Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Sometimes I Like to Curl up in a Ball,

So no one can see me because I'm so small.

Sometimes I like to run ever so fast, I sometimes come first, but I sometimes come last.

Sometimes I like to stand still as a tree, and watch everyone rush around about me.

Sometimes I like to just walk round and round, I pigeon step, pigeon step, till I fall down.
(ok--I don't do this very often. But my middle son sure does!! Makes me laugh...)

Six or seven years ago, my dear Aunt Jane gave my kids an adorable little book by the same title as my post. The author Vicki Churchill captures the feelings in our home in just the right way. Aunt Jane died very suddenly of a brain tumor almost 5 years ago. This book always makes me think of her.

This morning when I woke up, all I could think about was when I could possibly figure out how to crawl back into bed. My body shuttered when the alarm screamed at me at 4:30. I was still awake a mere 3 hrs before. I was in panic mode when I looked at the clock and saw the time in the middle of the night. I had missed my early morning swim on Monday. I was fried that day for several reasons and shut the alarm off by mistake. I Had to swim today. I had to. I was running out of options for fitting in my 2 / week dates with the pool.
So I got up.
Last night was such a bad night. Why does that happen? Yes, it was election night and I am pretty worked up about a few things happening in Maine right now. Specifically, an issue that was voted on by the entire state but only impacts My county. I'll just leave it at that. So I was up too late watching the poll numbers (fyi--- both issues are still statistically tied. But it's not looking favorable for my side.) and my husband was out late for something.
One thing after another and the next thing I know, insomnia.

But I got up.
I swam. I swam pretty hard and felt pretty good!!! I couldn't imagine even diving in the water as I looked at my face before. My eyes were puffy and red from my sleepless night. The cool water stunned me. SO, I just moved my arms and completed the workout. After a few hundred yards, I was focused on the job at hand.
And as tired as I am now, I'm more than happy that I dragged my butt out of bed and started the day off right with a swim.

I imagine everyone has those days. Those mornings when you do not think you can possibly accomplish one darn thing on 'the list.' Maybe you're too tired, too busy, too stressed, too sore. Who knows. I do know that it's always easier to just put it off. It alwasy makes sense at the time, to turn the alarm off or to just take one day off.

I also know that what puts you ahead of everyone else is when you make the conscious decision to just DO IT! Learn to ignore the little devil on your shoulder that is convincing you to back down. Have you ever finished something that was hard to start or hard to complete and said to yourself, "Boy, I wish I hadn't done that." Probably not. I know I haven't. That is what dragged me 40 minutes away from my bed early this morning after getting 3 hrs of sleep. I feel good now. Tired, but healthy. I feel stronger and more energetic than if I had just crawled down to the kitchen blinking for my coffee cup. (ok, I did do that but I took it in the car with me to the pool.)
You get my drift.
Get UP!! Do It!!!
There. that's my little pep talk for today.

And then, as Ms. Churchill says so aptly says,

"But when the day ends and the sun starts to fall,
Then I do what I do best of all.
I find somewhere soft,
somewhere cozy and small....
and that's where I like to curl up in a ball."


Ben said...

Feeling sick, that's been my big problem, just getting up and doing. Thanks Ange for the reminder. Well, the reminder of a reminder; my wife said the same thing this morning. I have 2 months to lose the 20 lbs I want to get off this year. And even being sick I can do it, just have to get back to training and stop laying around feeling bad about feeling bad.

Mary IronMatron said...

Oh! I lost that war this morning! And now I have to squeeze in the workouts somewhere else... :)

Shevaun said...

I know the book and the feeling well. Hang in there.

Annie Crow said...

Yes! And that's what I did this morning with my swim (though I only had to get up at 5:00). It's been a week of feeling off track with not enough sleep and too much leftover candy. But keeping the routine and moving is the only way out sometimes.

Michelle Simmons said...

Same thing over here, Ange. Moana was up for a couple hours last night middle of the night... husband snoring... me wide awake. First thing this morning they are both still sleeping and I am the one who go up to go swim. If I don't do it now I just won't be able to get it in this morning so here I go! I'll curl up into a ball later.

Ewa said...

The devil on my shoulder is not that little. Sometimes it seems to grow to monstrous proportions. And then he laughs when he wins and I hate that. But when I win, oh boy, the whole world is mine.

Kim said...

wow good girl for getting up and getting through a swim workout on 3 hours of sleep. you are a trooper. i never lose the morning war, well, because i dont ever workout in the mornings :)

kT said...

It makes me feel better that you struggle with this a little bit, too--boy, even a 5:30 am alarm is rough when it's so dark out! Good job getting to the swim. Sorry about your vote.

dawn said...

I needed this. I lost my battles all week. Tomorrow i get back to the fight.

Laurie said...

thanx for the much needed pep talk! i felt like staying in bed this morning but i went to the pool anyway and now i feel arms are like lead, but i feel great!

kizzy said...

I simply love your post.. I can always relate on every lines...

--kizzy smartwool

dawn said...

the pull to stay in bed is so strong for me. I am not the best morning "worker outer." I think half the mental challenges in triathlon are the mental challenges in training. Wish I could figure this part out!

tri like mary said...

Get up and do it! I'll have to remember that tomorrow morning when my alarm goes off for my early morning swim. Fortunately it's not at 4:30 like your though!