REV3 OOB Maine!

 It's been a quiet summer on the racing front for me. I kicked it off early and big with a Half Ironman in California in March then an Ironman in Texas in May. At that point,I  stepped back. Just a bit. I needed a break. I did toe the line at our local sprint, the Norway Tri in July. I had to push myself outside of my skin to win that race.. .sprints hurt when you're used to racing >70 + miles! It's a whole different level & kind of suffer to go that fast.  I also ran the Beach2Beacon 10K a few weeks ago... of course it was a road race not a Tri but it counts for a race!  And that's it... 

This race was  great on the one hand because it's in Maine and starts on a beach! Can't beat that....  

On the other hand, it was  tough for me because it was  the first day of Travel soccer games (2 of my kids in 2 different towns that are far from each other and very far from my race = sad), the weekend of my son's birthday ( just turned  14- eek!), and school is starting tomorrow. We are also still living out of our camp during the weekends which meant I departed our island at 3:50 a.m, on a boat,  in the dark, after navigating my way around the camp in the dark . ( No power there &  gas lamps only do so much at 3:30 a.m. when you're hurrying... ) As a result, the week leading to and the days before this race were  less than mellow and relaxing and I had to juggle all things family/racing to make this one happen.

In the end, we made it work. Cameron, my oldest, even decided to be my Sherpa!! How cool is that. He crawled out of bed way wayyyyyyyyy before his 14 yr old self wanted to and hustled around with me all morning. Also, my incredibly supportive parents {they have been attended nearly all my events since I was 8.. no joke... they are always there and supporting me!!} were on the beach for the start by 6 a.m. too. I was not alone even though my other boys and husband were off on the soccer fields.  

The nerves were there... but I was in control. I had no idea who I would be racing. I also wasn't too sure what to expect out of myself. My run has given me trouble this summer. I have a few things that are 'talking' to me right now... body parts needing a little extra TLC. In the past few weeks, things have come together though so I had faith and was ready to lay it all out there to see what I could do.   

Cameron and I walked to the beach and admired the amazing sunrise. It made me happy to see my teenage boy snapping photos of this.  I crawled ungracefully into my wetsuit (one of my least favorite things about this sport.. ) and made my way to the water for a long warm up. That was my plan anyway. A nice long swim so I'd be ready for the gun. I need a solid 1500+ wu when I train so I had intentions of trying to do that for the race.  

I'm disgusted to say, I'm afraid I've become a bit soft when it comes to the ocean. I am an ocean girl through and through. Growing up on the coast, it's my happy place. I would spend time on the ocean any day of the week if given the chance. That being said, I no longer swim it anymore. I live in the Lakes region and I have a camp on a lake. It's warm. And so now, I am a wimp. 

It was Freezing!!!!!!!!!!  

Seriously, my face Hurt it was so cold. The guy said it was "60" and I wasn't too worried about it but yikes, it was bad. I think I swam for ....  4 minutes? Yeah, good warm up Ange! Ha! I rationalized that I would make myself tight and too cold if I stayed in. It was better for me to get out and just stretch a bit. Right or wrong, that's what I did. 

That's me in the middle with my hands on my hips-- not sure what I was laughing about

Time to line up. Our start was at 6:40 a.m. An early one! I think my group was the 4th wave, but honestly, I can't remember right now.  I know that 2 groups of men were ahead of me. The 50+ and the 40-45.  The rest of the women were starting behind me. That's all I knew.  

As I ran in the water, I heard yells from a few friends. Thanks guys! I'm not sure who it was.. I know my buddy Mike MacDonald was there.  And I might have heard my coach, Doug Welling. Regardless, hearing the GO ANGELA was surely a nice  push as I dove in and started the long day. 

Two dolphin dives over the small waves and it was time to swim. I felt really good! The typical ache I get in my arms with my wetsuit on wasn't there. I felt myself pull away from my group with the exception of one girl. Hmm.. who is this?  Let's see what happens... 

I pushed pretty hard but after the first buoy, cut back on the kick and just worked my upper body. I caught guys ahead of me and wiggled my way through. The water was no way near as cold as it was close to the beach. Strange but I was happy. I did swallow a few giant mouthfuls but otherwise,it was smooth sailing.  The sun was in our eyes but the buoys were easy to see. Just a nice uneventful swim. I lost track of that one other purple cap so I figured I had a decent lead. Time would tell!! 

I swam right up to the shore when I got to the beach. Men all around me were running and running in So far!? It's so much faster and easier to swim all the way up until your hands scrape the sand.... little tip there.  Don't stand up in knee deep water and try to run in! 

{swim time 30:xx. A few min slow for me and slower than I thought it felt.  People said it was long .. times were off by ~3-4 minutes apparently, but who knows! it's an ocean swim so measuring a true 1.2 miles is tough. }

Ok, I was up. The tide was out and the beach was lined on both sides with supporters. I saw my Mom, Dad and Cam yell and I waved and tried to smile. I made the last minute decision to yank the wetsuit off at the road instead of running to T2 with it on.  

It's a Long run.. about 3/4 mi and it's on a hard sidewalk. I found myself running on my tiptoes and worrying about my calves seizing up....it was awkward. 

While I made my way ( sort of slow running at this point ) that girl passed me! Ahh! She WAS still there. She was still in her wetsuit so that's how she caught but still, no real gap between us. Ok, game on. 

Wait, she stopped!? She was a RELAY swimmer! ha.. alrighty back to my own fight for a while!  Good!

______

As I ran out of T1, I saw my friend Bob Turner heading in from the swim. We yelled to each other and I was happy I had been able to catch him in the swim. However, it was a matter of time...he's a machine on the bike!

Sure enough, just a few minutes into the ride, he came upon me.  We exchanged a few words and off he went. I Did keep him in my sights for a while, and then, he was gone. Hmm. Maybe he was just around the next corner. Maybe not. :) 

I rode pretty hard and felt pretty good. I was with the guys. That was ok for the most part. I went back and forth with a few. It's hard when you're evenly matched with someone. There was one person I would out-ride on all the 'flats' and he would overtake me on the hills. We went back and forth all day.  You have to be very aware not to ride illegally when this is the case. Staying more than 4 bike lengths apart can be hard when it's not a quick pass of someone slower than you. 

The ride was a bit hillier than I expected. The hills aren't steep at all, but you are climbing up long grades quite a bit. However, good speed was easily reached and I felt it was a fair & fun ride. 

Ok, I have to ask. Am I the only one who can't touch a gel without wearing 1/2 of it? It's like eating pancakes with syrup. No matter how careful I am, the fork is sticky.  Same with gels. I opened one around mile 30. I was stuffing the little top into my shirt so I wouldn't litter but meanwhile the gel is ooozing out of the other part. Now, it's on my hands. Then my bars. Then I wipe my face and now my face is totally stick. I rub my leg trying to get the wetness from my shorts to wash them but they're dry. Now my leg is sticky. I was a mess and it drove me crazy. Is it just me? Probably. 

I just lost focus for a few minutes while I dealt with that. I never saw another woman. I tried to keep the race mode ON even though there were miles and miles when I was alone. this is not training this is not training I was repeating as I was riding down a quiet neighborhood road. Finally, I was back with some men and the race feel crept back up.  That can be hard. I work hard and push myself alone all the time when training but racing is a different game. It takes a certain level of focus to keep that race-push up when you're by yourself.  

The thing I love about the 70.3 race distance is that the bike is ending just as you are getting sick of riding. I was ready to get off and run... let's move on and get this thing started! It all comes down to the run after all.... 

{bike 2:31-- fast time for me! However... the course is short. I think it measures @ 54.4 or so miles... doing the math, it was still nearly a PR for me at that distance so I'll take it. (well, except for Clearwater but that's an unusually fast course..I don't count it.) }

Running out of T2, I felt good! I was so happy to be on the run. I heard lots of cheers and saw my family! It's a fun start to a long run! Surprisingly, I hadn't even seen Mary all day!!! She was there racing the Oly but our a.m. starts were far apart so she likely arrived from her nearby summer place a lot later than I had. 

But then this: 

I love that my friend Jodi ( Bob Turner's wife- the uber fast bike I mentioned before ) , caught the two of us in one shot! Moments before this, we saw each other and waved "YAY!!! GO!!!" And all those other girly things two BFFs do when they pass each other in races. :) 

This picture makes us happy.  And we laughed... she was so relieved to be heading to the finish line and I was jealous! I had 13.1 to go and she had .1 to go... 

Time to put the head down and RUN!!!  

A few more waves and smiles in town and off I went. The legs responded and those nagging body parts stayed quiet. My effort felt easy but my pace was pretty quick. Good start...just the way I want it. I did some self-talk  and kept it real. I was 1 mile in with 12.1 to go.. keep things in check.  THe first 3 miles are mostly uphill. Long gradual climbing that allows you to keep moving along at a nice clip but have to focus a bit. At mile 3, the course turns onto a dirt/ rocky trail. At first, I loved it. It felt cool and easy on the legs and a nice change. 

However, we had 6 miles of this. Eventually, the trail opened up to full sun and those rocks, well they HURT me. A lot. 

Through mile 6 or so, I was cruising along feeling strong and in control. I hadn't seen any other women yet. I was Happily surprised by my brother and 2 nephews standing on the side of the road cheering too!! That was a great treat! Thanks Jeff!!!  People watching and at the aid stations were telling me I was in first. It was an out and back route and even the guys coming the other way were cheering me on as 1st at that point. That is a great feeling. 

As I got closer to the turn around, I was getting tired. My feet were hurting. I have had a neuroma forEver. It's nagging. Sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. But that day, it was there. It's my chronic foot 'thing' and I just deal with it. However, when it's a bad day, it's very distracting. It feels like a big hard ball of fire in my foot. If I squeeze my foot it helps a bit and if I take my shoe off, it's fine.  I couldn't do that. I had 7 miles of racing to go! The big rocks on the trail were like bullets I had to dodge with every step. Landing on them caused Very intense pain that was really messing with me. I was limping and trying really really hard to block it out. 

I made the turn. Moment of truth. Who is there and how much time do I have on this field? I wasn't in the final wave of women either, so, if someone was within 4 minutes, she was ahead. Alright...what am I up against? 

There she was. I had a brief flashback from Ironman Lake Placid 2011 when I turned and saw now Pro, Kim Schwabenbauer running towards me. This girl was young and quick. Her legs were turning over with zip and spark. She was running at me the same way Kim was that day... 

Oh oh...

A guy went by me. I had a choice....

Succumb to the fact that she was going to out- run me Or

Fight back. 

Are you kidding? 

I fight. I latched on to the guy who passed me. I knew I might blow up in 3 miles but how would I know if I didn't try. I ran with all my heart and just pushed. I was really tired. There's no other word for it. My legs were killing me. My foot was a ball of fire. But I was determined to hang on. Do not give up! That's the easy way to go. Fight back and make her work harder for it.  I'm not giving this away...  I watched the pace on my garmin drop from upper 7s to low 7s and better. After a few minutes the guy said, "Hey Angela... where are you from? "  

really? Idle chit chat? I was trying to breath Mr.! :) 

and yet, I answered him and asked him the same question back.  He was from Detroit! Long way to travel. He talked about how beautiful it was here. {I was laughing in my head... I was fighting for my race here and he was admiring the beautiful coastal marsh.} 

Then he said, "You're crushing it! Keep running fast!"  

Thanks! Yes! Let's GO!! 

I also thought about my friend and former coach, Jen Harrison. That woman is as tough as nails. She fights harder than anyone I know. I thought to myself, "Run Faster Run Harder like Jen!"  She inspires me. thanks Jen :) 

An aid station appeared.. it was time. Coke. I grabbed it and stopped for just a SHORT quick stop to get it in... and I lost my guy. Thanks for the pull though! Wish I'd caught your name!!! 

Well....a bit later.. not sure where we were.. around mi 8? I heard steps and breathing right behind me.. and knew it was a woman. I had been racing with men all day, I could hear the difference. 

She came up next to me ( damn ) and I said, "Great Run!!! Congrats!" and she said, with a certain tone I hadn't heard before but understood, "Oh you Too! You are amazing! Wow!" 

And at that point I realized.  I just experienced my first, wow you're doing this even though you're "old" comment. 

I had a big dark 43 on my calf and she had a big 28. Yup. I was 15 yrs older. I have a kid who is Nearly 15. She was shocked that this old lady almost beat her. hmm... not sure what to think about that one. Is that where I am now? Am I that lady? 

Off she went. I kept fighting and praying I would get Off that trail! Finally.. .mile 10 and we were back on smooth roads. phew. 

I made the turn and started the run back to town... ready to be done.  

I didn't have time to mess around. There was another woman back there too. I saw her when I made that 6+ mile turn. Just because young girl #1 flew by me didnt' mean me I was going to give up! Hellno. 

I pushed hard to the finish and nailed the run after all.  {run 1:36-- I think! need to check that again..}  

It was a good day!!! 

I finished up in 4:45 and 2nd overall female. I won my age group by about 35 minutes too so that made me smile.  

I really do love racing. Now, time to heal these aching muscles and get ready to do it again in 12 days!!! Pumpkinman Half up next!!!  

When I was a kid, summer was a huge endless block of time. I didn't think of it in terms of actual days or months. It was just "summer." School got out and we started playing. I'm sure there was more structure than I remember. I'm sure my Mom had swim meets to keep track of and packing to do to get us to Y camp. But in my mind, it was just unstructured fun. I have very fond memories of those years. We lived in a neighborhood with a dead-end road and bunches of friends to play with.  We'd "ride bikes" and build forts, we'd play kickball in the street after dinner and we'd have sleepovers all the time. I miss those days. I guess that's what being a kid is all about. Carefree living. In my head, I still want to be that kid. I want to play and have fun without thinking about work that needs to be done, who has what practice at what time and where, packing bags and doing laundry. I don't want to stare at the month of July on the calendar and think about the month of August and the short few weeks left before school starts. Yesterday, at a track meet we attended on our precious vacation ( insert sad face here...) , I was talking to another Mom about the frustration of our school district starting school before Labor day. Late August is still prime summertime in my eyes. The weather is better than June and there is still prime summer-fun to be had.  She told me that they have never sent their kids back to school until after labor day...even though it officially started on the calendar. Ha!! Love that. I'm not the only one out there hanging on to the good ole' days of just enjoying the short relaxed season that summer used to be.

Alright... enough on that.

What's been up?? Well... on the 4th of July I had the pleasure of running a 10K with my oldest son, Cameron. It was his first 10K. I was a proud proud Mamma.  This boy has recently developed into quite a runner. But 10K was far for him. He hadn't trained a lot because of a summer camp and other things.... so it was far. It was also very very hot and humid. However, he dug deep and did his very best and finished in 48:xx and an age group win! Not too shabby for his first go around at this hard distance!!! I had a blast.

Later that weekend, after spending two fun days out on the ocean on some ski friend's boat, I was home getting ready for bed. I walked across the living room floor and was Attacked by an evil pen. Yes, you heard me. A pen. I have this nice old pen that was engraved with my maiden name ( Angela Small ) for a HS graduation gift.  It's broken. It was on the floor. I have no idea why. Anyway, I stepped on the tip and it stabbed the arch of my foot. It hurt More than I can describe and it bled more than that. I nearly passed out from the pain of it. In the middle of the night, I woke in agony and drove my husband nuts moaning about the pain for at least an hour. In the morning, I was surprised when I put my foot on the floor and truly could Not walk. I couldn't bend the foot at the ankle, I couldn't move my toes, it was red and it was swollen. Not good. Antibiotics, a tetnus shot, and a few days later, it was somewhat better. I was patient. I couldn't run. Or bike. Or swim. Grr.....And then...
thanks to my healthy body ready to heal fast--- I ran an easy 20 min on Friday and decided I was ok and ready to go.  Just in time for a race.... the next day. :)

The Norway Tri was the 13th. It's always a fun day with a Triathlon right at home. I do not live in an area bursting with others addicted to this swimbikerun thing. This race was started a few years ago ( 7?) and it's been great. It draws beginners as well as strong competitors. This year, a few of my great friends even came to race!!!
I had to work my tail off for it, but I snagged the win that day. There's nothing quite like a sprint to keep you honest out there. After chatting too long in transition, I missed a chance for a warm up. So when the gun fires and you start swimming at 115% effort, it's a Shock to the ole' body!!!

By buoy #1 I was beyond my threshold. I took the next few minutes to settle down and try to catch up with my friend Steve's feet. I couldn't quite get there but I kept his arms in sight. I poured it on to finish up the swim and hit the long T run. After fumbling with my shoes as I tried to mount the bike on the Uphill start, I finally got rockin' and had a decent ride. Anne and Mary were hot on my tail so I kept my head down and pushed harder. I just crossed my fingers for the run. A week off doesn't usually leave me feeling too fresh or fast!!
T2 was pathetic. The speed laces were too tight so I fought with my shoes too long. I stepped on the heels and swore a few times. Finally, feet were in. But, out of the corner of my eye I could see Anne putting her bike on the rack. ( My friend Anne Wilkinson... fast fast and tough women ready to catch me! :)) I headed off and started the battle.
ooohhh.... nausea. I was Sure I was going to have to pull over to be sick. Yup. Gross. I know. I really never feel that way. But I was certain. It was over. My stomach was Not happy. Hmm...
Just keep running. Focus. You have no time to falter.

The run at this little sprint is tough!! You head out through trails that are easy to run on and then hit the road for a short stretch. Then you climb up a steep hill and into more trails. But these trails are uneven and grassy and very hilly! And, this day, very very wet and muddy.  I knew Anne was right behind me so I just kept moving the feet forward. Up up up and over the mud around the corner, up some more, jump! It wasn't your typical run. And, it's more than 5K. I'm not sure how much.
I was gasping for air and racing with all I had.  No self pity... no excuses. It's so easy to find 1000 reasons why you need to slow down during times like that. It Hurts after all!! It hurt a lot that day too.  But I decided I wanted it. I really did.  Around mile 2 or so (no idea where I was ) I felt things in my shoes that were not supposed to be there. Blisters. The fast running in wet shoes with no socks was haunting me. I knew it was bad...
Still... Go faster! I wanted the win.

As is the case with sprints, before things get too ugly, it's over. I crossed the line, smiled at my 1st place, and ripped the shoes off.   Four giant blisters I'm still dealing with, two weeks later. Oh well...they'll heal. :)

And that's that!!

Tomorrow I head to Lake Placid to cheer on our TriMoxie athletes, my brother, and a bunch of other friends.  I am excited for them and to watch.

But just last night it struck me. This one might be hard to watch. The last time I was in Lake Placid, I had the race of my life. I nailed that race.  I think of that day often as I train and as I prepare for more racing.  I'm sure the emotions are going to overwhelm me. I'm preparing for that... .

TriMoxie Training Camp 2103

Last week, seven TriMoxie athletes gathered in Paris, Maine for a small training camp.  While our small group traveled quietly on the hilly back roads of Maine instead of on athlete & vehicle crowded race courses, this group made a lot of noise. Each and every one of these athletes came ready to work.  When we were done, I closed the door to the house we rented and smiled. I knew I had a tough group, but these people all impressed me more than I could have imagined.

What did we do at camp?

We gathered as athletes, we talked things over and we trained. We bonded and developed new relationships.  As coach, I saw things from people that can't be seen through email or training peak's logs. I saw heart and soul and determination. I saw grit and toughness. I saw that these folks have what it takes. Whatever their goals, they will achieve. I believe it. And I hope they walked away believing it too.

Since then....

A surprise came in the mail for me the other day

I  just got back from a Field day with my 11 year old.  I have about 15-20 minutes before I head off to pick all the kids up from school. I decided to write a Quick post rather than try to jump into full -on work since I don't have too much time. I had a few specific photos in mind of things we've been doing lately, but I can't find them! So I just clicked and grabbed a few oldies but goodies.  Just for fun... no stories. 

Texas was 3 weeks ago. It seems like less than that. That day is still fresh in my mind.  I have moved on though. Am I disappointed in that day? Yes. Am I proud of that day? Yes. How can I be both??? 

I am.  It was a hard hard day, and I fought with all I had. I stayed on my feet ( barely...I admit to faltering and grabbing tables for support a few times) , I kept running, and I earned myself an award.  Could I have run faster? Yes... but not in air they said was 110 degrees with the heat index.  I started the run feeling good and running pretty fast. The other day I was talking to Mark about that. I moaned that maybe I shouldn't have Purposely slowed down on mile 2 because I was afraid of the heat. Maybe I should have held that pace as long as I could, no matter what. He quipped, "OH yea... and have a seizure? go into shock?"  Umm.. no.. of course not.....! , I would havebeen ok... I know my limit. And yet,  I really wasn't well after those 26.2 miles. I mean, 140.6 miles.   For whatever reason, my body didn't like that heat that day.  I had to do what I did... I had to slow down.  There was no choice.  And for knowing that, I am proud of myself.  

Was I fully ready and able to ride 10-15 min faster than I did? Yes. But hey, mistakes happen and I had mechanical issues. It happens. I will never ever start a race with loose bolts again. You can be sure of that. 

I was at the pool this morning.  I was about to push off the wall when the lady next to me said, "So.. how did  you do? "

The same group swims at my Y each morning. They ask questions about my races and what it's all about. I had talked about the Ironman in Texas. They've been around to hear about other races in the past too. 

I Smiled and said, "Pretty well. I ended up third." 

She said, "ohhh.. well first would have been better. Oh well." 

Seriously??? Did she Just say that to me???

I was stunned. And hurt. And, almost lost my cool. 

Instead, I replied, "Well....it was over 100 degrees, I did the best I could. And the woman who did win was from Panama.  So..."

I'm not sure if she said anything else. 

People don't really know what it's like out there. But even so, whether you're a kid or an adult, if you go out and do your best, and you don't win, it's OK!  Even if you've won before.  Damn.... so now if I'm not first in a race, it's not a success and I should hang my head? 

Uh uh... I am NOT going to teach my kids that nor am I going to torture myself with that pressure.  So... since 5/18 I have held some disappointment because I know I was capable of going faster. But I wasn't capable of going faster that day in those conditions, for a few reasons.  

I've made the choice instead to hold Strong the reasons I decided, while in the thick of it that day, fully aware of what I was going through, to be Proud. And I'm sticking to it. 

I've rested long and hard. I've taken a break. I've eased back into it. 

I've soul searched. And I've made a new plan.  

I'm not even close to being done.  

Like I said, I just felt like posting a few pics that make me happy.

Ironman Texas...the final hours

Ironman Texas 2013

Swim start 

I think that's me right in the middle...looking up in the pink cap

I find it remarkable how the brain works.... It's only Tuesday. It's a mere three days since my Ironman and yet some of the 'feelings' of my pain and suffering that day are already melting into the background of my mind. Proof of that is that despite the fact that I still feel nauseous, my quads and calves are aching with pain, I feel like I have someone else's skin on because my feet and legs are so swollen, and to make it all even more fun, I have been in tears on and off for 24 hours because of crippling back pain, I have been searching for some other  race to get myself into this summer.

Swimming through the canal on the final leg of the swim portion. That's me , closest to bottom

I have moments of thinking, "what happened? It wasn't that bad. Why didn't I keep my pace up??" But then, I look at some of the photos. And, that mechanism in my brain that has allowed me to 'forget' releases, shuts off, and I can literally FEEL those brutal hours again. I can truly feel it in my veins. And,it was, that bad. 

Cameron, Nick & Tommy-cheering me through the canal

Done! 1st age-- off to the bike

I'm not too sure I can put it into words.  Sometimes you just have to have been there and in the same body and mind but, I will try.

Finally, the garmin read 112 and I slid easily off the bike at the dismount line. Honestly, that line is almost as delicious as the Finish line.  I withheld the incredible urge I had to Throw the bike off to the side into a fence and instead, graciously smiled at the volunteer who took my bars and so kindly put it back into the bike rack for me.  For better or worse, I was OFF that bike.  I had seen Mark and the boys as I came to the line so I knew he was also happy I had made it.

Those first few minutes after riding 112 miles are... awkward. Your body feels contorted and unable to right itself. I even laughed out loud because a handful of us were hobbling our way to the bags.  I made a pit stop in a portapotty... finally.  It is a bit too much info, but when you know Ironman, you know that Needing a bathroom during the ride is KEY! IF you don't, you have a problem.  I did need one..... I just had "stagefright" out there so I had to stop in T2. I figured I had been hydrating well for the past 5+ hrs because I  had needed that bathroom for about 85 miles!

Into the tent and again, I was blessed with 4 or 5 Great women to help me. Seriously, THANK YOU  volunteers!!!! I did say it to them at the time.... There we are: tired, cranky, sweaty, & stinky while we snap "commands" at them. I TRY so hard not to do that but... it's what we're doing!  "Can I have my visor, my glasses, the socks, no wait, the gels! " One thing after another ..... They all helped me get myself put together, one lady told me I was top 12 amateur.... ... ok... game on. I stood there for 5 seconds and just thought, "woah... what's about to happen." Then, I headed out.

Here's where it gets blurry and well, just long.

I felt ok as I started..... I had a goal for this run and I know it was reasonable. That is, before the mercury rose and the humidity rose and the farmers in Mexico started burning crops and blowing smoke into Texas.
Plan adjusted--- My goal changed and I decided to "run 8s all day long." Very doable... I thought.

This is a 3 loop course. And, it's Not hilly. At All.  The 3 loops seemed like they'd be a good way to 'break it up." Instead, it was pure torture.  For me anyway. The signs read things like this: Mile2 and next to it Mile 11 or 18.  But when you're on loop 1 and mile 18 is SO far away, well, it was torture. I tried not to look.

The first few miles felt Easy. My effort was totally easy.  My pace... low low 7s and it even dipped into upper 6s... so I backed off. No matter how easy that felt, it was too fast to start a HOT Ironman run. That would be foolish.

I hit the aid stations... and stopped. Half on Purpose, half involuntarily. My body just Stopped. I dumped ice in my shirt, drank perform and a sip of water, poured water and then, put ice In my shorts. AH! I didn't mean to! I had changed in T2 to be dry to avoid the chafing... mistake. And then, my shoes got wet. So, from about mile 2 I was soaked. Head to toe. Alright... put it out of your mind and just run Ange, just run.

It gets a little blurry here.....but it was only a few miles later when I started feeling reallly reallllllllllly bad. It's hard to describe it... I was sinking into a dark place. And I had too far to go to let that happen.  My calves were cramping... so I took a salt. I started doing that .... every several miles or so. I carried my EFS flask and started in with that.... it went down and eventually, I had taken it all. I was making my way around the first loop when I hit the Waterway section. I think we entered that part around mile 5 and then wiggled our way to mile 8 until we started back out on the big loop again. THe point is, it was a chance to see the family twice. I ran down one side of the canal and kept my eyes out for them. After a bit, I saw them. Tommy's Bright yellow shirt. ahh.. yay... support!  My heart smiled but my face did not.

yes, this is at the Beginning of the run... ouch

And.. I must note... I have ice, gels, salt tabs and who knows what else stuffed all through  my clothes here.... hence all the odd bumpiness  :) 

They were way across the "river" but they were yelling and waving and all that great stuff. I thought I gestured, but, Mark said he knew at that moment. I wasn't quite right. I held on so hard until I finally got TO them. Instead of running along and giving my smiles and high fives like I do with the kids, I stopped and grabbed them, one by one and gave them each a Kiss. I told them: " thank you guys. I need you. Give me a kiss."  Then, I stopped at Mark and whispered, "I"m struggling." He knew already.  He said something that made me feel a bit better, and off I went. It's not like I had a choice. I had to go on.  Of course.

My boys.... a moment of strength...

 I ran a bit further and saw someone who looked familiar from pictures, Sonja!? I yelled her name and it was, Sonja Weick! She grabbed me for a hug and said, "Ange! Keep your head up and you Drink and you Eat!!"
Yes... I can do this!

The air was heavy. And thick. And it felt So hard to breath!! I had already stopped looking at my watch. Damn. I did Not want it to be this way! My fitness was there, I was ready, but the air, it was suffocating me.

I stopped at all the aid stations for at least the first 8-9 miles. I did the same routine: ice, water on head, more ice, perform, water, maybe a salt, maybe some gel.

The good news... I was running. After every aid station, I ran. I didn't run fast, but I ran. My pace was slowing and I knew it but there wasn't anything I could do. I kept repeating to myself, "just keep going just keep going...."

Everything was slow. People all around me were walking. Shuffling.  Because of that, I got these comment, " NICE pace!!!! You go girl! Woah! Looking STrong!" And sometimes, I looked around to see if they were talking to me because believe me.... I did not  feel strong or in control of my run whatsoever.

There was even ONE fast brief moment of, do I need to stop? ha... no. I would never stop. I couldn't!

And then... around mile 9  or so? I'm honestly not sure, I decided I would FEEL BETTER! I was sick of feeling sick. Sick of being slow!! I wanted to get this race done. I ran faster.... I think. I felt faster. I rallied and damnit! I was going to make it and finish this thing off with a good hard run!!

Things were looking up. I made it onto the Waterway again and say the gang and this time my Aunt and Uncle too!! I waved and smiled and was excited to show them how much better I was!!!!  Yay!!!

Meanwhile, I had NO idea where I stood in the race. I knew I had passed 2 or 3 girls out of the tent so I thought I was top 10 amateur. Good.... but what about my age group? I knew the competition was fierce down there so I kind of figured I was out of it that day. But I kept checking calves... hey WTC... time to get some permanent markers or some type of body marking that Lasts through the swim and the salt of our sweat.  No clue who was what age out there.... no clue at all....

I was doing better, but I still had to make some stops. It was insanely hot and the air was thick with moisture. I had to be careful. I had to check my ego at the door and finish this things as well as I could, while being safe. I am, after all, a Mother.  My run split didn't matter as much as finishing without causing dangerous heat illness or worse. I kept dousing myself with water and ice and taking salts and drinking. Over and over and over. A few times, at those aid stations, I wobbled. I bumped into things. I was asked, "are you ok??"

Hell yes! I'm fine.  ( so I lied....I was brainwashing myself too... it must be done sometimes! )

Only 8 miles to go. Or was it 6. IT felt like forever... I had to do that whole loop.... again....

With 5 miles or so to go, I found this guy, Jeff. We  had met on Thursday while out riding.  We had chatted and I discovered his goal was around 9:20!!!   But on Saturday, I passed him on the run.  It was a tough day for so many of us.

All I  know at that point, is that I kept running. Barely. I started feeling like I might throw up. My hands were starting to tingle.And my legs, they were cramping.I write those words and they're just words. The feelings that went with those words are so much more intense. I can't put that onto this page. Only I can feel them. However,I  kept running. I wanted to see that finish line. I knew my huge PR day was gone.... I had blown it.  Well, I had blow that part. . But,  I had also accepted that. I signed up for Texas because I wanted a challenge. I have raced Lake Placid twice. Maine's "local" Ironman with a climate that matches our climate. I have nailed that one. So, time to see if I could take on something else.  Not only is it hotter and more humid in Texas, it's in May. I hadn't even had our Maine summer yet to acclimate even a bit.  Because of this, I had to suck it up out there and completely avoid feeling sad or sorry for myself. I was hanging on and I was doing my very best, on that day.  I was fit and strong and because of that, I didn't completely crumble. I had trained hard and trained smart and Doug had prepared me well.  I was weakened by the humid heat and smokey air,  and I faltered, but I also held on and dug deeper than I knew I could. For that, I will be stronger forevermore. For the rest of my lif, I am a stronger person.  I know in my heart more than before, that if you throw something tough at me, I will fight my way through it.
And ultimately, I decided that I would feel even happier and prouder of myself that day because it was so brutal and tough. It probably would have been easier for me to stop and quit. Or to walk at the very least. But, I didn't. The PR and fast time I had dreamed of was ticking away, I was watching it go by every mile, but I held my head up for myself and for my kids because, after all, I was still running.

My"see you at the Finish" wave! 

The last few miles were both glorious and torturous. I was not feeling well. I made a plan in my head:  I would finish, say hi to my family, tell Mark I was ok but that I needed some cooling and TLC  so I would go to the Med tent. I kind of knew it, before I was even at mile 23. I knew something wasn't quite right.   I passed into the Waterway and was greeted with HUGE cheers!!!  I was running... and the crowd praised me for it.  I waved a big wave across the canal to the boys and said, "See ya there!!! " ( the finish... I was almost at THE FINISH!!!)  I felt like I was crawling but I kept moving. Up, around the small hill to the aid station at 24 ish miles...I stopped and grabbed the table and stood under a hose. Then, I kept going. Up and around and to another aid station.. mile 25.xx now... I stumbled.  They almost grabbed me. Nope... I had to go... time to finish.

I made it!

still holding my "cooling towel" that I wore for 10 miles on my back

More happy kisses! 

A girl sprinted by me with only a few 100 yards to go... I didn't even care.And yet, I did strain to see her calf. All set... I saw a 2.. she was in her 20s.  Go ahead young one... I'll be there in a minute....

I think I ran a little harder down the road, around the corner, and up the little hill to the arch. hallelujah!!!!!!!!
I MADE it!!!

10:47, 3rd age group, in the  top 10 amateur women

I smiled, Raised my arms as much as I could and hit that line. Ahhhhhhhh.....


Under 11.... good..  10:47.  I'll take it.

love a good swim start photo

The boys enjoyed a water slide at a nearby pool while I biked for a few hours. So glad they found some relief!!  

after the race: 

The awesome volunteers grabbed me and I held on. I was ok... I thought. I caught my breath, told them to hang with me a minute, and we walked. I started to feel worse... so I accepted the wheel chair. I thought I could just sit a minute and I'd be just fine. I saw Mark above the crowd ( so helpful to have a tall husband in these situations :)) and told the people helping me that I wanted to talk to them but asked if they could please stay with me.  At that point... I knew I had to put that plan into action. As I stood up and hugged my family and thanked them all, things started spinning. My face was tingling. It just felt wrong.... 

I whispered to Mark that I had to go get checked out and told him to hang close by....

She wheeled me down the street and I started to get a little nervous. I really didn't feel well. 

I guess I want to make this brief--- I went into the "triage" part of the tent and joined the many others looking  horrible and sick.  I sat in a chair and tried to stay calm. But, I wasn't. My hands were numb and tingling but then they started contracting and contorting. I couldn't control them. My face felt funny. The worst part for me, was that my speech was slurring.  This scared me.  The guy helping me was very calm and consoling. My BP was very low but my temp wasn't too high.... that part was good.

They moved me inside to a cot, covered me with ice bags and towels, took off my wet shirt and put my dry finisher's shirt on and covered me with a blanket. I started to shake.  I was given lots of things to drink including about 4 cups of chicken broth. ( ick) But, it did help. An IV was hooked up. Before too long, I was OK! phew.  I could see straight. . My hands relaxed.  My speech was fine again.  They drew blood and determined my calcium and potassium were low. My BP was low. My body temp had dropped a bit.  I am not sure, but the suspicion was that I overdid it with the salt tabs. I had an electrolyte imbalance for sure. I guess I spent a few hours in there but by the time I left, I felt a Lot better and was so grateful for the very very kind people helping me. I had several doctors, a nurse, and a PT. All people there on a volunteer basis. One man, a cardiologist, said he was watching the race from his house along the course. He was watching and feeling the heat and decided he needed to come in to help.  Good souls.  We needed them. I was on a cot next to a guy from Chicago. Once we were both feeling ok, we sort of laughed at us northerners for signing ourselves up for this !!!  And yet, while I was in there, I saw three of the people  got to know at the Training camp last month. All three live there... and they needed the help too.  That speaks to how very hot it really was. 

I was released and back with the boys and that's when I finally asked, "Hey Mark? What place was I anyway??" 

Third. He looked at me cautiously.... he knew....

Third???!!!!  I was stunned. shocked. Amazed!  Thrilled. Sure, only two Kona spots. There have been some twinges of disappointment for sure. My plan for the summer is a bit lost now... 

BUT....  I got 3rd! I can not be sad about that!!! I kept moving and made it through despite brutal conditions so I am now home & in pain but very much satisfied with the way it all turned out.  

Now it's time to figure out What's next!!!   Time will tell.....