Marathon Monday

My day started at 4 a.m. in Houston. I had a long travel day ahead. I was excited and so eager to see my family.  Five days away is a long time for this Mom.  So I hopped in the car and battled the insane I-45 towards Hobby a'port.  Time to go home!!! 

A Happy feeling indeed to start the day. 

It was also Marathon day! The Boston Marathon!! TriMoxie had a handful of athletes running, I knew of a bunch of other Maine friends and of course, there were many I didn't even realize were there. 

I love Boston. I went to Graduation school there in the 90s and ran Boston myself back in '95. It was just my 2nd marathon! I've ran many more since then and while I've qualified, I've never gone back. I know I will... now I know that even more. 

I sat in the airport looking at the blue and orange plane I was to board. I sent a few encouraging notes to my friend that I coach reminding her to breath deeply and think positively. 

Then... I hopped on the plane. 

I spent the first layover chatting briefly with a few people: 

_________________________-

"I saw Marisa, she looks great!"

"Mile 16!"

"Sheri Piers 2:39!"

"Shalane was first American, 4th overall. One minute ahead of Kara (6th)."

"Joan Samuelson:2:50!!!!"

"Incredible! She must be so happy! Are you home?"

Now, I stop texting my friend, my sister in law, a woman I coach who is watching another friend racing... and I board the Southwest flight in Chicago. En route to Boston."  

Flight attendant to me: "Have you ran the Boston Marathon before? I saw your bag." ( carrying Ironman backpack for my carry on.. )

Yes, I have. Years ago. I have a lot of friends running today and a few people we coach.  I heard Joanie Benoit ran a 2:50!! Amazing.  I think it's perfect weather today.   

and we talked... on and on.... 

Lucky for an uneventful and timely flight, we landed at Logan. I was hoping to catch the 4:30 bus back to Maine but it was tight. I was in a hurry and at least wanted to grab my suitcase and bike box to be sure to hop on the 5:30 coach.  I wasn't sure how long it took ....so it was  time to hustle. Although I was anxious to talk to my family and hear the results of the racers, I held back on digging through my purse for the phone and instead, hurried to the baggage claim area. 

We waited..no bags yet... .... so I dropped my gear and turned on the phone. 

First, I was confused. The messages didn't make sense.... 

Then, and again now as I type, my heart raced and a lump grew in my throat. 

The phone buzzed and messages like this popped through:

"What happened at the Boston marathon?? .... there were explosions at the finish??" 

from another:
"Explosion at Boston finish line!!" 

what does he mean? Explosion...? I typed back,"What??" It didn't go through. 

"Where are you?" from my Dad... 

I remained a bit confused. Other passengers around me started getting on their phones.  I looked around and listened to others...... their faces and reactions confirmed it. Something was seriously wrong. 

I heard, "the city is shut down.. we're not going anywhere..." 

what??? 

Then another text, "Two bombs went off!!! Emergency!!! I"m safe"

deep breath. ok... she's ok. what the hell is going on??? 

_____________________________________________-

At this point, it started to hit me. I started to process just how many people I knew down there... and all the people I knew that Could be there....

I started texting back... but nothing would go through.  

I reread the note from my sister in law and started to respond to her.... and it wasn't until that moment that I realized, Hey, I am IN Boston! I 'm in the airport..... unease set over me. 

Meanwhile.... where the hell is my luggage!?? The crowd around me had cleared. The carousel had stopped moving. That was it. My gear was not there. No bike. Perfect.... I needed to leave. It was time to get home. Now, more than ever. 

I was in a state of panic for so many reasons.  I called Mark.... I told him about the bombs and the luggage and nearly broke down. He knew. He was with the kids and was being careful about expressing fear to them.... "get on the bus. You'll get your stuff... "

And more from Dad, "Don't worry.... give them your tags. Talk to the baggage claim Get on the bus!! Call from the bus. " 

I filed my claim and found my way outside to wait.  That's when it all started to sink in. 

The airport was becoming tense.  I watched FBI agents flow inside, bomb sniffing dogs were everywhere, police cars.... more and more and more of them.  Bus after  bus arrived. But not mine. Tears were in my eyes and I felt helpless.  

Thoughts of the race and the scene overwhelmed me. I was sick to my stomach. 

To me, this wasn't just something that happened to other people. It wasn't just something that made me feel empathy and sadness for others. This was happening, to us. This was so so close. These were 'my people.' 

If you read my blog, you have heard me boast about the unparalleled support I have and have had, all my life. 

I always, and I mean Always, have amazing support at my finish lines.  When I ran Boston in 1995, my Mom, Dad, and future husband Mark, were all right there. Right in that spot. When I finished Lake Placid Ironman in 2011, they were all there. My Mom, Dad, brother, husband, and... my three children.  They were there for me. If I wasn't there, they wouldn't have been there. There have been many many big races like that. Chicago, Kona, and so on.... 

The spectators were hurt on Monday. The runners were scared and their moments were stolen, but the supporters were killed and injured. There are no words. We are so sorry. 

I stood on the curb trying to process that. I stood there, crying on and off, jumping at every siren, and looking for the corners to hide in if I needed to. I prayed that the  bus reading PORTLAND would come around that corner. It was late. I waited a long time.  

Could I race again? Could I bring my family? If so, should I tell them to watch from a random middle of the course spot and skip the finish?
The beloved finish line... I've always savored that moment. Now... 

I feel guilt, and I wasn't even there. I feel responsibility. I am one of those runners. I am one of those people who travels to crazy places and enters big events for the euphoria & pride it brings. I am one of the athletes that asks her family to come watch. I have them with me, everywhere I go. I have always known that I was taking risks,but I was taking it.   I have never ever, not once,worried about my family's safety while they were there for me. I have considered their  boredom and their fatigue. Hey, even their hunger as I spent 10+ hours out on the course. Moms worry about their kids being hungry. I have never feared they would be attacked and killed. 

The shock and fear and sadness are real. The anger is building. Those emotions aren't something the psychologists just haphazardly write on the paper... they are real. 

I wasn't even there.... and yet I was.... 

My appetite is slowly coming back. I am able to watch the news without too much trouble now. And, I know I will race again. Hell yeah.... 

But, where will the kids, Mark and my parents be? Not sure yet. I am not ready for that one yet.  

We run to feel good. We run to achieve goals and conquer challenges. We run to stay healthy. Perhaps we can inspire and motivate.  

But we don't run to put others in danger. And that is what it felt like that day. 

Athlete's guilt.... that's what I have. From afar. Yet, right up close. 

This act of terror wasn't my fault. Of course. It was the action of another evil soul roaming our earth. We do all need to over power that evil and I can see the actions of the Boston community and the country as a whole are doing that... 

But it will take time for many of us to process this one. 

Oceanside 70.3 Race Report

Travelling to California from Maine for a 70.3 at the end of March, was a risk for me.  In the end, I'm so happy I dove in head first and took it. I stepped out of my comfort zone and landed with a huge smile on my face.

Our trip across the country was long and exhausting.  We left home Tuesday night to stay nearby the airport, we grabbed the kids at 4 a.m. and hustled off.  Eight hours later, we were only in NJ with a mechanical problem in our plane. We were taken off after 2 hrs on the tarmac, put on a new plane, and as a result, missed the connection in TX.  Long story short, we finally made it to San Diego at 8p.m ( 11 our time) and then had an hour + to go before getting to Oceanside.  We were beat. I was stressed about recovering from that since I had also been up at 4 a.m. for two days prior to leaving.  However, we were ok. Thursday we spent the day getting my bike from the cool Nytro bike  shop, wandering the expo ( my kids love those things... ), finding groceries and a yummy breakfast spot and getting checked into the race.
Friday--- the day before. I hate the day before. I must say. Friends and family close to me know this too.  I'm kind of a twit that day. I get anxious and nervous.  (I'm EXCITED too but the positive excited feelings seem to be squashed by my anxiety) Here's the thing though. It's part of the process for me. If I was apathetic and calm, I wouldn't be ready to rock on race day. It's my way of building to the full 'state of arousal' that is needed to go after it from the start.  Mark constantly tells me, "Good... glad you're nervous. You've never done well at a race you weren't nervous for." I know but I do not like the feeling!!!!  Who does, right?
As anxious as I was, I was a little slack with my prep. I didn't' Realize it at the time, but I forgot a few things.  A towel in T1 Bag, speed laces.... things that cost me time for sure in transition. Lesson learned.
The logistics of the race were a bit more complicated than most races. There are 2 transitions at Oceanside. I was staying next to T1.  What that meant is I racked my run gear the day before and rode my bike to T1. Some people set up their run gear on Saturday and had it laid out in normal fashion. Mine ( and a lot of others ) were hung on the rack in a bag. This just made T2 a bit slower and more cumbersome, but not a huge deal.
Not much else to say about the pre- game events.... let's get on with the race!!

4:30 a.m. I was up and at 'em. This is a bit late for race day! I could see the lights of T1 and hear the talk across the harbor from my hotel kitchen. The adrenaline was building.  I hopped on my bike, and rode to T1 in the dark....wishing I had a friend racing with me. It felt lonely to be there by myself.

Walking in, I saw a Zoot kit in front of me and thought maybe... Amber?? Hi!!  Amber Ferriera is a Pro Triathlete from NH. She rocks...check her out. 11th Pro at San Juan 70.3 and 10th the other day at Oceanside just a few weeks later. Amber is coached by my old coach here in Maine and we attended part of a training camp together a few years ago. I was happy to chat with her for a few minutes before we both headed off to get settled.

I did my thing at the bike rack. Wandered around from bathroom to bathroom, dropped my morning clothes bag, mozied to the Pro rack area to see if I could find and "bother" Beth Shutt for a few minutes ( no luck.. we still haven't met in person but we're friends in the blog world! :o) ) and then went back to check the bike one last time.  The lady next to me spoke up and asked if I was Angela. She had heard my name at races before so we had a great chat about Vegas and this and that. She was very cool.

Time to move to the swim...

We were corralled in waves, I was #13. It was crowded and moved fast. I watched Andy Potts come out of the water followed Closely by a pack of men. The women were out soon after. I screamed for Amber. And Beth.  I was no longer nervous... but ready. I felt the change... it always happens. I'm still full of uneasy emotions and I want nothing more than to Start, but the nerves aren't the same. I felt like I was in my element again. I knew what to do. I was in a good place and ready.

Finally... we stood at the edge of the water and dove it.  It was cold at first, but ok. We swam out to the start line and I was stroke for stroke with another girl. I expected I was looking at my competitor for the next 30 min.  I had no idea what to expect that day. I hoped for a top 10 age finish. But, I was way out west. I know a lot of the women I race back in New England, but out there, I had no idea. What was I up against??
I started shaking with cold as I waited for the start.

Without warning...  GO!

I kicked SO hard, put my head down, and sprinted.  After a bit, I started to breath every stroke and settle in.
This is when I take note of what's around me.
Hey....
Nobody. I left them behind. Yes!
And..... hmm.... maybe I can take this one. Let's see how this goes......

The boys watched from the rock wall at our hotel...This green cap might be me.  

View of finish area from the Pier

look from our hotel at the swim start

I felt great on the swim. The water temperature was cool, but totally refreshing and comfortable. I pushed pretty hard, watched for the kids up on the rocks and just found a solid rhythm. Before too long, I caught the waves of men that had gone off ahead of us and started weaving through them.  I rounded the final yellow buoy and got ready to turn in and head back on the orange.  Next thing I knew, some guy on a paddle board was right in front of me and hollering. I ignored him, wondered why he was getting so close to me, and kept on swimming. Wait...? 

What?? I yelled up to him.

"Go right! Red buoy!!" 

The 3 boys watching the swim from the rock wall right outside our hotel room.  

Oops. I was off course. I Really thought I was at the turn spot but not so. I corrected myself and slid around the red buoy. It didnt' seem so bad to me. But later, Mark & the boys told me I was really off. ( I stilll don't think so... :))  

Little did I know, girl #2 wasn't far behind me during the swim. However, when I went too far Left, she went too far Right. So, I guess it all worked out. :) 

I exited the water but completely missed the clock so I had no idea what my split was. I heard Mike Reilly announce my name and say, "All the way from Paris, Maine, Angela Bancroft." I smiled.  I dropped my cap. Then I dropped my goggles. I stopped to get those but let the cap go. I struggled with the wetsuit zipper. Always. It was a long run to the bikes... (part of my T1 time excuse) but I got there and started yanking the suit off. Hey! Riika was there!!  She told me her goal was to "hang on my feet for the swim."  I never saw her out there but I said, "Hi!! You did it!" She and I yelled words of encouragement to each other ( I know, sort of odd since there we were dueling it out for spot #1 in our age group) and she headed off out of T1 ahead of me. oops.  I was fighting with my socks.  Rookie mistake. But there I was. I had arm warmers all ready too... nope. No time. I stuffed all the junk back in the bag and took off.  

swim time: 26:42 1st division  9th overall 

I rolled away on my bike and knew I was feeling good. I wasn't gasping for breath and felt totally in control. My legs were 'on' and things just felt smooth....

We climbed up a short but steep hill and headed off. Most of the bike course is on Camp Pendleton and we're not allowed out there to preview. This ride was 100% mystery to me except for studying the graph & description on the website and listening stories from past year. 

So.... the huge 'speed' bump ( no idea if that's what it was, it was way way bigger than most I've ever seen ) across the road a couple minutes into the totally surprised me. I was down in my TT bars and saw it too late. I quickly sat up & grabbed on but not in time to grab my nutrition bottle off the front bars and it was GONE in an instant. I know I am supposed to stop and pick lost items up, but trust me, if I had, I would have caused a 30 bike pile up. The course was very crowded and while my bottle rolling across the road was bad, it would have been worse for me to stop dead in my tracks on the crowded road-path we were on at that point. I swore to myself and then, just moved on. 

The worst part? Two minutes later, the road was terrible again ( not a huge bump this time, just nasty road) and my Second bottle flew out!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!! NO! NOW I had a bit of an issue. All fluids + electrolytes, gone. First 5 minutes.  

OK.... stay calm Ange. I actually was calm. My mouth had the worst ocean after taste but besides that, I was and would be, ok. It wasn't hot. And, an aid station was coming fairly soon. Either mile 10 or 13. I couldn't remember. I took a deep breath, asked myself if I was 'pro' enough to handle it ( not a pro pro...but an experienced racer with my head on straight...) and decided yes, I could handle it.  

Shortly thereafter, I came upon the woman who was just after me on the swim, but beat me out of T1. Riikka Aramo is her name.  She and I bonded on this trek around Oceanside I must say. After chatting before the race, I really liked her. I was happy for her to have a great swim and the yelled, "Let's go girl!" as she whizzed out of T1 ahead of me. Sure... we were definitely racing each other.  But, in a friendly way I have to admit!!  I rode up and she asked me how I was, I told her great but that I lost my bottles. She was so cool..... first expressed her concern with a comical little swear in my honor and then offered me a GU. :) I love triathletes.... Hard core racing but in it together 'til the end.  I was all set and we split up in good legal fashion. 

The next 20+ miles were fast. I was having a blast and felt really incredible. I did have to stop at mi 13 to securely pick up two bottles and at that point, lost my lead, but I knew it would be ok. I was smiling and feeling incredible.  My skin was comically pale and I know I stood out a bit that way. Seriously, just the week before I was skiing here in Maine with hand warmers in my gloves and there I was, on Southern California roads riding my bike. It really made me smile. I was pushing and yet, the pace and power were coming easily.  Hey, guess there's something too all those trainer rides! 

The course is pretty fun.  For a while, it's really fast. There weren't many hills ( slightly rolling) and we were winding all around. Turns and corners, on the road, behind buildings, on paved 'paths' and up narrow areas with no pass zones. Around mile 22-23, the climbs began. For a few miles, they were just normal rolling hills.  The surrounding backdrop changed from dessert-like hills and valleys to green mountains.  I came around one corner, looked ahead, and laughed out loud. The climb that we could see coming our way was huge. I could see 100s of bikes slowly wiggling their way up this mountain. For some reason, I was excited. I was riding with men that day. My wave was the 1st of the amateur women so I had the pleasure of cruising by a lot of guys. So many were cool & supportive telling me to 'go get 'em.'  One man, in his 60s, even hollered, "Hey.. where are you from? You're pretty strong!"  That made my day. I guess he could tell by my paleness that I wasn't a Southern California girl.  (speaking of that paleness... guess I should have applied some sunscreen before racing that day huh??? oh oh... that pale is now pink and it Hurts!!!! Saturday was our first day of sun all week...I should have known the clouds would burn off that day... ooops...)  

Back to the hill.  It was pretty slow! I think I even hit 4mph a few times. I put my head down and thought about the fun day we skied White Heat in big powder, the many many mogul runs I had to endure with my boys, and all the other unconventional training I had done on skis over the winter. I passed the guys, and I caught back up to Riikka.  (She had gone by me when I grabbed those new bottles... )  My legs felt strong and I felt  good the whole way up. I was having a good day. 

The hills continued through mile 40 with a few more big climbs and lots of rollers. In addition, we had a strong  headwind during that period. The pace slowed down, a lot.  But after mile 40-42 or so, things got fast again. The roads opened up, the bikes had thinned out, and I was able to push the pace back to T2.  

Riikka and I were very close together at this point.  She and I passed each other back and forth from time to time. Again, always with encouraging cheers.  We knew we were in spots 1-2 and we wanted to keep it that way.  As we got close to the pier to finish the ride, she hollered up to me, "Hey!! You need to get ahead of that guy in yellow up there! There's a no pass zone and we can't get stuck!"  How cool is that?? I yelled, Thank you!!! And hammered up ahead of him. So did she. 

The ride finishes on a stretch down "the strip." It's along the ocean and lined with people cheering.  I sat up, unclipped and headed in... So  far so good..... 

Bike split 2:44  1st in Division.... in 5th place for amateur women at this point

the day was coming together. 

T2--ok... again.. pathetic transition.  Rusty I guess.  As I described earlier, I had to hang my run gear vs laying it out. No big deal. I dumped everything out and sat down. Socks on. helmet off. Glasses on. Race belt. Shoes... shoes! WHAT was I thinking???? NO Speed laces. Ugh. My hands were not working properly! They were swollen and fumbling like they do when they're cold. I wasn't cold but.. I had no dexterity. focus.. tie your shoes...little bow.. double knot... oh man. How many times have I done this? Note to self: tighter bottle holder for bike and Speed laces! Ugh... 

Riikka was in and out of T2 faster than I was. " Come on girl... let's go!" She yelled. :)  I yelled back, "I'm coming!! Have a good run! Great ride!! " 

( Later.. Mark and my Dad talked about how anxious they were because "she" was Right there!!!!  Mark even came close when I started the run and said, "hey, the first girl in your age group is RIGHT there!!!" I smiled and said, "I know... we're friends..."  and he just looked at me a bit confused..... haha... Still...believe me, the race was on.  )  

I was off in a minute.  Garmin strapped on. Gels fumbling in my hands but feeling good..... 

The first few miles of the run are flat, as promised. I was told this run was "pretty flat." We did have to climb a ramp that goes up and down to the pier. It wasn't bad.  Just a random back and forth with some strange turns. The sun was out ( I was burning... big mistake not to put on sunscreen. I was lazy about it b/c the sun really wasn't out during the week while we were there.)  and it was bright reflecting on the ocean and the white concrete road/path. I was getting hot.  (Maine girl here... I know, it was only in the 60s or so... maybe 70??)  

This shoes that ramp.. it's really a picture of this cool giant bubble the boys were no doubt enthralled  with. But I'm showing you the ramp at the beginning of the run. 

I was running 6:40s or so and felt gooooood. I felt 100% great.  No probs. I caught Riikka and we chatted for the last time during the race.  I had plans to hold my pace right there or at least, sub 7. But..... 

we ran off down the strip. The course was still flat. It was beautiful along the ocean. The water was sparking. The path was bright white. Good stuff. I savored the moment. I was in 1st and I was feeling good. I pinched myself, "is this happening? How did this happen??"  I had no expectations of coming here to win. This was my season opener across the country. My test run. My risk. I smiled.

Beginning of the run---yay! Time to see the kids and Mark. 

The course turned us left... up a hill. Ok. Another climb. No big deal. Then, it got long. For some reason, it felt really really long to me at that point. The next few miles were 'mostly' a steady climb. It wasn't steep by any means, but it was up. In addition, my garmin hadn't started properly and there were no mile markers. It was one of those parts in a race where you are flailing a bit... what mile am I on?? Where is the turn around? Where is this Flat course I was promised? 

After another turn and a bit more running, we made a 180 and headed back. There. Ok... NOW I know where we're going.  My pace had slowed more than I wanted it to, but I got my head back on and focused.  

Just run back to town, do the loop and see the family (the FORCE behind all this... right Doug? :)), and then bring it home!

The run back to town was hard, but I was handling it. I tried to get my pace down again. I hadn't been passed. I was still in it. I could taste it. I allowed myself to taste it. Until that point, I was conservative. I was still wondering how it was happening.  How did I get to that place? 

But now, 5-6 miles to go ( I wasn't really sure... ), it was time for me to own it. It was mine, and I didn't want to give that up. 

Heading out on 2nd loop... expression changing a bit

I ran hard. I wasn't going too fast, not as fast as I wanted, but I was running with all I had at that point. I took in the gels, stuffed ice in my shirt, sponged off my face, dumped water on my head ( yes, I was that  hot) and drank a bit of coke.  A mile + to go and I know I was smiling. 

( run split 1:35  1st Division and finished 6th overall amateur women) 

total time: 4:52

I did it. I was back along the strip by the ocean, the waves were crashing SO loud ( the ocean is my true happy place ) and the Finish sign was in sight. It was crowded and I had to weave in and around people.  I pushed hard, put my hands up, High fived Mark and one of the kids, and ran across that line with a huge smile of happiness and satisfaction.  Racing... I do love it. If I wondered at all during these long winter months, I am no longer in doubt. The day was a total blast and now I'm hungrier than ever before to nail this Ironman I have coming up.  

Happy with my 3 awesome boys 

On the award stage... they started early so I had to 'run' up there just in time and Mark missed the photo op 

Nick looking cool as he cheered me on. Mid race I heard the sweetest, " Go Mommy Run!" as  he trotted  along next to me for a minute. The best....  they are my force. 

Oceanside 70.3
 

Stepping outside...

I'm sitting at my desk at home, my kids are still at school, the bags are packed and the boarding passes are in my bag. My heart is already racing, and I haven't even driven out of the driveway! At some point last summer or fall, I can't remember which, I felt extreme excitement over the idea of racing the Oceanside 70.3.  I was ( am ) stale from racing many of the same events year after year.  This one caught my eye and  I registered. Just like that.  Done.  My 2013 started to take shape and it is clearing going to be one full of adventure.  I am stepping way way outside my comfort zone. Oceanside 70.3 on Saturday, a quick turnaround to a training camp in TX, and the back to the Lonestar state for the Ironman in May. (did you hear my voice shaking?? ) 

If you read this blog, you know I'm a New England girl.  I love all 4 seasons, including winter. Maine is never boring that way.  And this winter, we were blessed with lots of great fat white cold snow to play in and ski on!  What's the point? I am about to swim in the ocean, Bike ( OUTSIDE!)  56 miles, and top it off with a little half marathon. ( That part I have covered.)  OHMYGOSH!!!!  I'm staring out the window at white! It's only 40 degrees ( but really, that's kind of warm for us these days... ) and I have only been outside on my bike TWO Times!!!!

Yup... I've only been outside on my bike, two times. Yet,  I have pedaled for hours and hours. I've worked damn hard and I've put in some good training... but it feels very very odd to be heading to a race where it's warm and sunny when there's snow on the ground and ice on the lakes where I am. 

Time for me to put on the blinders and fly outta here. Once we land in the warm sunny land of Southern California (where, interestingly, I lived as a 22 year old fresh out of college. Triathlon wasn't even a sport I talked about yet... if it had been, I might not have returned to Maine! So good thing they kept it a secret from me while I was there.), it will be easy for me to fall into my zone. 

I'm excited to race.I really am. I think I'm ready to go push my limits and have a great day.  But I'd be lying if I didn't admit total nerves right now. However, I  have faith in my experience and my strength and so my plan is to just get out there and do what I do! 

  

Two more hours and we're off!!!  

scenes from Oceanside, CA 70.3 

The pier

swim start 

overlooking the run route 

I can't make up my mind!!!

I am sitting here in a complete flux. I have no idea what to do.

I'm racing Ironman Texas. In May.

The problem is, I live in Maine. This time of year, it's part snowy, part cold, part rainy, back to snow, with lots and lots of sand on the roads. Spring can be nice but it's also very unpredictable.

Texas, is hot. Period. At least it is to a Maine girl.

What on earth was I thinking??? Actually.. .I know what I was thinking and I'll get back to that later. I did this for a reason.

So there's this camp.... In Texas.  It's two weeks after my 70.3 race in Oceanside. It's on the Ironman course and run by a coach who lives ON the IM course. She knows the ins and outs of the event.

At camp, we would ride 112 miles on the course ( and a run and a massage and a talk ) and the next day run 3 hrs on the course ( and a ride and  a massage and a swim and talk on T1 and T2.)

Hmm..... it's a Long long way to go for a 2 day camp.  Travelling that far with a bike, isn't easy nor is it free. Ugh... plane ticket shopping is not fun. at. all.

the short summary:

pros--
two + days ( I'd go on Thurs) of solid training in heat and sun ( just like the race)
two + days of Training on the race course I'm hoping to nail but have never laid eyes on and never talked to anyone who has done the event.
two + days of hard training without worrying about rain or snow or cold temps... you just never know here in April

cons--
packing my bike and traveling with my bike and then having to reBuild that bike Alone!!!
expense--what is the Deal with the airlines these days!!???
travel and the stress of that alone.. it's tiring.

I can't decide.
I've been staring at various flight choices over and over for two days now. Scrolling between kayak.com, priceline.com, travelocity, southwest.com. Messing with different dates, different airports, different times of day, round trip vs one way... and I'm going Crazy!!!

Any advice??

should I stay or should I go..............????


But all that aside----
Happy Happy Birthday to my little man Nick!!!!!!!!!!! You're a true gift to us!!!!!!!!!!

What's up??

It's winter in Maine... This is the time of year that some Mainers get antsy. "Come on Spring! Enough is enough!"  Things like that... 

Honestly.. it sort of drives me crazy.  I mean... it IS only February. We Do live in the most Northeastern State of the U.S. Snow sports and recreation are a huge part of Maine's tourism industry and there are numerous businesses that rely on snowy weather to put meals on their table in July. 

Besides, quitcha belly achin..... I think my Dad used to say something along those lines. Or maybe, it was Mom. Either way, there was low tolerance for whining and complaining around my house.  

I know it can be cold, I know it can be windy and harsh, I know shoveling can be hard and driving is slower... but really.... there are also 101 fun things to do in the snow. So go do them. :) 

Last weekend, we did just that.  ( Well.. we do it every weekend but last weekend was particularly snowy and particularly fun.) A few little shots of my gang. 

I decided to break the mold of my typical Tri Season and sign up for some EARLY early season races. Hmm.... I'm starting to wonder what I was 'on' when I decided that.
Because... it's the EVE of March 1st. And, California's 70.3 Athlete Guide arrived a few days ago.
= Heart palpitations!!!! seriously.. my heart skipped a few beats.

Scary. Why is it scary? Well... as I started this blog, it's Winter in Maine. And I DO love winter. I do. I love it. We have fun. The snow is great. I never growl if it snows.
That being said.....
I can Not ride my bike outside. And it's highly likely I will not before I travel out west on 3/27.
uh oh.....

well.... I think I'll be ok. Right? Someone, tell me I'll be ok. This is new territory for me.

Otherwise... training is going well. Better each week... step by step. I have bad workouts sprinkled in there but overall, I'm feeling stronger on the bike, faster on the roads with less effort and in the pool.... not too bad.  It's coming along. I need to keep the faith, remember where I've been and have confidence in what I can do.

4 hrs on the trainer tomorrow!!!!!
Work now & it pays off on race day.
I just keep remembering that. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right.

43! My magic number ( A race report.... )

CAPE ELIZABETH 10 MILE ROAD RACE 2013 

 I turned 43 last month. I don't  like that number. Not sure why.... it just sounds... old. It sounds...... or rather it doesn't sound , like what I am. It doesn't sound like what I FEEL. I don't feel, nor do I want to feel, 43. Whatever that is!!  I've never been here before!!  But when I was younger, 43 sounded... grown up. It just sounded like a grown up adult and honestly, I kind of feel like a young kid. With grown up responsibilities.. so I know I'm a grown up adult. Can I be both?
I digress...

Hmm...
It can be a trick. Sure, there are many things I am dealing with physically that make each year harder than the last. But mentally.. it's an ongoing game. A battle...

I'm getting older... there's no way I can faster. Oh, she's at least 10 years younger than I am. She will definitely start beating me now. I must be losing muscle mass. My time has passed.... those days are gone... this might be it...sigh... or maybe not... maybe I still have "it"... do I? "  

A few more things go along with that. Those are my light hearted benign thoughts.  I had another post written ( in my head, I store a lot of them up there that never see print) about getting 'old ' and getting real.
Onward!

Today's Race Report--- 
The Cape 10 miler. That's what I always called it.  It's actually Maine Running Company's MidWinter Classic.  Or something like that....

I started running this race a LONG time ago. That's why I call it the Cape 10 miler... I think it used to be called that. I ran it back in college... or right after college at least. ( I haven't done it Every year since... but many of them for sure. ) My Mother and I ran it together one time. We have pictures somewhere and have laughed at our old school running gear. I know at least one of those years I wore a GIANT cotton sweatshirt that would fit my husband. So glad all that has changed.  Although I did see a kid wearing a 'wool' sweater today... ? He was ahead of us though!

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I can't remember ever going into this race feeling confident and sure that I was ready to run the goal race pace I had decided on.
It can be a tough time of year to run fast! My race season typically ends late fall, I take a break and then ease back into training.
This year isn't all that different except I am racing a Half Ironman in two months. Less than two months actually. (gulp...) 
That means I have been training and I was ready to run 10 miles today.  But I still lacked 100% confidence in my speed for that distance. During training runs, doing 5 min at my goal pace threw me into a tizzy. 3 x 5 min and I was ready to cry mercy.  But.... yesterday I ran a bit and the pace felt easy peasy... my easy pace was faster....  ok... game on. Let's go after this.

 My goal was to break 1:09. Just because I like breaking big numbers like that. A few years ago, I broke 1:10 for the first time.  Last year, somehow, I knocked it down to 1:09:32 by chasing my husband Mark the whole way.  2012 was a PR that I was happy with except, I absolutely crumbled physically and mentally during the last few  miles last year. It was pathetic. Sure, a PR, and at the end of the day, I am always always happy with that.  Yet I was determined to run this race smarter. And, faster.

On to the race
9:45 a.m. and Off we go...

Mile 1 was easy and fast since it's mostly downhill. I didn't hammer, I was in control, but... I was NOT about to let two ladies I race Tris with get too far from my sight. I could tell they felt smooth and relaxed... oh oh.. I had my work cut out for me!

6:27  to start the day

Mile 2-3 is more interesting with the "Spurwink Hills."  I trained in High School with my XC team on these hills. I remember Mr. Jackson standing on the top yelling to us.. "pump your arms!!"  Those hills were enormous back then.   But now, I live in the Foothills of Western Maine and those hills have shrunk. Thankfully... since there are 3 in a row and they are part of this race course!!

SO up and over we went... quick "spinning" up the hills as Coach Doug advised and then lay down the  power/ strength to get up and over....  6:58 and 6:51 for those two miles.  Mark was right there. But, this year, unlike the last several. I felt like I had the edge on him. ( not that I cared too much if I beat him or not.. but it's how I was gauging myself & how my day was going.

The next mile is flat for a while with a climb up to mile 5. I felt hot!!  I was overdressed. I would Absolutely be throwing my top later to my family when I saw them. 6:47 for  mile 4

Up the hill to  mile 5.. running AWAY if I could from the guy behind me Slapping his feet on the ground. It was driving Mark and I nuts. He sounded like he was wearing flip flops. Funny how sounds are amplified when running in races like that.  Finally found the 1/2 way water stop, grabbed a cup since I had just sucked down a gel, and kept truckin'... Mark and I ... step for step.  6:45 for mile 5

Now the fun begins... the flats at the marsh open up the course to the winds. Cold winds...  and.the long climb starts. It starts with a short but steep hill then a turn to start  a long climb up to the annual cheering spot for my family.  Mile 6--- 6:58   ( last year 7:06)---
The nice boost of 6 kids and my parents!  Thanks Mom, Dad, Tommy, Griffin, Audrey, Nick, Cameron and Jack ( from left to right in the pic w/ Jack down front) !!!!!!!!

 I high fived as many as I could  and made the possible error to throw my jacket and neck warmer. The wind was whipping and my arms that were sweaty under the coat, froze in the air. C'est la vie.. not much I could do! Run faster.... that would get me to warmth sooner.

I said to Mark, "Hey! We don't hurt yet!!! "
He mumbled, a few steps back. "My ass."
I chuckled and told him, "I'm playin' a game! WE DON'T HURT YET!"
"Ohhhh.. okay! I'm with ya!"
:)
I know he was grumbling inside. Haha...
miles 6-8 are tough.. you've gone pretty far but there's a long way to go. A girl in a purple top had passed me on a hill not long ago. I decided that she didn't belong in front of me. I kept my eyes on her back and got ready to make my move.

We are running on a long "deceiving" road by Crescent Beach now... if you drive it, you think it's basically flat or at least downhill. NOPE! It's not. And, when racing a 10 mile race, you feel every little grade. Trust me. The wind was whipping and cold. This race has Certainly seen colder temps and harsher conditions but it was cold out there today. My face was Frozen. And, I had a look on too. I could feel it. I was gritting my teeth. I was squinting my eyes. I was watching my Ave pace like a hawk. To go sub 1:09 I needed an average no more than 6:54.

I was close. I had been hovering around 6:48 but it was at 6:52 now and I didn't have any room to back off. It was time to fight. Now... it was time to hurt.

Miles 7 & 8 were 6:57 and 7:02! Yikes!!! NO! I couldn't afford any mile >7:00.
I had grabbed a cup of Gatorade at 8 , spilled it on my hand, on the front of my white top and am not sure if any actually went in my mouth. Mark was there again. "How do you feel? "
"Great! Time to drop it... "

Tell the brain & tell the body you feel good or... or else. ( Did I actually feel Good?? Hellno! I was digging as deep as I could, I was frozen, my left hamstring hurt, my calf was twinging, I was Tired! My face was Frozen! I was at my Max HR  of 188 and there wasn't anything I wanted to do more than stop running. BUT!  I had TWO more miles to race!!! So no whining allowed!!!!! )   

My teeth were clenched. I was in don't give up now mode. Nothing was going through my brain other than my fight words. ( sorry.. I keep those to myself. :) )
 I hurt. But I wasn't going to miss out on this goal by two seconds! Nope.. not today.
I admit.. there was a minute or two in there that I thought, "Ok, if I drop my pace a bit too much I will Still PR... I am on my way to at Least a low 1:09! and that is Great!! A PR!" But quickly smacked myself back to , "Stop it! You WANT this 1:08! DO IT! NO excuses!"
 Mile 9  6:56
Mark was behind me now. He was close but I was edging him out this year. I can't remember the last time I beat him at this race. Yay... :) I admit, this made me smile. If he was 6 sec ahead of me, that would be totally fine too. But Nick ran up after the race and said, "Who won? Mommy or Daddy?"  I kind of liked hearing, "Mommy." I know.. I'm bad. I never said I wasn't competitive. And, Mark is at peace with that. Thankfully.

I pushed SO HARD right to that finish line. I was razor sharp focused today and being able to do that, felt amazing and rewarding. After struggling with this at my last big race, I found great comfort and happiness knowing  I could dig to that place once again. I finished up with a 6:49
and squeezed out a 1:08:49.  (1st age group, 8th woman OA)

A big fat PR!
 Yes!   And, 43 seconds better than last year!!!
At AGE 43!!!
Ha! My new magic number. Maybe I do like the way it sounds and feels after all.

This is all I need to kick of 2013 on the right note and head to Oceanside 70.3 with new confidence and excitement!

_________________________________________________________

 Here I am with Rockstar TriMoxie Athlete Kim Cole who took 2nd in her 55-60yr age group today!!!!

Three more Rockstar TriMoxie Athletes Kristin Bathe, Katelyn Michaud and Beth Anderson.
Sean Quigley and Leigh Small also ran great races today!

It's 2013!! How did that happen??? Here we go... off on a New Year!   This time of year is both refreshing and overwhelming.  The big holiday season has come and gone and we're all heading down the road to This Season.  There's no more faking it... it's time. Time to get to work and take it seriously. That is, if we want to really knock it out of the park this year.

I just had a birthday. So... I guess that's cool.  I don't like that I'm older and yet, as the cliche says, it Is better than the alternative. And, I do take comfort in the fact that I could basically kick my younger self's arse if given the opportunity.  

My birthday was kind of odd this year.  I left home at 6:30 a.m. being chauffeured by my husband to the Doctor. Then, I spent the next several hours having my mouth reconstructed.  Mmmmmm, oral surgery. I had some periodontal grafting....basically, he took tissue from my palate and sewed it on to the gums on the bottom of my mouth. Just one side. I had this done 15 years ago too. Only then, I had 2 quadrants done at at time ( ultimately all 4) instead of one. I am sore and it hurts, but nothing like last time. Regardless... strange way to spend most of my birthday. I was pumped full of drugs and sent home to lounge in my PJs. That part was nice.  The rest of the day was better though. My kiddos came home and pampered me a bit. They felt sorry for me so I had lost of nice gentle snuggles and hugs and "ooohhhh Mommy does it hurt?"  Not bad for a gaggle of boys!!  They made me a yummy cake with ice cream and some soup for dinner. I was able to eat that so... success. 43 here I come. Ready or not. 

 First up ( for Triathlon) is Oceanside 70.3.  I've never raced out there and have NO idea what to expect but I am in need of new things for my racing at this point.  I want to race new people on new courses.  So off to Cali we go.  From there... I head to Texas.  Ironman Texas is in May and I'm toeing the line. I'm excited. Everyone asks me, why Texas?  Why not!!!  After racing Lake Placid twice and feeling rather fed up with the lack of hospitality from the locals there, I wanted a new venue. I love that it's in May ( although training will be a huge challenge that early in the season up here in Maine) so I can cross that off the list before the kids even get out of school.  ( that's another blog... oh baby are we all busy now with these boys!!!)  My Aunt lives in Houston so it's a great chance to visit her down there instead of up here. That is that! Bring on a challenge!!  From there... who knows. Time will tell.  But, I'm extremely enthused and ready to attack this year and my athletic goals. I have a new coach whom I trust 100% and feel so excited to be working with. I hired Doug Welling  at The Sustainable Athlete a few months ago and I feel so grateful that he has taken me on.  

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Moving on from my plan this season, I have a huge blog post written in my head that will take more time than I have right now to write.  I've been stewing about this for months, actually. 

I have become more and more aware of a component in training and race preparation that is holding athletes back.  The Brain Game.  It is HUGE!!!!  I'm on the verge of starting to write this post because I can't hold back now... but I need to stop. 

Let' me just say this.  You can run. You can swim. You can bike and you can do planks until you're blue in the face.  But if you don't figure out how to keep your Head on... and stay tough and focused and mentally Stubborn when it comes to achieving your goals, you will not do it. You can't. If you set high goals, do the training physically, and then waiver... game over.
I believe this with all my heart. I've seen it and I've experienced it. All my life.  

You make it happen or you let the chance slip by because you faltered. Your choice.  

More to come  on this one.......