I wanted to play with some speed. I have this sprint tri next week and I have to remember how to go fast in the water rather than just long long strong swims. They felt pretty good. I do wish I had some teammates to swim with so they could help push me along but I was able to get the pace going a bit. I held some 1:15s for a while and was pleased with this.

After getting home, giving the kids breakfast and doing some other jobs around the house, it was time for a bike. The kids are on vacation this week so our schedule is a little more relaxed. I set up the trainer (no time to get outside alone today with the 3 boys in tow) and let them watch Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Woah! Tough bike set.
15x3 minutes POE. That's parcelled out effort. Each 3" interval is harder than the next. Ideally you go faster too. Sometimes it turns out to be more effort and less speed. Coach wouldn't like that but hey, sometimes you're just tired! :)
My legs were Burning!!!!! Killer quad set. I just pushed and pushed. I was told to take 2-5" recovery between. Well, to save time and end this workout when the kids ended their movie, I had to stay at about 2 minutes. Plus, I figured this would make me tougher. It was Tough that's for sure. I enjoyed a yummy protein powder/yogurt/milk/frozen fruit smoothie after that one!

Tuesday I headed back to the pool. I love when I can swim back to back days. My stroke comes together and I just feel more powerful. Back in the old days when I was a young college swimmer, I swam 2x/day 6 days/week. I long for that feeling in the water again.
Ok, this time it was 10x200. POE again. I still wanted to work on speed but with a bit more distance. This felt good too. I brought the time down to 2:30. I was ok with this. I want more. But hey, I'm waaay ahead of last year at this point! April 2007 I wasn't even in the water yet! My shoulder was still so so weak. I am lucky to be doing this. I still have to remember that.

Last night was a hard run. My legs were really dead. I could feel it while walking up stairs, following my kids for 2 miles while they road bikes (ouch) , and just bending down. You know that dead leg feeling....I have it. I do need a rest. But, not yet.
I started out really slow and a bit worried about my ability to do this workout right. I took about 25" to warm up and then I started. 3x10min POE. Miraculously, my legs had loosened up and I felt good! I was able to work through the fatigue and push out some really good 10" efforts. I picture my competition about 15 steps ahead of me and I go for it. I imagine coming towards the finish line and "sneaking" up on them. It really drives me to work hard. I hope I can chase some fast girls down next week. Such fun.... :-)

And this morning I started my day at 4:55 with a wonderful 12 mile run. I am not sure how I did it. I started out so easy but by mid-run I was feeling just fine. I cruised along at a decent pace and loved every minute of it. My weekly run mileage is pretty low lately so I am so thrilled that I can easily run 12 miles every now and then. It really says something for all this cross-training.
My husband is aghast. He is just looks at me and says, "Are you ok?" Don't' you need a day off? Heck no!!!! This is what it's all about!! Keep on going. Stay consistent. Work through the fatigue. I will have a few more tough days and then I'm off on a 4 day trip with my husband to D.C. It's business but mostly pleasure for me. I will be alone for most of the time. Solitude. Peace. Quiet. Sleep. I can't wait. And, I'm already excited to get back home to my 3 little monkeys.

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On another note...I am so excited! I got a new training long and it is actually a Multisport book! There's a spot for two workouts/day, all 3 sports, nutrition, and lots more. Until now, I have just written in my running logs. Maybe I'm way behind everyone on this but I am so excited. I like to write my workouts down in a book and not on the computer so this is awesome for me. Yeah!

Confidence-doubt-confidence-doubt-no Confidence!!!

That is how I feel lately. Back and forth between a strong internal toughness and total lack of faith.
My first race is approaching fast. No, it's far from my A race. It's just a race. Just a beginning of the season sprint.
But, you see, I put massive amounts of pressure upon myself. I always have. Once I have shown success in something I feel there is no going back. I don't want to let myself down. I want to live up to other's expectations. You know what though, they probably really don't care.
I hammer through some workouts and feel so fast and strong. It is during those times that I feel ready to rock. I think about my competition and convince myself that I have just as much fight as they do.
Other days I hammer through workouts and think just the opposite. Strangely, I dont' have be having a bad training day to have my moments of doubt. Sometimes this big fog comes over me and I start to think, "who are you kidding?! You can't begin to compete with them." I completely doubt myself.
It really doesn't matter. It's just a race. And I do all this for fun. But for me, a big part of the fun is the competition. I hope I can put up a good fight next week.
Interestingly, I think a big part of the race will be determined in the water. Two of the top women are FAST!!! It's a short race so there won't be much room to play with. Besides that, they're good bikers and runners too. See, the doubt is back. The confidence is gone.
I have to get back in the water and find some more of my "fight."

Fitness Assessment week

I'm in the middle of time trial week. Every so often my coach wants to re-assess my fitness. I do this with 3 basic time trials. The problem? I'm alone. I feel pretty nervous as I head out to see just how fast I can go at this point in my training......alone. I expect a lot of myself you see. When I race, I have all kinds of forces working in my favor. I get the flow of adrenalin, the nerves, my intensely competitive drive, my ego I suppose and the sheer joy of racing. All of those things work together to help me push myself to the limit and find my inner speed.
Instead, this week I have had to try to find that speed all by my lonesome in a lane, on the dimly lit morning roads and in an hour from now, out on rte 26.
That said, it's going well.
I did a 3 mile run yesterday morning. I actually warmed up with a short bike ride and then another few miles of running. I was able to run 14 seconds faster than the 3 mi TT last month and my HR was the same. I ran it in 19:38 with an ave HR of 178.
My swim this a.m. was about 16 seconds faster than last time. I did the 1000 yards in 13:02. That gave me great satisfaction. I have been feeling stagnant in the water lately and wondering why. I know my weekly yardage is less than ideal but I still feel like I should see some gains. Today I did and it was satisfying.
Let's see what I can do on the bike. 12 mi TT. My other assessments have been Much different because they were on the trainer b/c of weather issues here in Maine. I will have hills, wind and all those other factors we deal with outside. I will try to be objective about that and not beat myself up if I'm not happy with my time.
I am really getting revved up about starting the season on 5/3. I really can't believe how soon that will be here. Between now and then I have school vacation with the kids and a trip to Washington,D.C. with my husband. I hope I can stay rested and fresh while there (of course, I'll be swimming and running too) and get ready to rock when I get home.