Ironman World Championships-2016

The Road that never ends leads to a day that's gone in a Flash. 

Training for an Ironman is all encompassing. It isn’t done on the periphery of your life. It is your life. No matter how hard you may try to put it aside for a day or two, it is always with you.  It’s a way of life.  It’s a lifestyle I love but one that I couldn't wait to be over. It’s something that I thrive on, it energizes me, and yet, I longed for October 9^th this year with grand illusion. Because  now that October 14th is here, I continue to feel mournful. It is done. It is wonderful and terribly sad to me all in the same breath.  Time will cause this to pass. So I will wait for that.  In the meantime, I continue to process the past 7 years since my first trip to race on the Big Island of Hawaii in 2009.  

The Ironman Wall-- all athletes racing are listed here on a giant wall outside the host hotel next to the pier where the swim starts. 

 Here is my story from the 2016 Ironman World Championships. 

Before I raced Ironman Mont Tremblant in August, we had decided that if I qualified for Kona, it would be a different trip than in 2011 and 2014 when we took our family of five for full vacation. Our boys are now in High School and Middle School and knee deep in academic work + sports teams so despite their disappointment, it wouldn't be fair to take them away from their busy lives.  We were lucky and the kids were lucky that both my parents and Mark's parents were willing and able to come stay with them to help us while we traveled. In addition, my life long friend Mary (since 4-5th grade?) , who is also co-owner of TriMoxie Multisport Coaching and fellow Ironman athlete, was able to fly out with me for several days before Mark joined me!

Mary and I enjoyed our time together on race week. She had just raced and crushed Ironman Maryland on Saturday and grabbed HER Kona spot for 2017,so being on the island got her excited for next year.  As someone who understands this race & also knows me inside and out, she was a calm friend who helped me along all week.  It was really special to have that time with her.  

We swam with the fish off the pier each morning. We had swim instruction and motivational talk by the extraordinary Karlyn Pipes. We ate at Lava Java!  Oh that first giant mug of coffee on Tuesday morning was the best. Look at this food! ( Ok-- this was post race. Note the giant cinnamon roll that mark and I split. ) 

We sat on our lanai and relaxed with this view. Seriously, Hawaii is stunning.  But.... more to say on that soon when I get to the race portion of this. 

 Thursday of race week is the famous annual UPR---Underpants Run.  It's a tradition that started a long time ago mocking the silly way many triathletes don next to nothing and strut about town like it's normal. ( Yes, many still do this! And yes, I laugh at them. ) 

 Here's a view of the 'race' this year. ( 1/2 mile easyyyyyyyyy jog around Ali'i drive. Not really a race. ) Mary and I didn't participate but I DID create little TriMoxie bikinis to wear as if we were participating. ( Instead, we jumped in the water and enjoyed a quiet swim over the corral watching the pretty fish, I mean-- getting race ready :), while the 1000s of others did the UPR.) 

 The back of the suits have our name and TriMoxie written on it.  Not sure these will be worn much in Maine, but whatever. They were fun that day. 
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Friday morning, like a light switch, my mood changed. This is normal.  I have to shift into 100%race focus.  The reality of what's to come in 24 hours is a bit daunting.  The race in Kona is different than other Ironman race.  You are racing with the best of the best. All of them.  While there are a few spots handed out via lottery and ebay (what?? I learned this the other day.  5 ebay spots. Ugh.) and via a few other situations I'm not entirely familiar with, the Large majority of the racers there are people who either placed 1st or 2nd and in some age groups with a higher percentage of racers that day, 3rd/ 4th in their age groups at other Ironman races around the world.  The world.  The men and women that show up to toe the line in Kona mean business. I have raced a lot and feel quite secure about my abilities but I'd be lying if I didn't say that it is somewhat intimidating.  I knew I had my work cut out for me.  

I took the obligatory pose-with-bike photo as I walked to rack the bike in Transition Friday afternoon.  This is a big deal in Kona.  You wait in a long line, then you walk down a carpeted stretch lined with photographers and bike/ magazine reps who tally each number of Bikes / helmets/ components and then you'll find this data in Triathlon magazines etc soon.  Then you get your special M-dot sticker to place on the frame. And then you are escorted to the spot you rack your bike and hang the bags.  It's fun and gets your energy up for the race the next morning.  

Race day: 

I was up at 3:30 (without the alarm needing to go off!! ) eating my pre-race meal (not that yummy... strictly for the importance of the calories and nutrients ) & then the 3 of us were out the door by 4:15. After our short drive to town and a quick good-bye hug to Mark and Mary, I was walking to the back of the King K hotel to wait in line for the body marking process.  It was still dark, some are wearing headlights, and for a giant crowd of athletes in one small space, it was  very quiet.  We filed into the secure No-bag area and start the process. 
First, they wiped our shoulders ( rubbing alcohol? ) so the numbers would stick better. Into the next section and we're corralled to the area with our number. Back in 2014, my race number didn't stick to my arm. I had to go to "corrections" to get it redone.   It felt like a bad omen. And on the island of Hawaii, these feelings are real.  You don't mess around with the karma of  Madame Pele. This time however, my number  went on smoothly. (In fact, I still can't get it all off! ) 
I was feeling calm and at ease and I had a big smile on my face. I thanked volunteers, smiled for the giant cameras and just moved through the stages of check in.  Next was the weigh in (in case we end up in Medical at some point.  If our weight is higher than we started it's a sign of hyponatremia, for an example of why they do this ) & after that,  we're on our own. I walked off with my bags, took a deep breath and let out a big  'Time to relax now Ange' sigh to myself,but out loud.  
A woman walking next to me, turned and said, "It'll be ok. The sun will come up and the sun will go down. We just do the best we can do today." 
I smiled and turned my head toward to her. 

It was Natasha Badman. Six time Ironman World Champion. 

Wow. 

Another, even better, good omen for the day!!! 

I chatted with her for a few  moments and told her I loved that she was there again and wished her a great day. She is 49. Total badass. 

Kona swim pier as the sun rises. 

The next hour was spent pumping my tires, standing in line for bathrooms, laying on the hotel floor visualizing the day,  chatting with women I have met over the years from racing around the country, and getting ready for what I had prepared to do for so long. 
It was time to race. 

The feeling during that final hour is exciting and scary and overwhelming and energizing all at once. When we get close to the start time, I stop thinking about the magnitude of it. I focus on the small current moments.  I draw inward. I am not worried about the 140.6 miles. I know that distance very well. I know I can tackle it. Instead, at 6:45 a.m. I am thinking about where to position myself in the water. I think about certain specifics of my swim stroke to remember to focus on. I look for athletes I know, and want to beat.  It's all business now. I dont' think of it as the World Championships....but rather  just my race day. I was prepared as well as anyone and I earned my way to that starting line so I entered the water with full confidence to do my best. No self-doubts allowed.  My game face was on. 

The pro men started at 6:25. The Pro women at 6:30. The Age group men at 6:55. A huge portion of the field started way ahead of us.  This turned out to be more than good space on the swim. It had a true impact for me later.  

First, the swim. 2.4 miles. 

An aerial view of the swim start. The land on the top of the screen is the transition area where our bikes are racked.

Assoon as the age group men started, we were allowed down the stairs to swim out to the start line. It's ~300 yards out and there we wait for 15 minutes. As more and more women enter the water and swim to the line, it gets increasingly crowded and stressful.  We aren't wearing wetsuits, so we need to tread to stay afloat.  But with very limited space ( we are all touching ) it's hard to use your arms and legs to do this. It's not a good time.  It's Better now without the men there too. It used to be very very scary. Now, it's 'ok' but still very uncomfortable and stressful. After tolerating a crowded spot for 10 min, I could see there was open space to my right so I moved. For some reason, there was a clear spot on the front line and I took it.  Perfect. 

Pre-dawn shot of the surfers ready to hit the water to guide and protect us.

 The moment had come. The surf boards cruising back and forth in front of the us to keep our line from sliding too far forward, swiftly turned and faced the sea. They perch on the end of their boards with the board facing out -- that's the sign to us  that it was time. Countdown from 30 sec and suddenly the gun blasted. 

Go time. I took off and swam very hard. Typically, I am able to pull away and maybe 1 or 2 other women come with me. This time, I was not alone. I had company. And when I looked back on a breath, I saw a pack. Many fast women were all pushing forward together and even though I knew it would be that way, it was an immediate reminder of just how tough the competition would be.  

pre-race scene--boats/ boarders starting to take their positions

The water stirring with boats and boards before the race began. 

I found a spot and just swam hard. I had decent space and was right on the buoy line. I've had a few overwhelming experience at this swim start with true fear, but there was none of that. I focused on my stroke, tried not to gulp too much sea water and did my job.  
Finally, I made the turn at the half way point-- the Body Glove boat we swim around before turning back for the second half.  We are 1.2 miles out in Kailua bay at this point. It's pretty crazy. The water is glowing blue, a few fish scatter around and if you're lucky you may see dolphins. I checked my watch and was at :30 min. On target.  
The water wasn't too rough this year. But there were occasional large swells that throw off the rhythm and certainly slow the pace as well. I felt strong.  However, I had two issues as I swam the final mile. My goggles were tight, of course, and the left eye piece was Absolutely killing me. I felt like it was digging into my brain. It hurt. This happens to me on the IM swims.  I was totally distracted by it-- swimming with my eye closed and squeezing it to try to alleviate the pain. Finally, without really planning it, I stopped and lifted it up for a quick break. Ugh.  I hate to stop and lose my spot with the women I was pacing with but it happened.  And, of course that loses precious time.  And it didn't help. It was bugging me. I swam hard and caught the girls I'd been pacing with. Secondly, there was a women who was drafting off me, which is totally legal and normal and OK. But, she grabbed my feet EVERY SINGLE STROKE and I was completely agitated by it. I would occasionally kick SUPER hard and try to shake her or I'd swim a little Left  to lose her and I even stopped a couple times to try to get ride of her. To no avail. She drove me nuts. Big time. 
The swim went on forevvvvvvvvvvvver. I grew quite nauseous and thought I might get sick. Maybe I ingested too much sea water? I was desperate to see the pier.  I grew a little cranky and lost some umph. And yet, this is Ironman. Each leg is very very veryyyyy long. I was just starting the day so I just put my head down and kept the faith. The faster I go, the sooner I get there.  

Finally, I could hear the drums. I could hear the announcer. I saw the pier up close, the water grew more shallow and the swimmers around me were all funneling into a small space. Eyes fixed on the stairs out of the water. I swam hard, hoping for a good time.  

1:01.  5th in age group after the swim.  

Not bad.  I hoped for a 60 min swim but this was right in the range.  A few min slower than Ironman Mont Tremblant  which is a lake swim with a wetsuit (faster ) was reasonable and solid.  Especially with the swells and my 2 quick stops. 

I ran up the stairs, slipped & fell a bit ( typical ), turned back and looked at the woman who had been grabbing me for 2.4 miles ( couldn't help it ) and moved on. Through the hoses with a quick rinse on my face and into the tent.  Quickly---- dry face, sunscreen, helmet, glasses, socks, grab gels/ bloks and stuff in shirt,shoes......Go.  

I ran with a very tall and 'big' strong woman into the same bike row as me. Yikes...she was in my age group. Alright.... just do it, Ange. Just race. 


As I said earlier, Hawaii is simply beautiful.  But let me tell you, the bike course in the Hawaii Ironman, is Not beautiful. Sure, there are a few spots when you can look out to the sparkling bright blue water with clean white waves crashing. That is beautiful. However, that only happens a couple times and then it's gone.  
For the most part, it looks like this: 

It's a desert of lava rock. The course is a true beast.  If you see a snapshot of it on TV or in pictures, it's hard to capture the true nature of the roads. Heat, wind and hills are the story of the 112 miles on the Queen K highway in Kona.  

I can hold my own on the bike but it is by no means, my strength in Triathlon. I'm not sure how some women get to be SO FAST on those two wheeled rigs but I much prefer to power myself down the road on my own two feet.  That being said, I trained hard and I trained thoroughly.  I also had a number of last minute challenges to deal with to make sure the bike itself was in good condition and ready to ride fast.  ( See my last blog post ...  ) A mechanical issue is the last thing I want to deal with during an Ironman.  

I climbed the hill out of transition and immediately heard 'a noise.'  What??? Immediate anger filled my head.  I tried to ignore it and settle in. The first 10 miles are chaotic.  We wind our way back and forth through the town. People are jockeying for position ( silly )  and riding without concern for how close they are to others or whether they pass on the R or the L. Spectators are everywhere, which is Awesome, but some cross the street without looking while we are riding at them at 20-25mph. Scary. I thought of Amber and took care.  I rode easy to get my HR settled and found the source of the noise.  It was a small cable getting hit by the crank on EVERY pedal stroke. Harmless yet annoying to prepare to listen to for 112 miles.  

I climbed the last section with support before heading out onto the Queen K for hours and hours, and was happy to spot Mark and Mary!!! I blew them a kiss and took the Left onto the 'real' part of the ride. Deep Breath. Time to get tough.  

I had a plan and I was determined to stay true to it. I wanted to ride strong, but smart. I know this course. It's tough and can eat you alive and spit you out in T2 UNable to run a strong marathon.  My plan was to ride smart  so that I could run.  

Two years ago, the winds of Kona were on full force.  They were intense and unpredictable. They chucked athletes off their bikes and onto the pavement. I was angry and bitter and possibly swore a bit at Madame Pele during that ride. 

Bad idea. 
Very bad. 

You can choose to believe or not to believe in the force of the Hawaiian Islands.  As I began my fourth round on that race course last week,  on Madame Pele's turf, I was a believer.  

Madame Pele is the Goddess of Fire, lightning, dance, Winds and Volcanoes.  According to Hawaiin mythology, she is the creator of the land. She is to be respected.  Trust me. 

I was conducting myself with respect for her and as I rode towards Mauna Kea (a dormant volcano and sacred mountain peak on Hawaii. From base to summit it's 33,000 ft--surpassing Mt Everest in size.)  I kept a smile and thankful thoughts for the creation of these beautiful islands and to be awarded a spot in this legendary race.   Respect. Do not show anything but respect because her power is not a myth. You can chuckle, but when you're race in Kona more than once, you will not chuckle about this ever again. 

As they did in 2014, the headwinds picked up around mile 20-25.  My power wasn't where it should have been and my speed took a downturn as the winds grew.  It's ok. It's ok. I just kept the faith and tried to be smart. 

I'm not entirely sure what happened on my ride. Slowly but surely I am beginning to think about it.  It was not my best day. I have felt some consolation in the fact that many other athletes also appeared to have slower than typical ride times. Most did in fact, and that helps. But that day, I didn't know this. I just had my own computer to stare at. And more than once, I almost turned it off. 

The average temp was 94 according to my computer. The max was 102.  I did a heat acclimatization protocol in the sauna for a few weeks before leaving Maine and I tell you, it worked. The heat was real and I was constantly cooling, but it truly did not bother me. I felt comfortable and 'fine' despite the high temps. 

My legs however, they just didn't have it on that bike.  Was I trying hard enough? Was I just being lazy? I kept doubting my effort.  My head was all over the place.  Or maybe, maybe I wasn't really fully recovered from the Ironman 6 weeks prior. I  had an amazing race back on 8/21 and maybe a repeat for this 46 year old girl, less than 2 months later, was a bit much to ask?  I felt like everyone was passing me. It was discouraging. Everyone else seemed strong and fast and their cadence looked much higher than mine as they rode by. WHY wasn't I moving???  I was not usually that far behind. And I realized later that the spread out start times between the pros, men and then us women so much later, caused the course to seem emtpy to me and then caused my head to think I truly was just far behind most. 

The winds were strong. The hills never ended.  I tried to keep my attitude in check. I tried.  I smiled when I could. I took in the beauty when I found it. I was trying. Keep the faith. Keep the faith.  Just keep going.  

An occasional "cheat pack" rode by.  You know, multiple riders together drafting illegally. Drives me insane.  I was please to ride by penalty tents and see at least a few of the offenders standing in there serving time.  But also, resting before passing me once again. 

I turned in Hawi for the ~60 mile mark and while I smiled, I also felt sad. My pace was way wayyy off.  My power was off. I grabbed my fresh bottles from special needs ( had been frozen so they were still a bit cool when I grabbed them ) and kept the faith that the way back, would be better. 

We had just climbed 18 miles to Hawi and in theory, the decent should be fast. But, the winds are fierce. Crosswinds mixed with headwinds mixed with calm.  On my climb UP to Hawi 30 min ealier, I watched a big strong Guy get WHIPPED off his bike and hit the pavement when a sudden wind gust caught him. Boom. Just like that he was down. Shit. 

At the end of the day, I'm first and foremost still a Mom of three. I have also felt what it's like to HIT the pavement. So, I rode with caution down that grade. Did I lose some speed? Maybe. But I remained intact. Mom first. 

Mile after mile. I drank, I ate, my stomach was fine, my body temp was fine despite the hot air and yet my head was suffering. I am tough and I can fight the mental demons as well as anyone. But on the last 30-40 miles of that race, I was struggling.  I didn't travel half way around the world and leave my boys behind to race poorly. Was I trying?  I felt pretty deflated and sad as I watched the time tick on and the miles Crawl along. The wind was just relentless. Headwinds and hills. Headwinds and hills. Constantly. The wind howled in my ears. You can't hear anything but winds. 

The never ending Queen K highway............ 

I can't sugar coat it. It wasn't a good point of my day. I was low and fighting.  This is Ironman. The ups and downs are massive.  While the day may end well, it's rarely without big struggles before you get there. With 140.6 miles of racing-- there are always stories along the way of what it took to get there. 

I never swore at Madame Pele but I did curse myself a bit. I didn't cry. But I thought about it.  My time was way off. When I pushed to the power I was capable for holding, my body fought back. My heart rate was up but my power was low. And, dare I say it? At times, I stopped caring.  It was too much. The airport never came. The Energy lab... town... all way way too far away.  I felt sad. This wasn't what I dreamt of or trained for. 

Eventually, of course, I made the turn on the road that leads to T2. I wasn't on my aero bars. I was just riding.  I saw people and thought, "Get down... act like you care." 


Woah- BAD Attitude going on Ange! SNAP THE HELL OUT OF IT! 

Good races aren't all flowers and rainbows and tropical fish. 

It takes some serious head talk to make it through some days. 

So I made it in, handed my bike to the nice volunteer and said Thank you VERY sincerely. Then I tried to stand up and "run" into the tent to prep for a marathon. 

Time to turn the day back around. 

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Now it gets fun. 

After the long run around transition and into the tent, I got to work. I was chafed EVERYWHERE imaginable. ouch. A woman threw a cold wet towel on my back. Amazing. As quickly as I could, I changed socks and shoes, threw on my hat and glasses, and who knows what else... time to run. I had to wait briefly for the sunscreen from the volunteer and then I ran out ready to change the day. 

Down Ali'i and I felt really good!!!  The crowds uplifted me and I immediately started passing women.  

After a couple good miles, I started to hurt. And feel sad again. And worried. Emotions were overwhelming. There was no time for that, but I was struggling. I saw Mark!!! And Mary!!! Such a relief to see them.  Miles 4 -5-6--- I was ok but not great. I talked to Mark on my 2nd pass by them and told him how upset and disgusted I was about my ride. He gave me a 10 sec pep talk and I was back on my own. 

I stopped in the road and bent over. My foot was in incredible pain. It burned. I couldn't put pressure on it. I squeezed my toes and prayed for it to dissipate. 

And then, like a light switch. It happened. 

"You didn't come here to have a mediocre, give up too soon day. You haven't been busting your butt to fit in mega training with a busy life with 3 sons to give up because your foot hurts or your bike was too slow. Get out of your pity party. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. GO RUN THEM DOWN!!!! "

So I did. My low of that Ironman day was about to end. It had already lasted too long.  No more wallowing or feeling sorry for myself. 

I had No idea what place I was in at that point. But I did continue to pass women. I turned to go up the steep Palani road Hill and I ran. Most were walking. I ran. Every single step. The crowds were huge and they were fired up. They screamed for me as I ran by the walkers and I smiled. Game on. Game was back on. 

Left back on the Queen K and just like on the bike, the Real part of the race was about to begin.  

I wasn't sure the exact range of numbers for my age group. 1100---1900?? That's what I Thought Mary said but it sounded ( and was ) Much too large of a range. So, I just decided to chase All women.  

I moved quickly through aid stations walking only for a couple seconds to make sure the fluids got in. I took my gel, cooled with sponges and ice ( though it didn't feel too hot to me) and drank. I passed woman after woman and was having a blast. When I first ran past someone, I'd slide my race belt to the front so they couldn't see my number and know whether or not to chase me. When women were coming toward me, I moved it around to the back. No clue if they were looking, but I was. 

I felt good. I felt stronger the longer I ran. My energy was high. My foot pain wasn't too bad. My legs were ready to run.  After mile 12,  there were no more aid station stops. I grabbed fluids but kept moving and if I spilled, it was ok.  

At mile 17+, we turn at the far end of the Energy lab.  I turned the belt to the back as women were close behind me.  It's ok-- keep moving. You just passed them. Go pass more. 

The last mile up the hill and out of there is the toughest. Mile 18-19 ... it's slow and long. But-- then you turn Back onto the queen K and it's the Final 10K!!!!  

A Huge smile came on my face and I even pumped my arms as I made the turn. I knew I was climbing my way back into a good day. 

Mile by mile.  I held on. I snuck by more women. I knew I wasn't running up to the podium, but I was running my way to a good marathon time and turning my day around. 

My muscles were on fire and I was dreaming of the finish. And yet, I wanted more real estate. I wanted to catch more girls. I was having a blast.
The aid stations were Alive with energy. The volunteers were blasting music and dancing and cheering us with massive energy. 

The reality of what I was doing was growing and I had to control my head to 'not go there' quite yet. I had more miles to run. 

I don't plan to go back at this point. Life has other paths for me now. As I ran down the Queen K and looked over to the ocean, I took time to appreciate how big this was for me. A girl from small town Maine, racing in the World Championships. For the fourth time.  The enormity  of that is not lost on me. I have worked so very hard to be in these positions.  Time and sacrifice and pure determination not to give up has allowed me to experience this race with the best triathletes in the world. One might expect things to ease up & slow down as the age groups get older. I am going to tell you that the 45-49 year old women out there in Hawaii this year were Seriously tough athletes. As low as I felt on that bike, I consciously thought about how honored I was to be part of that group. They mean Business. Wow. There is no slowing down for that group quite yet.  It's very cool.  Age is just a number. I experienced that first hand. 

Only a few miles to go......  I was pushing as HARD as I could. I was recognized by and cheered for by Karen Smyers.  She is also an Ironman World Champion & from New England.  I was engulfed by a gauntlet of volunteers singing Crazy in Love  by Beyonce and did a little dance with them. I had a massive smile on my face as I turned onto Palani to run down that beast of a hill that I had climbed so intensely a few hours before. This was it.  The final mile. I was completely pumped. 

I heard a song blasting that Nick and I call, "our song" and dance to at home. I smiled even more and tried not to cry tears of overwhelming emotion for everything. I passed a girl. I ran with another one who was cruising along with strength. And then when I went in to see Mark and Mary at the bottom of the hill, I was filled with happy energy and passed her too. 

My "THIS IS IT BABE" slap with mark as I headed toward the last 3/4 miles...  SO happy!! 

 I ran down the road and gritted my teeth. The crowds were electric. I turned right onto Hualalai Road, and poured it on. Right on Ali'i Drive. Another sacred part of this course. The finish.  The screams were huge and in my head, they were all for me. But I saw more girls. I dug deep inside to my 'reserve' spot and just raced with every last spec of energy. I had to savor as I pushed. I ran by a few and then had to 'sprint' to catch the last one.  Got her. last mile 7:11. I was fighting for that. 

Up the carpeted ramp-- a slight slow down and with that.............
I was done.  

I felt myself wobble and lose focus but I bent down, grabbed my knees and breathed. 3:37. 3rd fastest run in my age group. 

I did it.  

I ran my way from 26th off that long bike ride into the Top 10. I finished in 9th place in the world my age group and 3rd American woman in my age group, and am feeling very proud of that.  It wasn't my fastest race in Kona but it was absolutely my best that day.  I gave it every ounce I had and since I finished strong, I can walk away with my head high. 

Always a twist......

After qualifying for the Ironman World Championships with a one of my best 140.6 mile races to date, I felt very comfortable with my decision to accept my Kona spot.  It's not a small decision.  It meant that I had to recovery like a champ since the race was only 6 weeks after Mont Tremblant, then pick up big training again ( hard to do after training very hard since January for the Boston marathon, a half Ironman and then Ironman MT) , AND I have 3 sons who are crazy busy with high school and middle school sports, student council, band and so on......  there are no quiet days it seems. But all that is fine. I signed the dotted line and got back to work.  All was good.......

Then two weekends ago, (9/18/16) I got up early on Sunday morning to fit in a bike-run workout before the family got out of bed so I could join back up with everyone for breakfast at home before the soccer games of the day. It had rained and the roads were wet. No big deal.  

I was 3 miles from home,  riding over the same messy railroad tracks I cross almost daily {the same ones that ate me alive 10 years ago ( 8/18/06--see the closeness in dates) and landed me in the OR for a rotator cuff repair} when I turned my head towards something 'over there' for a Split second instead of watching my wheels. 
That's all it took. I crashed. Pretty hard.  On my right side. The 'important' side of the bike.  And, the side I crashed on last time, when I wrecked my shoulder.

I swore. And then hollered. And then I got up and leaned over the bike for a bit and tried to catch my breath. The wind was knocked out of me. And I was hurting. And bleeding.  
I moved things around.... shoulder seemed OK.  Arms... knees....  Things were functioning as they should. But I was bleeding on my elbow and knee ( badly ) and ankle. And my Hand! My hand killed. I couldn't really use my right hand. 
I fumbled for my phone and called home.  Mark knew it was either a) flat tire I couldn't change  or b) I was hurt.  Sorry hun.. I needed a 'hug' even if over the phone.
I cried a little and just told him to talk to me for a bit. I was gathering myself and deciding what was next. The bike seemed ok.  I was ok.  I hurt but I decided to ride to DD, wash up and assess before I made the decision to go on or not.  

So I rode veryyyyyyyy slowly for 1/2 mile to a very busy Dunkin. I slid into the restroom, cleaned my wounds as much as I could and decided to continue on. If I went home, I'd be mad that I missed a workout. And, I wouldn't feel any better. 
The ride was alright. My hand hurt so so much.  The muscle under my thumb was very bruised which made braking and shifting very painful so I had to use my left arm. My elbow was cut so I couldn't ride in the aero bars. It was pathetic but I could ride, knees were moving ok, head was fine......I just felt sorry for myself for an hour or two. 

I got home finally. The boys ran down the stairs to "see" and I wimpered a bit. 

My leg looked like this: 

My knee was all chopped up but as time went on, it was / is the ankle that was worse. It swelled and that cut is right where my foot/ leg meet and it continues to hurt and not heal 100%.  But, it is fine. I'm fine.  I was lucky. 

I thought the bike was fine.  Tuesday, I headed out for a 5 hr ride. Three 30 mile loops--- loop 1- all good but the power meter acted a little odd. Lap 2-no power. I checked the magnet and it seemed a bit loose. Oh, ok. Just need more superglue.  Ride on. Loop 3- I taped it on with some stuff I had and it worked! yay. All good. 
That night, Mark re-glued it. I was good to go. 
But it acted crazy the next day. But not enough to worry.  I only rode a bit. 
THe day after that...... on the trainer...... NO power.  

Ok.... what's the deal. 

Long story short--- I talked to Kurt and after hearing I crashed, he knew. You damaged it. It's fragile-- you landed on that side-- you very likely damaged it. 

I was out of time. The bike needed to be packed the next day to ship to Hawaii. There was no time to ship it to CO for repair and then get it back. I panicked a little. And then knew I had to just accept what was happening. 

Over the past week, I've had a few heart to hearts with myself about just riding by feel. I know I can do that. I can. But see that photo at the top? That's where we ride.  It's hot, it's hilly, and it's windy. Crazy unpredictable winds are the name of the game on the Queen K.  Using a power meter, after training with one for years and years, is very helpful.  

And yet, at the end of the day, I just need to be smart. To be in control. To use my head and gauge my effort because I KNOW what to do!!!! 

But I'd be lying if I didn't say I was very worried about it.  

I have been working with SRM and with Kona Bike Works.  SRM has hustled and made some great things happen to help me out. Bike Works is ready to help on the Hawaii end. I think it'll be ok. One way or the other, I will ride that course the best way I can.  Perhaps with power, perhaps not.  

The final two weeks before I fly to Hawaii have been abnormally busy and full of surprises.  I have had to change my training at times and accept that I can only do my best that day.  And that is how I will race on 10/8. I will do the BEST I can do, each moment, each Mile. I will be focused and smart and tough. 

 These final weeks of training for my 2nd Ironman in 2 months, mothering 3 teenage boys and coaching has been a pure example of why these races are so challenging.  It's not just covering 140.6 miles as fast as I can on race day, it's getting there. It's the training. It's the stories behind the scenes.  I have many and I will tuck those moments away and pull them out during those hard miles along the lava fields. 

I have been tested.  How much do I want it? How badly do I want to succeed in Hawaii? If thrown a curve ball, can I catch it? 

I believe I did.  The work is done.  I am ready.  

Ironman Mont Tremblant -->Kona bound!

It's been nearly 3 weeks since I raced my 8th Ironman up in the beautiful village of Mont Tremblant Quebec.  I have been processing the day on and off since. I haven't been writing in my blog lately. I know I wrote a little story about the Boston Marathon, but nothing since.  I write in my head all the time but I haven't been able to spare many moments to sit and compose thoughts about myself these days.  Life with 3 teens is a whole new world of busy.  

But as I sit at my desk getting some work done, sucking down coffee hoping it'll seep into my veins and fill me with energy I just can't seem to find this week  because I need to head out the door in 30 min for a 16 mile run, I feel the need to write out some of these memories and worries that are overloading my brain right now.   

Call it my therapy. 

____________

A few years ago, after racing in Kona, I thought I was likely done with Ironman racing. But some time passed, I crept into a new age group, the boys asked why I wasn't racing as much and told me they missed our fun trips, and I decided to go for it again.  I missed it. I had/ have a few big goals left to accomplish and there's no better time than the present. So I signed up. Mont Tremblant is one of my favorite race courses on the circuit. If you're considering racing there, GO for it. It won't disappoint.  

My prep for the race went well. It was a little different than years past.  First, this was my first Ironman without the help of a coach.  I have been so fortunate to have been taught and guided by a number of Really great coaches over the years.  Seriously.... starting when I was just a little kid in the pool, through High School and College swimming,  Track and XC teams and then 10 years of Triathlon.  I have learned so much through them and through my own experiences and schooling that I knew I could handle this alone. But, that was the thing. There were times I felt a little bit 'lonely.'  You know, that pat on the back after a hard long block of workouts with a little advice or constructive criticism was missed.  However, I had to suck it up and keep going. Also, I could always reach out to my buddy Mary for those words of encouragement.  

In addition to being on my own, I had just raced the Boston Marathon in April. It wasn't a horrible lead into IM training, but it does throw in some challenge. My winter was absorbed with lots and lots of running and a lot of time with family skiing. That leads to less time biking and swimming. I had work to do after that 26.2 mile Patriot's day run. 

It was head down, get the work done, and keep the faith all summer.  Of course, I work from home & have three guys I love spending my time with so my training was squeezed into the very early mornings so I could maximize time with them this summer too.   It worked out just fine. They are quite independent and had some of their own things going on so we made it work.  I hit the starting line feeling very ready. I had put in a lot of high quality work with quite a bit of necessary volume and the combo felt good to me. My rest days were placed exactly when I needed them and my method of adjusting things as I went along worked well. After all these years, I find that I can handle quite a lot before needing rest so I took some risks with my workout plans and challenged myself a little more than I have.  I also lost a little weight and felt better myself due to that. I have no idea how much. I haven't stepped on a scale in Years. Truly, I bet it's been 4+ years.  This is a little rebellious in the world of Triathlon.  Sweat rates, caloric needs, and race weight are all very important.  I just know that I can't do it.  When I feel good, my clothes are loose and my workouts are going well, I don't want to stand on the scale and see a # that is higher than I want. That will send me to the kitchen for some cookies.  It works the opposite way for my brain. So, I go by feel. I know what I need for fluids and calories and I know when I'm at the proper body composition. That's that. I knew that I was 100% ready on race day.  

Don't get me wrong. That confidence and self- assurance does not mean there are no race nerves and anxiety!!!!  But for one of the first times, I do remember standing on the beach pre-race, alone, with an unusual sense of calm.  I just had a sense that all was ok... my head and body were totally prepared.  

We had a very hot and sunny summer.  I was ready for heat and humidity. I raced the 70.3 in MT in June and it was in the 90s and I was Miserable. But this time I was ready. 

However, mother nature decided to test us.  Rain was forecasted.  Ok...how much rain? I didn't really worry about it. Little did I know. We got a summer's worth of rain in 12 hours I think! Also, despite the 'scare' of a no- swim situation at the pre-race meeting ( fog and thunderstorms were the worry ) -- we were a 100% Go on Race day. Clear skies started the day... so a full Swim Bike Run day was ahead. Yay!!!  

Here's how the race went down: 

I'll spare you all my race morning prep and details. We all have our routines.  :) But it all went Just as planned and I was excited to get things moving.  NERVES were on Full Force that morning-- until the gun went  off!!!  

Swim: 

I think this might have been my first NON- Mass start Ironman. I must say,  I liked it. I was NOT a proponent of the change. I mean, the mass start is part of the challenge. That being said, those mass starts have Scared the heck out of me. I have had some bad and scary starts.  So I was in the very very last dead last wave. :( I was bummed. I wasn't looking forward to navigating my way through people. However, it wasn't too bad!!!  

I hit the water and felt Amazing.  I really just felt smooth and strong. I went out hard and could see I was pulling away from the others in my wave. That gave me more of a surge. I started to catch the waves ahead, group by group, but also felt gaps in the water to get through the people. Sure, I got kicked. I had breaststroke legs whack me in the face. I accidentally climbed over others. Oops, sorry. ;( It's all part of it. Goggles got knocked off.... the whole bit. 

And way out when we made the turn in the middle the water got Rough!!! We had big chop and huge swells. I just adjusted my stroke and breathing pattern and kept going. 

Finally- the sound of the crowd, the blown up arch in the distance and the beautiful shore.... love each finish along the way on Ironman day. Goggles off ( ouch, they always hurt my eyes after an hour with no break ) and dropped to the ground for the 'strippers' to help. I checked my watch and saw my time was sub 60 min.
YES!!! I was THRILLED!!!! I hadn't broken 60" for the swim since my first race back in '09!  

58 min for this leg. Great start. So so happy. 

Long run to T1--- into the tent-- this was fine. Typically the volunteers in the tents have sat with me and helped with things. They didn't do this here. They were standing back. That was different but also fine as I didn't have much to do this time. I ran out of the tent and had to take a Left to head to the bikes and WHACK! I totally flew in the air and fell straight down onto my hip. It was embarrassing. But I wasn't hurt. I laughed and ran to the bike. 

bike:

Don't worry, I wont' talk about 112 miles of biking. Let me just say this. It rained. Hard. The whole time.  Very very hard.  I was ready for it to be 90.  But instead, it was 60s (?? ) and insanely wet.  But you know.... you just have to deal with what is given to you! Or, you can quit? 

Nah... 

I guess the first 10 miles were ok.  I'm not sure.  It's always crowded to start and people are all over the roads trying to settle into their spots. The rule is you can't ride closer than 6 bike lengths to the person ahead of you. That is tough with nearly 3000 people on the roads and many of close clusters.  There are a lot of people who really don't seem to read or care about the bike rules and that gets frustrating. Especially with bad weather.  Those are the issues that seem to be the most noticeable at the beginning.  You just get out there, find your space, settle into an "easy" pace, and start drinking and eating.  

I was feeling great. I got 2 bottles in very quickly. About 10 miles in... 

It started to rain. And then pour. And then pour harder.  

It was pelting our faces and honestly, it hurt!  That came and went but I remember thinking that a lot. Ouch.  I was fine with it for a while. But eventually, the constant torrential rain got rather annoying.  I couldn't see. Water was seeping down behind my glasses and filling my eyeballs. The lens were fogged and wet. But if I took them off, it would still be bad and I had no place to put them.  My bar tape was super slippery and a few times  I lost my grip and slight control.  I was on alert.  The roads were covered with lots of standing water.  On a hilly course, it was  a bit dangerous. I decided braking was a bad idea. And while that sounds crazy, I thought it could cause me to wipe out.  I spent a lot of energy holding on Very tightly to the bike so I wouldn't fall.  My shoulders and back were getting pretty tired. 

All that aside, I felt strong. My power was exactly what I wanted. My pace was Exactly what I wanted. I was eating and drinking a lot.  My friend Bob passed me around mile 30 and it was nice to see a friendly face. Or I guess I just saw his back as he flew by very quickly.  We exchanged, "Great day for a ride!" chuckles...  The rain was so heavy  that I couldn't see anyone else all day.  This course is a 2 loop ride but we pass by the entrance to the village twice on each loop. My family (all my kids, my husband And my parents! ) were able to stand where I could see them twice on each loop! Spectating on the bike is sort of lame.. you see your person for about 10 seconds. :( But for us, it really does mean a lot. I have tried to explain to my kids just how much energy and 'oomph' they give me every time I get to see any of them.  There's something about that contact. Touching base... a little burst of sanity and hope when we see people we love out there for us.  Mom, Dad, kids, Mark, and all the oodles of friends that were there that day, THANK YOU!!! While the rain was very bad for us--it was also very bad for them.  They endured it just like we did.  

Around mile 60 my bike was making a horrible noise and completely distracting me. I worried about that a lot......at what point would I have to quit if the bike gave out and at what point could I 'run it in?'  26.2 miles is enough to run.. would I do 35 if I had to?  I was thinking about things like that............

The mind has a lot of places to go during 5 hour ++ bike ride...

Finally-- I made it through the torturous 12 miles out and back on the steep and windy climbs and into T2. I was sub 5:40 and honestly, I had tears in my eyes of happiness about my day as I rolled in and handed my bike off to the volunteers.  I was realllllllllly feeling good about what was happening.  

All I had to do now, was nail a marathon. :) 

Ironman is about patience. And pacing. And toughness.  Now that I was off the bike, the race was about to start. I had a feeling I was in a good position,but that's all I had. A feeling. I felt myself pull away from the other girls in the swim.  When I got out of the water, I looked around and didn't see anyone until I was running to T1. I saw another woman and checked out her calf: P. Hmm.. Pro? ok... I was 22 min up on her. :)   From there, I was off on the bike and basically blinded but I knew I didn't get passed by any women.  My feeling as I headed off to run was a controlled and cautious confidence.  I had a long way to go. 

This guy--100% in my corner.  He gave me a  "you got this hun" kiss and I  headed off to get the job done. 

Good thing I didn't wipe out-- again.  :) What the heck am I doing??!! haha... 

I climbed the first hill that takes us away from the village and out onto the run course and was so excited to see my friend Marni standing there cheering!!! I knew she was in town, but we hadn't been successful in connecting yet.  Texting & emailing were totally unreliable for me in Canada and she was staying a mile or two away.  It was a great surprise to see her there and fun to get a hug from my friend I rarely see!! 

Marni Sumbal--my first nutritionist to help me with this sport. Owner and founder of TriMarni Coaching and Nutrition. :) 

It had been so long since I raced with a bunch of friends!! This is just a few of them that were there that day. Bob T, Dave B, and Patrick K!! Great job guys!!! (Theresa, thanks for putting this fun compilation of photos together as we started our runs!! ) 

Time to get to work. Ahh... the Ironman run. It's a beast!!! The Mont Tremblant run course is hard, but fair. It's an out and back x 2.  For me, it's 4 Lengths. Pool talk. I'm a swimmer at heart and think in terms of the pool.  4 x 25. Or more like 4 x 1000.  And, like the 200 fly ( my old college event ) the 3rd 50 is the hardest.  

I hit the roads feeling good. Fine.  Nothing was bothering me.  I remember chatting with a guy about how Great it felt to have dry feet. I had changed my shoes and socks in T2, of course, and the dry socks felt Amaaaazing. The rain had stopped for the moment and I was enjoying that. Although, the humidity was building.  My stomach was fine, my legs were waking up-- or adjusting the run motion rather.  I've learned lots of things over the years in my racing & one key thing for IM racing is if you feel good, eat! Take advantage of it and get some calories in.  I did have a headache, but that's fairly typical for me at that point. I wasn't worried.  I just started taking cups of gatorade stuff on mile 2 and sucking on the EFS flask. While keeping myself in check, I started off strong. I felt good and wanted to get a little time on anyone coming behind me and anyone ahead. I wasn't sure where I stood in my age group.  I knew I had to find a strong pace that I could keep the whole way. My mission was to Not stop as much at aid stations as I have at other Ironmans and to keep my pace hovering right around 8:00/ mi pace.  
Lap1-- I don't remember much.  I tried to block out how much more was left. Just run. Block the rest out.  
Lap 2-- back to the village. To me that meant--- touch base/ hug/ wave/ info time from my family.  It also meant-- time to get serious and be ready for the face to face moments with women running towards me.  I wanted to check out where I stood within the race, and at the same time, not show my face. I felt pretty good. My quads were screaming a bit. I figured out a way to deal with it.  I allowed myself ~5 seconds or so at aid stations and with both hands I just squeezed both quads and loosened them up a bit. It worked. Quick stop and rub and off I went.  Head down, visor low ( stealth mode in case someone was looking for me...;) ) and brain off.  
It was raining again. I was feeling a little grumpy about that. My socks were soaked. Shoes were heavy and I could feel a beauty of a blister forming on my left baby toe. As long as it didn't rip or do anything crazy. I knew I had dry socks in my special needs bag.  I contemplated that change for about 6 seconds. I quickly changed that thought into, "Age group winners don't change their socks. If you want this. Do not stop. Suck it up babe." 
So......... with that I yelled my bib # to the special need bag helper, grabbed my gel flask replacement and left the socks.  

Ironman is not about comfort. It is about being tough. It is about hanging on when you want to stop. It is going to hurt.  That is a given. If you think you can head into a 140.6 mile race and not have some pain, you signed up for the wrong race.  The final 13 miles of the Ironman marathon, to me, are all about digging deep. It's about deciding how badly you really want it. It's about remembering all the hours and hours and miles and miles of hard work & making it happen.  It's about NOT feeling sorry for yourself.  That is a game changer.  It's hard, it hurts, you want to stop. Badly.  If you can learn how to put all that aside and instead of feeling badly for yourself for what you're going through.  


I ran down through the village at the half way point. I heard so so many cheers from people I knew watching!!  Thank you! If you are reading this, it really helped!!! But best of all, I got high fives from Mom and Dad! I got a hug and words with Mark. He told me I was in first in my age group. I saw all the boys. I stopped and hugged and kissed each one. I put my head up against Nick's forehead and told him I was getting power from them.  It truly gives me a lift. It means everything to have them there. 


I saw Marni again and she wasn't sure about my place but thought at least 3rd or 4th.  I knew I had a shot, one way or the other.  I made a decision about my "3rd 50."  I was going to run "easy." I knew I was running a solid / consistent pace and felt like I could hold on. But I wanted to have it in me to bring it home strong and faster, if needed to. My quads were on fire. My feet were on fire.  I have chronic foot pain that kicks in every time I run. Sometimes it's mile 5, sometimes it's mile 13. It comes and goes but it was there this day. I takes my breath away at times, it's so bad. Both feet, from mid-foot on, are just on fire.  I squeeze my toes inside my shoes when it happens and know that somehow, at some point, it will dissipate.  

I ran that last length away from the village with an easy approach. Not much changed, but I consciously brought my heart rate down and avoided pushing even when I thought I could. The roads were crowded so I had to slow down a lot just to get through people.  I started to see friends that were racing and that felt great. Friendly faces offering each other encouragement is always so welcome on these hard days.  

I made the turn at the end, took a deep breath and maybe even said out loud, "time to bring it home." 

Those last 7+ miles go on forever at times, but I was really feeling good. I started looking at my garmin and the clock. I started doing the math on my finishing time. I knew that if I could hold my pace for the last 4 miles..... I could get in around 10:25. I was Beyond ecstatic with this. But I could NOT stop. I was so so tired. My quads... pain really doesn't describe what we go through at the end of these. 
Back in 2011-- I had what I had been calling, 'the race of my life.'  That Ironman in Lake Placid went So well. I finished in 10:19 that day. I was 41.  
I am 46 and to think about coming close to that was truly exciting for me.  I worked very hard, and it was paying off. 

There were 2 steep hills that nearly threw me over the edge. I pushed so hard to get up them--- and when I got to the top I stopped. I didn't mean to. But my legs.. 
I squeezed them as I had been doing and just ran on. One time, some guy behind me yelled, "LET'S GO!!! DO not stop now!!" !   :)  I had a lot of support from other racers out there. It was very cool. 
I was able to eat and drink all the way to the end. Even on the last mile, I was taking in a few shot bloks. I just wanted to finish strong and I felt good, so I ate. I ran down the hill next to the lake and felt Amazing. I had energy!!! I ran up to the road that winds through the village and felt a surge and just raced so hard to the end.  It was done. 

Mission accomplished. 

10:25 overall time after a 3:34 run.  
I won my age group and took 3rd amateur woman and 10th overall with the Pro field mixed in.  

Now-- I prep for Kona. I am excited and overwhelmed all at once.  The race is one month from today. This is a very very fast turnaround.  I guess this will be left for another post-- if I can write again soon. Advice is welcome!  So far, I've rested a bit, built back in with some moderate training last week and started hitting it hard again this week.  I hope I'm doing this right. I have big goals for myself on that island. This is the last hoorah there.......I have experienced it and now I am going to race. I am on a mission.

Thank you for all the support Marni!!! I can't wait to see you again in Kona and to share the race course with your speedy husband, Karel!!!