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"Are we there yet?"
"How much longer?"

A few little sentences you have likely heard if you've driven in a car for more than 60 min with children. I feel a bit like a child myself right now. Is it TIME yet??? Oh please, let this race happen soon!!!!

Ha... I need to watch myself because really, the next two weeks will fly by and believe me, by about 4:00 p.m., 2 weeks from tomorrow, I will be wishing I could set the clock back just a few hours. Those last few hours get scary.

Here's the deal--
My 2013 race season started Early last year. My first A race was in March, in California. For a Maine girl who skis all winter, that's early. And, it was a challenge. I made sacrifices and stayed disciplined all winter, however, and nailed the race and took home the gold. From there, it was onto Ironman Texas. Again, I stepped out of my comfy summer training and raced a hot hot HOT humid race in early spring. Yup... crazy. That one was tough. Not a total crumble, but not a rock solid day for me.
After a bit of summer racing then two solid 70.3 events late summer/ early Fall, I got serious. Very serious.

I have put my heart into this one. I have crossed my Ts and dotted my Is. It hasn't been perfect and there are a few things I didn't quite accomplish, but I am not one to dwell on those things. Because, I never skipped a workout. I never quit when I was tired. I rode and rode and rode and rode that bike. I have logged more miles than ever. I endured a 100 miler with high winds, big hills and temps in the upper 30s and I have also endured a few more 100 milers without moving an inch. 5.5 hours on the trainer.. heat cranked... no fan... multiple pairs of shorts because they were 100% saturated with sweat. You get the point. And that's just the riding.  There were countless 4 a.m. mornings to the pool when Believe me, the bed was much more enticing. One morning when I got home from the pool, Mark laughed hard as he told me the swears I yelled at my alarm clock 3 hrs earlier. Oops.

Training for an Ironman isn't just the hours on the road, it's the details between the workouts. Your food choices, your drink choices, your bed time, and your choice of 'other' activities all matter. It can take over your world. If you let it.

That's why it's so exhausting and overwhelming at times. I can't let it take over. I am a mother and wife and have a job. And of course, my children trump all. My home filled with boys who are now into their teen, pre-teen and thankgoodness he's still under 10 year old lives is busybusybusy!!!!!! I am not afforded quiet weekends to regroup and prep meals for the week. Most of this training period was squished with mega-soccer. We had games and travel galore all weekend as well as practices & games most week nights.  Add in homework and meetings and and and....... My time between workouts wasn't allowed to be 'chill.' In my world, I squeeze in the training while the kids are at school and then typically end up with 20 min to shower and eat (often I have a gulp or two of Endurox IN the shower to make sure this part happens)  before I start the after-school scramble. If I'm lucky that is and if I don't stop too much while riding and suck up that time. So....it's hard! But I wouldn't change a thing. It's the life I have chosen and I enjoy it!

I take my training very seriously. I am not a pro. But I want to be the best I can be. It matters to me. I want to toe that line knowing I did all I could do.

I believe I have done that. I am ready for this race. Two more weeks with rest and sharpening and then I can JUST DO IT!

I am not nervous yet. I am not "freaking out."  I am calm and I am focused. Sure, big nerves and anxiousness will kick in. But there is still work to do and miles to travel.

And then, on  12/1/13 I will give it ALL I have. Of that I am certain.

I am also certain  that I can't Wait for 12/2 and the weeks / months to follow because I am READY for a rest, ready for more time for all the other important things in my life.

Good things ahead! I can feel it.

Oh... the # in my title. I'll let you guess.

Ironman Cozumel is around the corner. Just a few days over a month to go. Because of this, I am operating of only partial brain power at the moment. I anticipate feeling a lot better after Saturday morning when I can actually put the alarm clock in the drawer and have a day at home. There are a million + 1 things to do here and of course, training, but on our own time schedule for a rare treat!

Training is going very well. I'm working very hard and most of the time, I feel positive and excited about the coming weeks. Sometimes it's hard to maintain that eager feeling.  For me, it's a build up of cumulative training fatigue along with the emotional and physical work it takes to raise a family of three boys. It can be a lot. Not to mention, I don't have people around me that I can talk to about this day to day. Not that I 'need' to talk about it too much. Thank goodness Mark is happy enough to listen to me. Mary is Always on the other end of an email when I need her. In addition, our house is under construction and our contractor is a good friend  who happens to be a Triathlete and 'gets it.'  That has been nice. But otherwise, my lips are sealed. I don't want to be that person who talks about her training .  Sometimes though, I just want a little hug or high five after I've worked my tail off for 6 days in a row.  It's not easy. Once in a while, I would love to tell stories about the crazy rides or runs I do.

So the countdown is on!
Alright, while there's only 30+ days left, I am still piling on lots of hours so my blogging time is limited.
I was laughing the other day-- noticing the little signs that Ironman training is full ON in my house.

Can anyone relate??

• At least a few times a week, I climb in the shower and find pieces of gel wrappers on dropping to the shower floor. They stick to my skin when I stuff them in my shirt on runs/ rides. 
• This : 

Is often my lunch. 

• I usually think of the week days in these terms: swim day, long ride day, long run day, double run day vs Mon Tues Wed... 
• I always have circles on my face-- not sure if they are permanent tired eyes circles or goggle marks, but they are there!  ( yes, getting old. skin not as fresh any more!! ) 
• Stairs can be very very evil. 
• Bike bottles seem to be everywhere in the house. Full in the fridge, emtpy in the sink, left on the bike.... all over the house. 
• It hasn't taken me too long to go through one of these massive jugs of post- workout tastiness!

• Laundry is everywhere. And while I do have 3 busy boys, 95% of the laundry seems to be MY workout clothing. And, I never seem to get a minute to fold it. Do you need to fold it? it's ok to just live out of it this way, right? 

• My short ride day is ...80 miles.  
• Everyone tells me to give up coffee....and I think I might cry.
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•  I  have a love/ hate relationship with this thing....

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And as crazy and all consuming as this training can be, I love it. I feel myself getting stronger. My confidence is building and I know I'll be ready as ever on 12/1/13.

Time to hop on the bike!!!!!

We found it...

What? What did we find?

Our lesson. We found the elusive life lesson in a crummy situation this past weekend. Through the course of my life,  which has been very heavily involved with sport, I have learned that there are many life lessons to gain from our involvement in them. Sure, I learned and trained to become a skilled swimmer. But wow, that is just the tip of the iceberg of what I got out of all those years on all those teams.  The lessons I learned along the way that had nothing to do with the water, are too many to count.

I have been telling  my kids this as well. I've been sharing stories with them and assuring them, that as they move on through their life in soccer, or skiing, or running or LAX or golf or whatever they choose to do, the Lessons are out there. Just wait. They're coming.

This past weekend, it was time to dig deep inside and find the golden nugget and the hidden lesson. It was time to find a silver lining after being handed a nasty card. I thought it might be hard to find. But really, it was right in front of us and heartache turned into heartwarming moments we'll never forget.

Summarizing the situation-- it's all about Soccer right now in the Bancroft home. Starting the first week of August when I drove them all an hour each way to a day long soccer camp for a week, killed time/ worked in a coffee shop/ and trained for the 6 hrs they played,  through next Sunday, every weekend and every single day of the week, at least one of my kids had practice or a game.  Three boys + 3 teams = busy with nothing but soccer outside of work! And you know what?  We love it. We really love to watch our kids play any sport they are into.

Tommy's team has been together for a long time. I'm not exactly sure, but 4 or 5 years for most of them. They've grown up together. I have been friends with three of the Moms since before the kids were born and one of those is his 2nd cousin. It's a close knit group.

Their team is the most fun to watch. I'm not sure what it is about it, but it's just great soccer. The kids don't always win, but they all always play their hearts out. They have improved so much over the years, it's a blast to watch the changes and development that has happened. Friendships have formed between parents, families and the kids.

The season ends with playoffs and then if they do well enough, onto States. Our work was cut out for us. We played Div 1 this year and it was hard. Our team is U13 but a bunch of the kids, including my son, are younger and could be on a U12 team. Tommy is 11.  Some of his teammates are 13.
This past Saturday was game 1 of a 4 game playoff period. One game Sat & one  Sunday with the same rotation next week. We had to win at least one of these games in order to have a chance to get to States.
The team we played against Sat was seeded way ahead of us.  No worries, our team is tough. The night before, Tommy was nervous and excited. In his own words.  My son is a tough kid and he plays with heart. Tommy has gone at life with 110% since the day he was born. He's ON unless he's in bed. ( yikes! As Mom this can be a bit trying at times!! :) )   The team is everything to him. He has left practices both in tears and with great anxiety and worry thinking he wasn't good enough as well as fired up and excited about how things were going. He cares. He always tries his hardest when he's out there on the field.  And, usually, he does pretty well.

Saturday's game was Very exciting to start! Our kids were dominating the play. As an example of Tommy's effort, at one point he got the ball and ran full on down the field. ( He plays defense.)  He's in pretty good shape. He can run and run and run without getting too fatigued. Clocks a 6:10 mile at the school test. But, after this little breakaway, Tommy was gasping for air so drastically that his coach was yelling, "breath... breath..." as he tried to recover while still playing. Just an example-- he gives 110% of himself-- every time.

The half ended at 0-0.  Our team was fired up. Big hope for a win.

Then, only a few minutes into the 2nd half, the other team was firing at our goal. The boys were in the goal box trying to defend. A Hard shot was taken at "close" range to Tommy. His hands went up. Bam. Wrong move but done instinctively to protect his face. Reflex. He's 11!  He bent over and put his hands on his head in an "oh no" move and then ran off the field before I knew what happened. Where's he going?

The lady ref had made her choice. She had blown her whistle, reached in her pocked & more or less ended his season.  
RED CARD!
For a handball. At age 11.

Now, Tommy was on the bench and my heart broke. How could this happen?
The other team got a penalty kick ( as they should have ) and scored.
Tommy got off the bench, ran over to his coach and said, "I'm sorry."
He sat back down and I ached. I could see him, crushed. Crying into his hands. One of the coaches talked to him. A bit later, Mark walked over to find out what happened ( confirmed it was due to the handball).

What did it mean? It meant the rest of the game, our team played one player short. Tommy was out for the game. And, out for the next day as well. Seriously? A handball!  There was no reach to push the ball out of the net, there was no grab, just a hand to his face as the ball came at it. As Mom, I'm kind of glad I'm not staring at a kid with 2 black eyes, or a broken nose, or knocked out teeth. :)

Hard work all season to have the most important games taken away.

Rules are rules. But the Ref had the choice of interpreting it one way or the other and also had the choice as to whether or not give the Red card or not. I didn't see any of the 2nd half. The kids running around trying to save our game were blurry. All I could see was my poor kid sitting on the bench aching with sadness and guilt and confusion. He meant no harm to others. He didn't mouth off. He is always a good sport. He never does anything to harm or hurt his teammates. And now this. His act was playing a huge huge role in what turned into a 4-0 loss.

What happened over the next 24 hours was something I think we'll always remember.  The reaction and support from almost everyone there that day, was more than we ever imagined.

The coach on the opposing team spoke to Tommy. He told him what a great job he did while he was on the field and that the call was wrong. That coach reached out to the people in charge and said, "it was wrong. Let him play tomorrow."    Our coaches filed appeals. Calls were made and emails were sent. Parents reached out to Mark and I and we were told how sorry they were and how much they wanted to see Tommy play on Sunday. Other team parents even looked at us with tears in their eyes in sympathy for our son.

We held out hope. We heard this Ref had actually been banned from working in towns just 5 miles from where this game had been played. They would surely listen to all these people and reverse something or at least let him play on Sunday.  The call was finally made to us on Saturday night. He was not going to be allowed back in to play.
We took a deep breath. I made cookies. Tears flowed. He didn't eat the cookie. A good sign a little boy wasn't  feeling so hot. He skipped the cookie and laid face down on the couch--not talking. The next day, he got up with red eyes and a blotchy face.
I went for a run. I hadn't eat much since either, so my energy was pretty low. Half way around my block, I bent over, put my hands on my knees, and just cried.
My poor kid. He did not deserve this punishment for what he did. By accident.
It was wrong.  And it hurt. Sure, he'll get over it. It's just a game. He's only 11. But right now, to him, it's everything. It meant everything.
I ached for him.

We all pretended it was any other game day and rushed out the door in time to drive 60 min to get there for a 30 min warm up. Tommy had been wearing his uniform since 9 a.m. ( 1:30 game ) but was told he had to cover it.

There's no place else we wanted to be than at the game, cheering on our team. We never considered anything else, not for a second.

Tommy ran ahead of us, but when Mark and I arrived we were greeted by some of our friends asking how Tommy was doing and reinforcing how lousy they thought it  all was.

Then... they pointed out what a few kids had done.  Two of the boys had used tape to convert their uniform numbers into Tommy's #88. Tears welled in my eyes.
The Coach's wife had also made little tape band with the number 88 on them for the kids to wear on their socks or shoes.
They started the game in a huddle and yelled 88! Same thing at half time, and at the end.

It was like family. True teammates. Something crummy had happened to one of them and they were all sticking by him. His penalty hurt that team. And yet, they were uniting behind him because of the way he was punished too severely and, because his is their friend. Their teammate.  Not everyone has the chance to be part of a true team like this in their life. I am so grateful that my son is experiencing what it is like. He will always remember it.

 Some people may have held a grudge or been mad at my kid for causing all the chaos. That penalty kick went in, the score was 1-0, they immediately scored again, and our team had to play without their defender.  But instead, we felt nothing but love and support from a truly great group of people.

Remember, we're talking about pre-teen and early teenage boys. If you have some yourself, you know what I'm talking about. They aren't like girls who pass notes and tell each other all the ins and outs of their love and friendship for each other. They are too busy trying to be cool. Too busy trying to be the best at anything their doing together. They're tough and their expression of emotion and caring towards another boy that age has to been found between the lines.

And, we found it. It was in bright yellow highlighter.  Thank you OCSC boys team, coaches and parents.  We found our life lesson thanks to you all. There is nothing more important than true friends and family because when the chips are down, they are the ones who will pick you back up.
And that you did.
Thank you.

See you at practice.

Ange, Mark, Tommy,
Cameron & Nicholas

I write in my head while I run and swim and bike.  Hours or maybe days later, I may sit at my desk and attempt to put those written 'thoughts' into words on paper. Here goes... but I'm much more fluent in the water at 5 a.m.

In the middle of the night last night, I realized I was awake. It might have been 1:00. Or maybe it was 3:44 and my night was within 20 min of ending anyway. The point is, when my night ends 4:04 a.m., I don't want to spend any of my hours in bed awake thinking about my headache. I had a headache, again, and felt gross. This was the 2nd time this week.  I hate headaches. They consume me. I rolled over and pretended it was only midnight ( I don't look at my clock in the night when this happens... ) and hoped. Before I knew it: buzzzzzzz. Well that didn't take long. Ugh. 

I went into auto-pilot: hit the button, got up, put on my sweats, kissed my husband bye, and headed down for the ohsoawesomecouldn'tdothiswithoutit mug of coffee. It never tastes as delicious as it does at that hour. Love it. Then, I rub the cats, give them some water,fill a water bottle, throw the bag in the car and drive 45 min to the pool.  At least they play great tunes at 4:15 a.m. The stars can be really pretty too. It's also nice quiet time for me. I don't get much of that... .

Today, I was 2000 yards into my 4000 yard swim,when I realized, Hey! I feel great! Headache is gone, I'm swimming sorta fast, and in 25 min I'll be done without workout #1 and on my way home to the fam.  All by 5:30 a.m.!  Love it. ( even it is torture at 4:04... it doesn't last. ) 

___ 

It's not always easy. In fact, most often, it's quite hard!!  

Once in a while, I hear people talking about the secret. 

Sorry. There are are no secrets. It all comes down to these two things: 

Hard work &  No excuses. 

Repeat--> for years. 

During my swim today, I did some 400s. In fact, I did 10.  My goggles were a mess. They were leaking, they were foggy, and they were tight. 

Not once did I stop during a set to fix them. I swam blind, I swam with water in my eye, and my headache threatened to come back because they were so tight. I fought the urge to fix them for 3 in a row. 

Why? What's Wrong with me?? Just fix the goggles, right? Easy enough! 

Except, I'm training hard for an Ironman right now. And, during all 5 Ironman races I've been in thus far,  my eyes ACHED by the end of the swim because of the goggles. An hour without lifting them off your face is a long time and they get sore. And, I have them semi-tight because people hit me! During my last half ironman, I was kicked Hard in the face before I took my first stroke. It hurt, a lot. And my left eye was completely filled with water. I did fix that, but they were never on right for the race and I swam with water in there the whole time. 

So, I train for it. I train to be ready for anything. 

I train when it's freezing cold outside  and I train when it's hot. I train when it's windy and  I train when it's humid. I train when I feel good. I train when I feel bad. There are days that I look forward to a run and days that I absolutely loathe the idea of changing into my workout clothes, again. Once in a while, it's 70 degrees and sunny. The air is dry, my legs are light and fresh, and I'm not rushed for time. But really, is that how racing is? Only sometimes.  

There is no magic in this. There is just a lot of hard consistent ongoing work. 

If you want it, you will do it. 

That is the only secret. 

I 

Pumpkinman Half - My Race Report

For years I have heard what a fantastic race the Pumpkinman Triathlon is in South Berwick, Maine. However, until yesterday, I hadn't been able to race it. I have been missing out!!! This race is on my all time favorites list now.  If you can, add it to your schedule for 2014. I'll talk about a few reasons why as I go along.


After a restless night, I turned the clock around to see what time it was and since it was 2:54, I just got up. Yikes. That might be a record for earliest race morning! I was out the door by 3:20 and surprisingly, I felt fine. ( going to bed at 7:59 helped..)  I can't say I feel that good today! But yesterday, I was up and ready to roll.

I was off to this  race alone again. That's rare for me. My family is almost always there. But when I registered for these two Half Ironmans I've done in the past two weeks,  I didn't really process the fact that our boy's soccer seasons would be in full swing. I just forgot. But since I didn't really race this summer, it was important for me to get out there before I attempted to reach some big goals in Cozumel. Mark and the boys were 100% cool about it, so I kept it all on the agenda.  I was ok heading there by myself. Mary would be there. And, I knew I'd see others I knew. But still.... it wasn't normal for me.I like having my gang around!!!

You know, true friends do not grow on trees. I mean, think about it. True friends are different. You know what I mean.  One of my true friends was there for me yesterday, and for that I feel so incredibly lucky. This buddy of mine got up before 5 a.m. ( way before ) and drove nearly an hour to meet me during the wee hours to help me out. He didn't just show up at the start. He showed up 2 hrs before. Before big triathlons, there's a handful of things to take care of and a lot of gear to shuffle around. Mike helped me with all that. He carried my pump and pumped the tires, fixed a valve that wasn't working and held things I didn't need at the start. He was on the course cheering and taking photos. At the end, he had my husband on the phone so I could yell to him as I ran by. Then, he dropped that phone so he could help me run up this last nasty hill which I was dying. He met me at the finish for that finish line hug after a PR race. Pretty cool huh? That's a friend.  Thanks Mike. :)

Here's my race story--

As I said in my last post, I decided to take a risk & put myself in the elite category for this one. This race allows some Pros and age groupers to mix together. Our wave was the first to go off. I love being the first swimmers in the water! Nothing like space to swim!!

I made a plan to try to swim with my friend and Pro Triathlete, Mike Ciazzo. I have swum with him several times at a Master's group, and I can keep up with him. The men lined up in front and the women were all behind them. I stood Right behind Mike and was ready to go. THREE-TWO-ONE Go go go go go !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well... I dove in, got KICKED in the face, Goggles ripped off and boom, before I even took one stroke I was standing up again fixing my goggles. GREAT start, Ange!!  ugh. So much for that plan. Ok... I was fast to get back at it and let me tell you, for such a small group, it was ROUGH! Ironman starts are worse, but packed age group starts full of women only ( as are the normal conditions for me) are Much easier!!!!  Those men have strong nasty kicks. Thankfully, the group was small and I was keeping up. It was rough and there were kicks and swim-overs but finally I got off to the side and fell into a groove right next to a few guys. We all had white caps so it was tricky at first to determine if they were men or women, but I figured it out by the first buoy. I felt Amazing!!! And, I was having a blast. This was the most fun I've had in a swim in a Long long time. I was a swimmer first. That's where I got this racing bug...starting way way back when I was 8. But surprisingly, I don't usually enjoy the swim leg of races. There are a few reasons...but yesterday was different.

I was excited because I felt myself pull away from some women and also, I was really excited to be ahead of all but 3 or so men. Plus, this was the best part, I was truly stroke for stroke with one of the guys.  It felt like it did back in my swim team years. I swam day after day, two times day, with all my best friends back then. I'd go back and forth down the pool arm for arm with a few of them, and that was fun! It pushed me harder and kept me going. I had that yesterday. And I loved it.  I was in my happy racing place and feeling really grateful that I was given the chance to race with these guys.

I made it around the two loop swim in 26:03. I climbed out of the water just seconds ahead of the pack I'd been with.... giving me the 3rd fastest swim of the day.  A great start....

I'm the one on the left 

Next up with that Hill Climb--- ouch!!! It has it's own special Transition split and there are prizes for the athletes that scale it the fastest. Not me! haha.. I worked at keeping my HR slightly in check, even took a few walking steps, and just tried not to curse out loud. It was hard! I guess this little hill is even used as a ski hill in the winter at this place! No wonder it hurt to run up it after our 1.2 swim!

I was in and out of T1 in decent time. Off to ride.... you know... there's not a lot to say here. I saw those fast men fly away, a few others cruised up behind me and disappeared into the hills a few minutes later, and then... that was it. I was by myself. On the one hand, I was clearly happy the other women weren't catching me. On the other hand, I had to fight Hard to keep that race mode. I was  by myself on the roads. The volunteers directing us on the course were such welcome sights because it reminded me we were racing! Despite this, I pushed hard ! I really did. I felt stronger than I did at Rev3 and my watts were there to show it. I have to say,however, do I ever get bored out there... after about mile 30 or so... I just want OFF. Hmm... gotta work on that. I think I really fade a bit when that happens. The course was nice though. There are a few rough roads but mostly it was fun and fast. The winds were howling yesterday and I was pushed around the road a few times. There was one section that was flat and the wind Must have been at our backs because I was sailing.......... it was a blast. 30-31-33mph... fun fun stuff.

And then, the not so graceful & not so pro-like dismount.  Ah yes.... it was pathetic. I meant to take my feet out of my shoes... I meant to be ready. But, something distracted me and I didn't do it. So I got to the dismount line and fumbled around. I tried to whip my leg over the bike and I got stuck....on the bottles on the back. I nearly fell over. All while my buddy Mike and Kurt watched on. Both of whom were instrumental in teaching me how to do it properly and reinforcing why I should. Ooops... I was not impressed with myself. I growled and laughed at my typical gracefulness and moved on....

Bike split for the day 2:33. I was thrilled. These sub 2:40 rides are really really good for me.

Time to run... enough of this bike gear... I slipped on the shoes, changed glasses, grabbed my gels and watch and headed off. It all comes down to the run....

running out of T2

My shins were super tight.... but my quads were not and my Achilles was fine. (I have something wrong with it.... I don't talk about it but I'm definately having issues. I am always relieved when it feels good. ) I did see another woman ride into Transition as I was running out. Hmm.... ok.... we'll see what happens. She clearly out-rode me because I had a solid lead out of the water.

After about 1/2 mile or so, I noticed a bike riding Right in front of me. Yeah, if I wasn't racing a half ironman I would have noticed it earlier. I was in my own zone, I guess. I wondered why he was so close. Why did he keep looking back at me? Hey...he has a Pumpkinman shirt on.
"Are you my lead biker??"  I yelled out to him, incredulous.
Sure am!! You're the lead woman!
Ha! I knew I was in the lead at that point but I had a bike escort???
"Kat is so awesome!"
Seriously... this doesn't' happen to us 43 year old age-group Moms!! I was tickled. In Kona, there's a lead motorcycle for the man and woman leading the race. At some other big races, they have them as well and sometimes bikes too. But not for me! It was a fun few minutes...

Before that moment was over, I also came to aid station 1. Actually, I knew that was coming a good 1/4-1/2 mile ahead of time. The Berwick Field hockey team was in charge there and they were the BEST!!! They were screaming for me way way before I got there. So much fun.

Well, the next thing I knew, she was there. I heard the steps. Hmm... didn't I say this same thing in my last race report? Oh no, that time I heard the breathing because we were on a trail. Anyway, yeah, she caught me. Ms. Amanda Kourtz is one heckuva speedy runner I must tell you. I knew that heading into the race actually. She out ran me two years ago at the Rev3Oly. Actually, she has since gone Pro. She is a crazy fast athlete!!  I watched her run for a while. I tried to match her cadence as she pulled away a bit. I felt pretty good and while I was making an effort not to run too fast too early in the race, I was also letting the run just happen.

I ran and ran and ran. The turnaround seemed so so far away. The course was filling up with other athletes as this is a two loop run. I was no longer alone and that felt good.
Finally, we approached a small cul-de-sac that was the turn around. I think it was near mile 6. I saw Amanda running out as I ran in. I was pleased she hadn't put too too much time on me. I knew she was running faster, but at least I was hanging on. I was also anxious/ nervous to make the turn to see how close the other women were behind me.

I rounded the circle and realized, Amanda was Gone! She just took Off after that! Amazing.

Before too long, I saw Nicole ( a friend of mine ) and then a few of the other ladies making there way. I had to keep moving because they were right there!!

The problem was, I was entering that dark place. My legs were getting so so tired, I was tired, I felt sick to my stomach, I had horrible side stitch, I was realllllllly realllllllly tired. I didn't want to run anymore. I fought the urge to just Stop, with every ounce of my inner strength. I was having the it's ok, you dont' need to beat them talk in my head. The racing devil was sitting on both shoulders telling me why I didn't need to push so hard. He was telling me it was ok to let it go. It was ok to just walk and say hey, 'you're getting older. You can't always have a good day.' Oh that devil had had lots of sleep the night before and he was Pushing me!!!  I was fading.

I have no idea where I was or what my pace had slipped to but I got to an aid station, walked through it and grabbed a cup of Coke. I made the decision at that point to get my act together and finish what I started. I didn't race 64 miles as hard as I  could to back down with only 6 to go! Seriously?? Nope. Bye bye racing devil... I don't give up that easily.

There was a lot of pain involved. I felt horrible for moments and then I'd have times of feeling like a runner again. I had to dig so deep. I'm experienced and I know what to do out there, but the actual work does not get easier. It hurt. It still hurts today. My muscles were seizing, my stomach was revolting...

I just held on. I made the turn where it said:
LEFT for SECOND LOOP or RIGHT For FINISH

YES! FINISH Time!!!!  The support of the crowd was amazing all day. I had fellow athletes and family/ friends of athletes and volunteers all yelling to me "You can get her!" or " Great running ! Second woman!" All that good stuff.... it made me so happy inside. thank you guys. It really does help.

The final 1/2 mile or so was hard! I tried to stay strong up this really steep mountain ( ok, hill) that led us into the Spring Hill area finish. My quads were just on fire. Kurt was pulling out of a road and yelled, "let's go Ange. .. come on come on" and then Mike was just up a bit with the phone and said, "Mark's on the line! Yell to him!" So I said, "Hey Babe!!!! Save me a freeze pop!!" I know, strange, but I was dreaming of freeze pops and we have some here! :) Mike then clicked goodbye to him and ran with me up that sucker. I made a right hand turn...to the finish... except it was the wrong way! I weaved around the parked car and smiled as I finally saw the end.

Oh so worth it. All that pain, all that tough fighting, when you run down the Finisher's chute, you remember why you are out there and why you sign up for more.

The clock had just clicked to 4:39... GET IN there! I wasn't about to miss this chance now...

Yes... I hit the finish breaking 4:40 . A PR at this distance. The run was 1:36 which was better than Rev a few weeks ago. And I walked away with a nice 2nd place overall.

It was a good day.  I had to fight as hard as ever but it's always worth it.

Coming in to the finish 

Beautiful Fall Pumpkinman Finish line
Amazing Race Kat Donatello!!!! Thank you!!! 

2013- The year of taking risks

This is my 8th year racing triathlons. I am not counting the small one I did in college, the super crazy hard race in Camden I did back in.... 1992? I'm not sure when it was. I raced on my mountain bike that I used in College to get around to classes and generally had no clue what I was doing. It was also a Longer than normal Oly if I remember correctly-- not sure of the swim, 28 mi bike up some very hilly terrain ( on Mtn bike in sneakers!) and then a run ...8 miles? I might be making this up. I really don't know! What I do know is I had a buddy holding a towel up around me at T2 so I could Change my clothes!! Seriously. I might have even done that after the swim too.  Hmm...

Anyway.... I had done a few triathlons before what I now think of my official first race back in 2006.

What is my point? Forgive me, I have pre-race brain today. It's a gorgeous Saturday. The weather is perfect. It's sunny, warm but not hot, no humidity... ahh...
However, I am banished to the couch. Trust me. This is not a bad thing! I looked forward to it all week in fact. Oh the thought of getting up late, eating pancakes until I was stuffed, getting back into sweats/ pjs after my pre-race warm up workout and then Laying there all day quite lovely.  It's just that the reality of that is a wee bit different.  You know, it's that busy family with 3 boys thing.  I am at home laying on my backside with life happening around me  and it isn't quite as relaxing as I had envisioned. I'm making it happen though! I just finished my 2nd force yourself to eat lots of white food meal ( meal 1 is so yummy with too many pancakes but by meal 2, ick)  and had the TV on "inspiration station" and learned how to draw a very cute little lady bug.  {There is NOTHING on TV On Saturday afternoon!!} Also, I am a bit confused about why I feel so sleepy. I was in bed by 10:15 and got up at 9:00!! That is unheard of. I blame it on my laziness combined with loads of simple carbs. I'm not feeling super sparky at the moment!

Back to my point-- Risk taking!!
This is my year for that.  I didn't fully intent for it to start that way, but here we are. And that's my M.O. now. Here's why-- after 8 solid years in the sport, it was time to mix it up a bit. Try new races. Take on new competitors. Do my best in harder conditions in far away unknown lands. After all, that's what makes us stronger, right? Hope so...that's what I'm going with.
Let's see... I kicked off 2013 in March in  California! I went to Oceanside early in the season for a 70. 3. Training for that amidst our snowy ski season wasn't easy! But I did it, and I won our age group. Yes!
From there, it was onto a training camp with strangers ( now some new friends!) in Texas.

The biggest challenge to date, Ironman Texas. Brutal day. The environmental conditions were about as far away as those we see in Maine as I could get. Especially in May. I made it through and while I didn't log my fastest Ironman and a few problems were part of the day, I did get 3rd in my age group.  I walked away with my head held high and felt proud of overcoming some very tough  racing.

My summer was rather mellow but now it's revving up ( ha, no pun intended ) again. I had a blast at our local Norway Tri in July and then a 10K race with the Beach2Beacon early August. (those hurt... short stuff hurts!!)

But now, it's 'back to back' Half Ironmans. The Rev3 2 weeks ago was a good race for me. Tomorrow, I hope for a repeat. I'll head to the Pumpkinman Half (ummm... driving out of the yard at 3 a.m.!! ouch! Is that one of my risks? :) ) This one has a twist though.  I'm racing in the Elite division. At Pumpkinman, they allow some of us age groupers into that mix. I'm not a Pro but will be racing against a few of them. I'll also be racing a few fellow age groupers who are Fast and honestly, I'm not sure I've ever raced before.  It will be a tough fight!!!  I've had a rough week... personally and physically. I've had to work to turn my body back into race -ready fighting shape but I'm just about there. A few more hours of this chill-time and I'll be 100% ready to go.

I'll close this post out now since I clearly could babble on and on and as I lay here trying to enjoy my boredom.

Next up-- tomorrow's race report and then the plan for my final big risk taking adventure of the year!

ciao!

One of those days

It's not always easy. I'm not always motivated. Today is one of those days.

I have 3 amazing kids. I have a wonderful husband. I have a job I enjoy and I am very lucky to be able to work from my house and be with my kids most of the time. I love to train. I love to race. I feel healthy and strong. I'm lucky for sure and do not mean to whine... 

But... it's not always peaches and cream and I don't always spring out the door with a big smile on my face. 

Today is one of those days. Everything feels hard and I don't think I'm doing a good job at any of it. 

sometimes I want to curl up in a ball, so no one can see me because I'm so small.... to quote one of my favorite kid's books... 

Yup..today's That day for me!!!  However, I will keep trying. I am going to be more patient with my kids when they get home. Or... kid. The one I lost patience with this morning.... again.... seems to be an unfortunate stressful difficult trend lately.  Anyone write that manual for raising boys yet??? HELP! asap.... I'm a fish outta water some days I tell ya.....

And, Before that, I am going to go out on that bike and see what happens... the little power reading might be a little off today... this old body feels like someone took a syringe and sucked out all my good energy.  I need to get through a few tough training sessions in the next 3 hrs to prep for another Half Ironman sunday.  I need these workouts... so I need to snap out of my funk and get out there and do it. 

So here goes! I hope I can  later write that just getting out the door was the hard part. I'm going to try....