Split Second

1. My children are very healthy boys.
2. My husband and I are generally very healthy too.
3. We have a beautiful home.
4. We are able to buy and make nutritious home cooked meals each night.
5. My parents, my in-laws and many other family members are living close by and we see them often.
6. The daffodils are budding through the icky dirty ground.
7. Spring IS coming even if we are expecting 10-14" of snow tonight.
8. I have a lifestyle that allows me to train many hours /week for a sport I love.
9. I have loyal lifelong friends.
10. My youngest boy still asks Me to snuggle with him at night.

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That list of things I feel grateful for could go on and on and on. I am a lucky lady and I am keenly aware of that.

However, this week has been a little much. I hate to complain. But I am going to just a bit here.

It started off fine. I was tired from our weekend of fun again. I slept until almost 7 on Monday and Tuesday and that is a Treat!! When I woke up on Sunday morning, I had a nasty sore throat. It was clear by Monday that I had a true cold. No big deal. I was due. I haven't been sick in a long long time. Monday was actually a true Day off from training too. It was good timing. I slept late, took a shower, took the kids to school for a full day, and then I got a ton of work done that day.
Monday night...it started.
"the cough"
Once in a blue moon I get this cough that starts when I lay down and then Attacks me in middle of the night. It's deep and loud and my whole chest and throat spasms. It's uncontrollable. I get hot and sweaty and it's totally impossible for anyone within earshot of me to sleep. I'm sorry Mark. I got up in the night and wandered aimlessly through the house. I drank teaspoons of honey melted in warm water. I took a shot of Robitussin. Eventually, I went to sleep. I woke up Tuesday, Exhausted. And my throat was worse.
I had a busy day that day. It was all fine. I did an easy swim, a solid workout with my trainer and then, I had to go to the doctor.
I had something done there that Hurt and left me feeling woozy and uncomfortable. I'll leave it at that.
Time to go home.
Tuesday night... same deal with the cough. Violent spasms all night long. I tried to prop myself up. I tried a different bottle of cough stuff I found in the back of the cabinet. Probably from 2004. Some generic nyquil stuff. It didn't work.
Finally..it was Wednesday.
I was excited for this day because no matter what the thermometer said, I was riding outside!!! I had a 4 hour ride + 40 min transition run and I was fired up. The two days previous days were easy on the legs and I felt completely ready for this workout. The bike was packed up. I had changed my back tire myself. Put the bottle cages on. Dug out warm bike stuff... it was time. I would no longer pedal away in Lalaland with the TV in front of me. Time to get serious.
9:15 a.m., 35 degrees, and off I went. Yes! I was totally excited for some reason.
I felt Great! The first 30 miles or so were really fun. I felt strong. I wasn't freezing. The air on my face felt refreshing. It was going well.
Then, I turned around. I became deflated because I realized why I might have felt SO good on the first half. When I turned, the wind nearly pushed me backwards. I had a very strong headwind the whole way home. And, it got colder. The sun was hiding and the wind picked up.
At 2:40, my stomach tightened and I had horrendous pain. This keeps happening at just about that time so I think that's a red flag for some nutritional changes that need to be made.
onward.
I made a turn through a neighborhood and began a tough series of climbs. The whole ride felt like a climb but that part was super tough. The kind of hills that go on forever AND you have to stand on your pedals to get up and over. I was hot and unzipped.
I finally crested the hill to a beautiful open stretch. To your left you view Mount Washington and to your right it's pretty farmland. The wind is strong. I got cold. I was tired. I was sick of riding. I became worried about how much time I would have been the workout and picking up the kids. I sat up to zip up my coat and
WHAM!
Wind blew hard, I wobbled fast and the next thing I knew I was smashing to the ground.

Stars. Fog. Silence.

I was hurt and out of it. I wimpered and sort of gasped for my breath. The wind knocked me over and then it was knocked Out of me. It's a lousy feeling. I was sprawled on the road. Bottles around me. I felt several parts of my body screaming. I was scared for what was ahead. I was scared to find out how badly I was hurt. I have crashed before. I was hurt badly before. Was it going to be that way again? My elbow was screaming at me. Could I move it?
I sat there and felt dizzy. I felt unable to focus. I wondered who to call for help. Mark was out of town. Who do I call? Was there anyone?
I just stayed put. I would just sit there for a while. I couldn't get home.
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that's me. just sitting there.
Finally I could breath. I could see. I had my head back on. Time to start moving. Can I move my arm. Yes. It hurt but it moved. There were no sharp pains. My hand hurt. No blood. My leg. I stood up and cried. My leg hurt really really bad.
I picked up the bike.
CLimbed on.
Rolled down the hill.
I cried.
I pedaled. It hurt more.
Damnit.
What have I done.
In a single split second. I lost focus. Down I went. That's all it took. One single second.

I really had no choice. I had to keep going so I could get to my house. It was further than I wanted it to be. I got to the bottom of my road. Only 2miles to go. UP. Two miles up. Horribly reminiscent of 2006 when I fell hard on the RR tracks in town and had to ride those same 2 miles UP to get home. That time with a torn rotator cuff in my shoulder.
I cried harder.
Then, right out loud, I hollered to myself.
"STOP IT! GET OVER IT! STOP. GET YOURSELF HOME!"

I dont' think anyone heard me. But if they did, I don't care.
I got home. I took all my clothes off and checked out the damage. I hobbled around and realized I'd live.

I had to get dressed, pick up the kids, and drive 40 minutes to swimming lessons. Then drive home. Finally, I was home and could get that hug from my husband I needed.

I went to bed after icing my leg all day. It hurt a lot. Hurt a lot to walk. TO go up and down stairs. I had no idea what to expect today.

First, I had to get through the night. You guessed it! Mr. Cough came back! I thrashed around for much of the night. Just gagging and sputtering and praying it would just end. 4:27 my friendly beep went off and I could get up and move on. Away from the useless night sleep.

I drove Back to that pool to see if this aching body could move. My neck is now stiff, my back is sore, my hand badly bruised so it's hard to use it, but my leg is A Lot better than I thought it would be. I am feeling lot less pain and much more mobility. It's bruised and a bit swollen, but, I will be fine.

I swam and felt just fine. My road rash didn't sting and after 1000 yards, my leg wasn't too bad. It's just a solid deep bruise in my quad. Ugh.

I am lucky. It could have been much much worse. Biking is not the safest thing for me. I try so hard to be careful. It wasn't the sand, or small patches of ice or even the frost heaves that got me. It was my own lack of focus and dumb move. It only takes a second. And on another good note, I got a yummy prescription for cough medicine with codeine!! I think tonight will be muuuuch much better.

Safe riding everyone!!