It's been so long since I've posted I had to go back to see what that last post was about!!
I was apparently really tired that day. Now, I'm tired of reading that title. It's Making me tired!!
The theme for me this month has been soreness. I was beginning to feel like I might never walk across the room, or reach onto a shelf, or sit on a chair without a guarded,'ooooh ouch ahhhh....'
I have been Hurting for Weeks!!!!
My body has been going through some changes. I've been asking it to do things that it's never done before.
Circuits upon circuits of slamming medicine balls, jumping repeatedly onto massive tires, throwing medicine balls up at a wall - catching it- bend into squat and repeat. and Planks! oh the planks. Planks with one arm, planks while climbing mountains, planks while moving a ball back and forth and doing a push up! Crazy hard fun stuff. But my body has been Screaming!!
On top of that, my run mileage is gradually climbing. While the running hasn't been overwhelming, trying to run up my neighborhood hills (I mean, mini mountains) has left be begging for mercy. My quads have been shaking and rebelling on more than one run lately.
My last strength workout was Thursday night. I woke up Friday feeling all cocky and proud. I felt fine! I drove to the pool for a great swim. Haha...I am fine. I can keep up with those guys and handle this No problemo. (my new strength group is 99% men).
Ahem..
I spoke too soon.
(and I must interrupt this post, that I am writing while watching Dancing wth the Stars, to say that Jennifer Gray is one Hot 50 year old!!! You go girl! Motivation to keep the body in Shape! )
So yes, I spoke too soon. Serious DOMS! Yup---delayed onset muscle soreness. I had it. My upper body was talking.to.me.
What was it saying?
"Hello Momma! You are Wrecking me! I am getting ready to show you what this is for!"
It was time for some adapting. My body finally decided to stop taking this abuse and put all this hard work to some good use.
By Sunday morning, I was feeling just fine. Allejuia. I had a long run on tap and I wanted it to be good.
You know what? It was INCREDIBLE!!!! Now, my Heartrate and pace were controlled and monitored throughout. I am sure that helped things. However, something amazing happened. Something that is Rare for me. In all my years of running.
I never got tired. My legs did NOT get tired. At all!!! I felt Great! Fine. I felt the same at mile 15 as I did at mile 7. It was fabulous!!! And mystifying!
What's happening here??
Ding ding ding. I get it. Finally, I am getting stronger. My muscles are experiencing that thing we read about. Resistance to fatigue. Yup...that's what that was.
I am running more and more. I have double runs some days, and about 15 more miles/ week than I'm used to. That combined with some effective and well planned strength program and I'm seeing the results.
Sure, there's a good chance I was just havinga good day. But it was enough. Enough to build my confidence and give me the kick to keep working just as hard.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Sometimes I Like to Curl up in a Ball,
So no one can see me because I'm so small.
Sometimes I like to run ever so fast, I sometimes come first, but I sometimes come last.
Sometimes I like to stand still as a tree, and watch everyone rush around about me.
Sometimes I like to just walk round and round, I pigeon step, pigeon step, till I fall down. (ok--I don't do this very often. But my middle son sure does!! Makes me laugh...)
Six or seven years ago, my dear Aunt Jane gave my kids an adorable little book by the same title as my post. The author Vicki Churchill captures the feelings in our home in just the right way. Aunt Jane died very suddenly of a brain tumor almost 5 years ago. This book always makes me think of her.
This morning when I woke up, all I could think about was when I could possibly figure out how to crawl back into bed. My body shuttered when the alarm screamed at me at 4:30. I was still awake a mere 3 hrs before. I was in panic mode when I looked at the clock and saw the time in the middle of the night. I had missed my early morning swim on Monday. I was fried that day for several reasons and shut the alarm off by mistake. I Had to swim today. I had to. I was running out of options for fitting in my 2 / week dates with the pool.
So I got up.
Last night was such a bad night. Why does that happen? Yes, it was election night and I am pretty worked up about a few things happening in Maine right now. Specifically, an issue that was voted on by the entire state but only impacts My county. I'll just leave it at that. So I was up too late watching the poll numbers (fyi--- both issues are still statistically tied. But it's not looking favorable for my side.) and my husband was out late for something.
One thing after another and the next thing I know, insomnia.
But I got up.
I swam. I swam pretty hard and felt pretty good!!! I couldn't imagine even diving in the water as I looked at my face before. My eyes were puffy and red from my sleepless night. The cool water stunned me. SO, I just moved my arms and completed the workout. After a few hundred yards, I was focused on the job at hand.
And as tired as I am now, I'm more than happy that I dragged my butt out of bed and started the day off right with a swim.
I imagine everyone has those days. Those mornings when you do not think you can possibly accomplish one darn thing on 'the list.' Maybe you're too tired, too busy, too stressed, too sore. Who knows. I do know that it's always easier to just put it off. It alwasy makes sense at the time, to turn the alarm off or to just take one day off.
I also know that what puts you ahead of everyone else is when you make the conscious decision to just DO IT! Learn to ignore the little devil on your shoulder that is convincing you to back down. Have you ever finished something that was hard to start or hard to complete and said to yourself, "Boy, I wish I hadn't done that." Probably not. I know I haven't. That is what dragged me 40 minutes away from my bed early this morning after getting 3 hrs of sleep. I feel good now. Tired, but healthy. I feel stronger and more energetic than if I had just crawled down to the kitchen blinking for my coffee cup. (ok, I did do that but I took it in the car with me to the pool.)
You get my drift.
Get UP!! Do It!!!
There. that's my little pep talk for today.
And then, as Ms. Churchill says so aptly says,
"But when the day ends and the sun starts to fall,
Then I do what I do best of all.
I find somewhere soft,
somewhere cozy and small....
and that's where I like to curl up in a ball."
Sometimes I like to run ever so fast, I sometimes come first, but I sometimes come last.
Sometimes I like to stand still as a tree, and watch everyone rush around about me.
Sometimes I like to just walk round and round, I pigeon step, pigeon step, till I fall down. (ok--I don't do this very often. But my middle son sure does!! Makes me laugh...)
Six or seven years ago, my dear Aunt Jane gave my kids an adorable little book by the same title as my post. The author Vicki Churchill captures the feelings in our home in just the right way. Aunt Jane died very suddenly of a brain tumor almost 5 years ago. This book always makes me think of her.
This morning when I woke up, all I could think about was when I could possibly figure out how to crawl back into bed. My body shuttered when the alarm screamed at me at 4:30. I was still awake a mere 3 hrs before. I was in panic mode when I looked at the clock and saw the time in the middle of the night. I had missed my early morning swim on Monday. I was fried that day for several reasons and shut the alarm off by mistake. I Had to swim today. I had to. I was running out of options for fitting in my 2 / week dates with the pool.
So I got up.
Last night was such a bad night. Why does that happen? Yes, it was election night and I am pretty worked up about a few things happening in Maine right now. Specifically, an issue that was voted on by the entire state but only impacts My county. I'll just leave it at that. So I was up too late watching the poll numbers (fyi--- both issues are still statistically tied. But it's not looking favorable for my side.) and my husband was out late for something.
One thing after another and the next thing I know, insomnia.
But I got up.
I swam. I swam pretty hard and felt pretty good!!! I couldn't imagine even diving in the water as I looked at my face before. My eyes were puffy and red from my sleepless night. The cool water stunned me. SO, I just moved my arms and completed the workout. After a few hundred yards, I was focused on the job at hand.
And as tired as I am now, I'm more than happy that I dragged my butt out of bed and started the day off right with a swim.
I imagine everyone has those days. Those mornings when you do not think you can possibly accomplish one darn thing on 'the list.' Maybe you're too tired, too busy, too stressed, too sore. Who knows. I do know that it's always easier to just put it off. It alwasy makes sense at the time, to turn the alarm off or to just take one day off.
I also know that what puts you ahead of everyone else is when you make the conscious decision to just DO IT! Learn to ignore the little devil on your shoulder that is convincing you to back down. Have you ever finished something that was hard to start or hard to complete and said to yourself, "Boy, I wish I hadn't done that." Probably not. I know I haven't. That is what dragged me 40 minutes away from my bed early this morning after getting 3 hrs of sleep. I feel good now. Tired, but healthy. I feel stronger and more energetic than if I had just crawled down to the kitchen blinking for my coffee cup. (ok, I did do that but I took it in the car with me to the pool.)
You get my drift.
Get UP!! Do It!!!
There. that's my little pep talk for today.
And then, as Ms. Churchill says so aptly says,
"But when the day ends and the sun starts to fall,
Then I do what I do best of all.
I find somewhere soft,
somewhere cozy and small....
and that's where I like to curl up in a ball."
Sunday, October 31, 2010
A Change in Routine
And apparently, that results in Pain!!
I know there's really no such thing as good pain and bad pain. Seriously, pain is pain. It hurts and it's uncomfortable.
However, I know the pain I feel right now is temporary and is a result of a fun new regime I have going on.
Way way back when I was small (no pun intended), and before the age that many think one should 'specialize in one sport,' I started things off as a swimmer. That lasted, oh, about 15 years.
After my swimming life was over and it ended rather abrubtly with an 800 free relay at the University of Delaware, I turned back to running.
I ran and ran and ran.
And then, I got married. And had a baby. And then another. And then another.
Two years after that, I raced in a triathlon. ( I could say it was my first but I had done a few over the years... just two or three and they were with my creaky college-transportation mountain bikes, I changed my clothes behind a towel after the swim, and I had basically no idea how to ride a bike.)
I love Triathlon now. That is what I call myself. I'm a triathlete. It's still going strong.
And yet, I have decided that a change in routine, a diversion, is needed. I had a great 2010 season. I was able to pull out a few wins, I had a few PRs, and best of all, I had fun. But, things were just a little less than exciting for me. I'm not sure why. I honestly haven't pinpointed that. It was just something inside me. Something was missing.
July 24, 2011 I'll be toeing the line at Ironman Lake Placid for my 2nd time. I have decided that I love that distance. I think it suits me at this age and I truly love the challenge of figuring out how to get through those 140.6 miles with as much strength, power and speed as possible. I'll be ready.
But Before that...I'm turning myself into a Runner again!!!
Yahooooooooooo! I'm totally psyched. January 15, 2011 I'm running the Charleston Marathon in South Carolina.
I trained hard for a marathon a few years ago. Chicago 2007. I was in great shape and felt super confident about my run speed. I flew to the midwest with Mark and met Mary and Andy there for what was supposed to be a fast race. Well, just like this year, the suprise heat wave knocked us down. This was the year they stopped the runners who weren't done by 4:00 or something like that. It was in the 90s with nasty humidity that was held in by the big city walls. Yuck. I failed and didn't even come close to my goal time.
I haven't really been hung up on that race but I do have the desire to be properly trained to run a marathon again.
But why focus on running when I have an Ironman coming?? I'm in Maine. Starting about now, it's too cold (for me anyway) to do my rides outside. Soon, the roads will be wet, snowy, icy and it's impossible to go out. Like many, it's all trainer riding for many many months. I'm ok with it... for a while. And for certain types of rides. But let's be honest, it's a sure way to burn out if you're not careful.
So for now I run,and run, and run. And I love it. I am still swimming and I am still biking, but not as much. After January, those things will pick back up and I will have an amazing run base to carry through the spring.
The other change, the one that is kicking my butt, is a total increase and revamping of my strength program.
I am seeing a personal trainer weekly now. She has me doing things I've never seen or heard of before. Every week a new part of my body is screaming and begging for mercy. I recover from one session in time for the next one and then it's back to wobble around mode. I also bought a TRX system and will incorporate that into my routine soon. As soon as I can move again. And, I hope to join this group of great men and women at this clubhouse where they are led by an instructor through intense cross-fit like workouts. It's sure to be a blast.
The results so far? Almost every day I wake up to a new body part screaming at me. Today is Brutal!! I saw my trainer on Thursday. I had done some plyometrics on my own on Tuesday which left my quads on fire. After Thursday's workout, it hurt to sit. It still hurts to sit. Yesterday morning I ran 11 miles with some good hard efforts mixed in. I showered, ate, and then hopped in the car for a soccer game. A soccer game in which the parents took on the kids. And we PLAYED HARD!!!! Woah!!! It was 90 minutes of all out sprinting and stopping and kicking and moving back and forth and side to side and even a few slams on the ground.
I hurt everywhere today. My hip flexors barely allow my legs to lift themselves to climb the stairs. It still hurts to sit, albeit a bit less. My back muscles are sore, my neck is sore. Oh I have no idea what else. My legs just ache. Yesterday on my run, my glutes pulsed and felt like bruises with every step.
I can't imaging how the 7 miles I'm about to do now will feel.
I think when my body desides to stop rebelling against all the new crazy workouts I'm going to feel and be better than ever.
But for now: OUCH!
p.s. Happy Halloween!!
I know there's really no such thing as good pain and bad pain. Seriously, pain is pain. It hurts and it's uncomfortable.
However, I know the pain I feel right now is temporary and is a result of a fun new regime I have going on.
Way way back when I was small (no pun intended), and before the age that many think one should 'specialize in one sport,' I started things off as a swimmer. That lasted, oh, about 15 years.
After my swimming life was over and it ended rather abrubtly with an 800 free relay at the University of Delaware, I turned back to running.
I ran and ran and ran.
And then, I got married. And had a baby. And then another. And then another.
Two years after that, I raced in a triathlon. ( I could say it was my first but I had done a few over the years... just two or three and they were with my creaky college-transportation mountain bikes, I changed my clothes behind a towel after the swim, and I had basically no idea how to ride a bike.)
I love Triathlon now. That is what I call myself. I'm a triathlete. It's still going strong.
And yet, I have decided that a change in routine, a diversion, is needed. I had a great 2010 season. I was able to pull out a few wins, I had a few PRs, and best of all, I had fun. But, things were just a little less than exciting for me. I'm not sure why. I honestly haven't pinpointed that. It was just something inside me. Something was missing.
July 24, 2011 I'll be toeing the line at Ironman Lake Placid for my 2nd time. I have decided that I love that distance. I think it suits me at this age and I truly love the challenge of figuring out how to get through those 140.6 miles with as much strength, power and speed as possible. I'll be ready.
But Before that...I'm turning myself into a Runner again!!!
Yahooooooooooo! I'm totally psyched. January 15, 2011 I'm running the Charleston Marathon in South Carolina.
I trained hard for a marathon a few years ago. Chicago 2007. I was in great shape and felt super confident about my run speed. I flew to the midwest with Mark and met Mary and Andy there for what was supposed to be a fast race. Well, just like this year, the suprise heat wave knocked us down. This was the year they stopped the runners who weren't done by 4:00 or something like that. It was in the 90s with nasty humidity that was held in by the big city walls. Yuck. I failed and didn't even come close to my goal time.
I haven't really been hung up on that race but I do have the desire to be properly trained to run a marathon again.
But why focus on running when I have an Ironman coming?? I'm in Maine. Starting about now, it's too cold (for me anyway) to do my rides outside. Soon, the roads will be wet, snowy, icy and it's impossible to go out. Like many, it's all trainer riding for many many months. I'm ok with it... for a while. And for certain types of rides. But let's be honest, it's a sure way to burn out if you're not careful.
So for now I run,and run, and run. And I love it. I am still swimming and I am still biking, but not as much. After January, those things will pick back up and I will have an amazing run base to carry through the spring.
The other change, the one that is kicking my butt, is a total increase and revamping of my strength program.
I am seeing a personal trainer weekly now. She has me doing things I've never seen or heard of before. Every week a new part of my body is screaming and begging for mercy. I recover from one session in time for the next one and then it's back to wobble around mode. I also bought a TRX system and will incorporate that into my routine soon. As soon as I can move again. And, I hope to join this group of great men and women at this clubhouse where they are led by an instructor through intense cross-fit like workouts. It's sure to be a blast.
The results so far? Almost every day I wake up to a new body part screaming at me. Today is Brutal!! I saw my trainer on Thursday. I had done some plyometrics on my own on Tuesday which left my quads on fire. After Thursday's workout, it hurt to sit. It still hurts to sit. Yesterday morning I ran 11 miles with some good hard efforts mixed in. I showered, ate, and then hopped in the car for a soccer game. A soccer game in which the parents took on the kids. And we PLAYED HARD!!!! Woah!!! It was 90 minutes of all out sprinting and stopping and kicking and moving back and forth and side to side and even a few slams on the ground.
I hurt everywhere today. My hip flexors barely allow my legs to lift themselves to climb the stairs. It still hurts to sit, albeit a bit less. My back muscles are sore, my neck is sore. Oh I have no idea what else. My legs just ache. Yesterday on my run, my glutes pulsed and felt like bruises with every step.
I can't imaging how the 7 miles I'm about to do now will feel.
I think when my body desides to stop rebelling against all the new crazy workouts I'm going to feel and be better than ever.
But for now: OUCH!
p.s. Happy Halloween!!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Triathlon Workshop Announcement
If you are a beginner Triathlete or would love to enter your first race in 2011 but have questions about where to begin, please join me during your lunch break for a helpful session.
I will be giving a free clinic at Lululemon Athletica in Portland, Maine on November 15th from 12-1 p.m.
I will help you figure out what races are best for you, what equipment is needed, when you should begin your training for next season, how to train during the winter months and more.
Lululemon is located at 22 Milk Street in the Old Port.
If you have any questions please comment here or drop me an email at angela@trimoxiecoaching.com
Hope to see you there!!!
I will be giving a free clinic at Lululemon Athletica in Portland, Maine on November 15th from 12-1 p.m.
I will help you figure out what races are best for you, what equipment is needed, when you should begin your training for next season, how to train during the winter months and more.
Lululemon is located at 22 Milk Street in the Old Port.
If you have any questions please comment here or drop me an email at angela@trimoxiecoaching.com
Hope to see you there!!!
Friday, October 22, 2010
Children
I have three.
Three boys.
They are my world.
I am going to stray from my usual triathlon chatter to talk for a bit about my boys. Don't worry, I'll get right back to my swimbikerun babble shortly.
But something happened yesterday that truly had a profound effect on me.
A few nights ago, I went to bed in tears. That sounds a bit too dramatic for what was happening but the truth is, I was at the end of my rope. I ended my day feeling useless. My mothering felt ineffective. I have been feeling totally incapable of reaching through to my boys. I stare at photos taken from earlier years and find myself sad. Things were easier then. I was hardly ever 'mad' or upset with them. We just cruised around doing things you do with babies. We've watched a lot of family videos lately from when the kids were 1, 3 and 5 or ages near that and I tell ya..they were SO cute!! Oh I miss that stuff. Sure, they were much more dependent upon me for the basics in life--getting them dressed, feeding them, washing their faces in the tub, and for that matter, carrying them. But they were small and I was their world. It was easy for me to carry them around, hang their coat on the hook, plunk them in their high chairs for lunch and then throw a ball around the playroom.
I'm totally simplifying things of course. It really wasn't that simple. But somehow, I feel as if I am spinning my wheels right now. The boys are 11, 8 and 6. They are fabulous children. They really are. I'm their Mom so of course I think that but hey, I really do think they are awesome kids.
And yet.... every-single-day I have to tell them the same things over and over and over and over! I tell one not to drop their shoes at the bottom of the stairs, another to put clothes away instead of throwing Clean clothes in hamper because it's easier, please pack your soccer stuff (we do this 5x week so it should be easier by now!), where is your coat?, dont' throw the kickball inside, blah blah blah blha blah. Funny...as I write things out it all seems SO totally unimportant. But the jist is that I'm talking about basic things around the house that each of us needs to be responsible for. We are a family of 5 and I do feel that as each child grows, he needs to be able to do things for himself and to help keep things rolling along smoothly. Having to explain these things day after day after day after day after day, it starts to feel like nobody is listening.
So that's that.
Last night I was about to go to bed. Mark asked me if Cameron (he's 11) told me the story about Jack. (ficticious name)
Earlier in the evening Cam had told me that there was something he wanted to talk to me about but he never did.
So Mark told me.
Cam started the story by saying that "something happened today with my friends and I hate it when this happens."
At recess, Cameron saw some boys over in a group. Some of them were boys he plays with. As he walked over, those kids ran away and he saw Jack on the groud, hurt. Jack ended up in the nurse's office getting ice for his hurt leg.
Later on at lunch, Cameron was already sitting at a table with some friends. ( I am not sure if they were the same ones that had been bothering and I believe hurting him outside.) Jack came over to sit there too, limping and holding the ice bag.
As Jack started to sit down, this boy that had hurt him, swooped in and 'stole' his seat and left no room for Jack.
Jack left and found an empty table and sat down alone.
The rule in their cafeteria is that once you sit, you stay there. The teachers don't want the kids moving around.
Cameron is a rule follower...Big time. However, he decided to risk it.
He stood up from the table where his friends were sitting and moved to sit with Jack.
When Mark told me this, tears just spilled out of me.
That's My boy. He gets it. He totally gets it. I am actually blown away by how sweet that was and how proud I am of him. Cameron is not the child who is most comfortable in social situations. He has felt awkward along the way while trying to develop friendships. It hasn't been easy for him. And despite the fact that he now feels 'safe' with this group of popular boys, he still went out on a limb to reach out to this poor little guy who was undoubtedly feeling horrible and sad yesterday.
At that moment I realized how undeniably wrong I had been in feeling so much frustration with these little kids.
I was allowing myself to get so hung up on the day to day mundane tasks. The small stuff. The details in our world that make our homes run more smooothly but don't mean one iota in the big picture of life. Who really cares I guess if Nick's shoes are alwasy left at the bottom of the stairs with his coat on the floor?
If I can somehow show these kids that kindness and compassion is what matters, then I feel I have succeeded. Tonight at dinner, I will have Cameron tell his brothers the story. He clearly has a lot to teach all of us.
Thank you Cameron. You're awesome.
I have to 'smack' myself every so often, when things are wild and crazy around the house. These kids are here because I brought them here. I mean truly, I 'made' them! They didn't knock on my door and ask for this life. I brought them into the world and it is my responsiblity, with my husband of course, to show them the way. I am so so insanely lucky to have them all. Two of my 3 kids spent several weeks in the neonatal intensive care when they were born, one was born prematurely via emergency c-section, one was at high risk of brain damage since the cord was wrapped twice around his neck for 12 weeks during my pregnancy (I used my swimming history to 'will' him to do flip turns while he was swimming around in there to unravel himself--it worked!), and yet all of them are incredibly healthy.
I am Lucky!!
So how dare I feel exasperated like I do at times. It's normal, I know, but I need to step back and remember all this. The important things.
My guys:

So after my Proud moment last night with Cameron, I was able to keep the happy Mom hat on and accompany my other little guy to his field trip today!! Oodles of 3rd graders at a cool mine in Western Maine. It was 37 degrees and SNOWING when we arrived! Yikes. It turned out to be a fun day. After learning some interesting facts about all the valuable gems and minerals found on this site we went into a real bona fide cave! Actually, a tunnel. It's a man made tunnel that they used to mine in. Check it out!!!

black tourmaline


open your eyes Tommy!

________________________________________
I'll post again soon and get back to Triathlon!!! I have a few new developments that I'm excited to share. Actually, I've been scheming about things for a while but the plans are finally in place.
I can't wait for 2011!!
Three boys.
They are my world.
I am going to stray from my usual triathlon chatter to talk for a bit about my boys. Don't worry, I'll get right back to my swimbikerun babble shortly.
But something happened yesterday that truly had a profound effect on me.
A few nights ago, I went to bed in tears. That sounds a bit too dramatic for what was happening but the truth is, I was at the end of my rope. I ended my day feeling useless. My mothering felt ineffective. I have been feeling totally incapable of reaching through to my boys. I stare at photos taken from earlier years and find myself sad. Things were easier then. I was hardly ever 'mad' or upset with them. We just cruised around doing things you do with babies. We've watched a lot of family videos lately from when the kids were 1, 3 and 5 or ages near that and I tell ya..they were SO cute!! Oh I miss that stuff. Sure, they were much more dependent upon me for the basics in life--getting them dressed, feeding them, washing their faces in the tub, and for that matter, carrying them. But they were small and I was their world. It was easy for me to carry them around, hang their coat on the hook, plunk them in their high chairs for lunch and then throw a ball around the playroom.
I'm totally simplifying things of course. It really wasn't that simple. But somehow, I feel as if I am spinning my wheels right now. The boys are 11, 8 and 6. They are fabulous children. They really are. I'm their Mom so of course I think that but hey, I really do think they are awesome kids.
And yet.... every-single-day I have to tell them the same things over and over and over and over! I tell one not to drop their shoes at the bottom of the stairs, another to put clothes away instead of throwing Clean clothes in hamper because it's easier, please pack your soccer stuff (we do this 5x week so it should be easier by now!), where is your coat?, dont' throw the kickball inside, blah blah blah blha blah. Funny...as I write things out it all seems SO totally unimportant. But the jist is that I'm talking about basic things around the house that each of us needs to be responsible for. We are a family of 5 and I do feel that as each child grows, he needs to be able to do things for himself and to help keep things rolling along smoothly. Having to explain these things day after day after day after day after day, it starts to feel like nobody is listening.
So that's that.
Last night I was about to go to bed. Mark asked me if Cameron (he's 11) told me the story about Jack. (ficticious name)
Earlier in the evening Cam had told me that there was something he wanted to talk to me about but he never did.
So Mark told me.
Cam started the story by saying that "something happened today with my friends and I hate it when this happens."
At recess, Cameron saw some boys over in a group. Some of them were boys he plays with. As he walked over, those kids ran away and he saw Jack on the groud, hurt. Jack ended up in the nurse's office getting ice for his hurt leg.
Later on at lunch, Cameron was already sitting at a table with some friends. ( I am not sure if they were the same ones that had been bothering and I believe hurting him outside.) Jack came over to sit there too, limping and holding the ice bag.
As Jack started to sit down, this boy that had hurt him, swooped in and 'stole' his seat and left no room for Jack.
Jack left and found an empty table and sat down alone.
The rule in their cafeteria is that once you sit, you stay there. The teachers don't want the kids moving around.
Cameron is a rule follower...Big time. However, he decided to risk it.
He stood up from the table where his friends were sitting and moved to sit with Jack.
When Mark told me this, tears just spilled out of me.
That's My boy. He gets it. He totally gets it. I am actually blown away by how sweet that was and how proud I am of him. Cameron is not the child who is most comfortable in social situations. He has felt awkward along the way while trying to develop friendships. It hasn't been easy for him. And despite the fact that he now feels 'safe' with this group of popular boys, he still went out on a limb to reach out to this poor little guy who was undoubtedly feeling horrible and sad yesterday.
At that moment I realized how undeniably wrong I had been in feeling so much frustration with these little kids.
I was allowing myself to get so hung up on the day to day mundane tasks. The small stuff. The details in our world that make our homes run more smooothly but don't mean one iota in the big picture of life. Who really cares I guess if Nick's shoes are alwasy left at the bottom of the stairs with his coat on the floor?
If I can somehow show these kids that kindness and compassion is what matters, then I feel I have succeeded. Tonight at dinner, I will have Cameron tell his brothers the story. He clearly has a lot to teach all of us.
Thank you Cameron. You're awesome.
I have to 'smack' myself every so often, when things are wild and crazy around the house. These kids are here because I brought them here. I mean truly, I 'made' them! They didn't knock on my door and ask for this life. I brought them into the world and it is my responsiblity, with my husband of course, to show them the way. I am so so insanely lucky to have them all. Two of my 3 kids spent several weeks in the neonatal intensive care when they were born, one was born prematurely via emergency c-section, one was at high risk of brain damage since the cord was wrapped twice around his neck for 12 weeks during my pregnancy (I used my swimming history to 'will' him to do flip turns while he was swimming around in there to unravel himself--it worked!), and yet all of them are incredibly healthy.
I am Lucky!!
So how dare I feel exasperated like I do at times. It's normal, I know, but I need to step back and remember all this. The important things.
My guys:
So after my Proud moment last night with Cameron, I was able to keep the happy Mom hat on and accompany my other little guy to his field trip today!! Oodles of 3rd graders at a cool mine in Western Maine. It was 37 degrees and SNOWING when we arrived! Yikes. It turned out to be a fun day. After learning some interesting facts about all the valuable gems and minerals found on this site we went into a real bona fide cave! Actually, a tunnel. It's a man made tunnel that they used to mine in. Check it out!!!
black tourmaline
open your eyes Tommy!
________________________________________
I'll post again soon and get back to Triathlon!!! I have a few new developments that I'm excited to share. Actually, I've been scheming about things for a while but the plans are finally in place.
I can't wait for 2011!!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Mission Accomplished
I am absolutely deconditioned.
And, it's not just my body, but my mind too.
I am supposed to be decondtioned, that was the goal. A good long hard break from training. I needed to step away and stop the grind for a while. I struggled a little bit at first, but then I began enjoying the time off.
I didn't stop thinking about things. I have to admit, I thought about the sport a lot. I have a plan for this upcoming season that is a little different. I am excited and ready for what's coming next.
More on That later.
Back to the present.
I will not lie. I have had a hard morning.
It's Monday, th start of week 4. You see, I just took 3 weeks off. Ok. There were a few short easy runs sprinkled in over the last week. And, a few comical attempts at "yoga" and "pilates" that resulted in this uncoordinated athlete just dropping onto the floor for sit ups and planks.
Today's workout called for a swim. Yay! If you read my blog regularly, you know I love swimming. It's my safe place. My athletic life started in the pool. Swimming is easy for me and it feels great. It feels great to work hard in the pool and it feels great to swim easy for recovery.
However! Because I live in rural Maine and my town doesn't understand how valuable a swimming pool would be (yes, you are sensing a "tone" in my voice)to the community, I am forced to drive 40 minutes to swim. Deep breath.
I am used to it and I am absolutely able to get into the routine that is necessary to fit in my swims.
The alarm goes off at 4:33. I get up, don my sweats, grab my coffee, pick up my pre-packed swim bag, hop in the car, and I'm off. I listen to a strange talk radio station that discusses the possibility of life outside our universe (I'm serious) and then at 4:59 the local radio station morning show comes on and I switch to that. I drink my coffee, always finishing at a certain point in the ride, eat a Luna bar if my workout is long and hard, and just enjoy a quiet ride while the rest of the world is sleeping. I'm home by 7 a.m. so my husband can drive off to work and I am left feeling pretty damn happy that I'm way ahead of the world with a strong swim in the books.
Not today.
Last night, I packed my bag. I wrote my workout on my index card and put it in the baggie. Mark offered to let me swim during the day because he is taking part of the day off. (Columbus day..and we are going to our camp to close up...there's a pool nearby. ) I hurried to the computer to check the schedule. Closed Oct 9-11th. Darn. I really do need to set that alarm.
Deep breath.
It's been a while since I've had to get up at 4:33.
I went to bed way too late. I didn't mean to. But, it just happened. I'm out of practice. I had things to do. I wanted to read this and that. Next thing I knew, it was 10:23. That leaves only a bit more than 6 hrs. Not enough.
Deep breath.
I couldn't sleep. I got up to use the bathroom and by accident, I saw the clock. 10:57. Shoot. Now, it's less than 6 hrs.
It could have been just a short night that made me tired. But I wasn't that lucky. You see, I am sometimes brain smashing migraines. One thing that bothers me the most, is that they come on During the night. For no apparent reason. I wake up with someone pounding a hammer on my head. What gives? I was awake on and off feeling HOT! I was sweating and just miserable. The room was chilly. It was freezing last night and my windows were open. So, who knows. I was sick to my stomach too. Would I have to get up? Not a good night. It's been happening for years and a while ago, I was given a nice strong prescription that sometimes helps. The problem is, it messes with me. I can't adequately describe what the drug does to me but let's just say, it's best when I can take it and go back to bed. At 3:00 a.m. last night, I took some. It was that bad.
4:33. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
deep breath. I stumbled around my room searching for my little pile of clothes. I do it automatically. Just like it was yesterday. But then, I kicked the laundry basket which banged into the table which made a picture fall. ooops. Sorry hun. I'm out of practice.
Worst of all. The headache was still there.
I kissed Mark goodbye and stumbled away. I poured my coffee, grabbed the bag, and headed out.
To be on time, I'm supposed to be out of the house by 4:45.
It was 4:49. I don't know what I did. I was just slow.
My ride was unpleasant. The car was all foggy on the inside of the windows and the defrost wouldn't work. The coffee tasted gross. My head was throbbing. The lights on the other cars were blinding me and aggravating me so much I almost pulled over.
Oh, there's more but I'll spare you.
Let's just say it wasn't the best re-entry into training.
I arrived at the pool, late, but I was there. The few people who were there commented on my absence and I think they also wondered what the heck I was talking about when I said, "off season this and off season that..."
Finally. The water.
I stretched and felt tight. I felt thick in my bathing suit.
Just dive in Ange.
And so I did.
Ahhhhhhhhh.... There we go. My happy place. My safe place.
The water.
It was quiet. It was cool.
I swam back and forth and back and forth trying to find my stroke.
My arms loosened up and my head relaxed.
Before I knew it, no pain.
Just me and the water.
The sound of the splashes soothed me.
I was back.
An hour later I hopped out and drove home. My head is still pounding and I want nothing more than to crawl back under the covers. But, that doesn't happen at my house. The kids are off today and they are all staggering downstairs one by one as I type. I'll take my hot shower, pour more coffe, and open training peaks to log my first workout for the next season.
It wasn't easy today. But I did it.
And, it's not just my body, but my mind too.
I am supposed to be decondtioned, that was the goal. A good long hard break from training. I needed to step away and stop the grind for a while. I struggled a little bit at first, but then I began enjoying the time off.
I didn't stop thinking about things. I have to admit, I thought about the sport a lot. I have a plan for this upcoming season that is a little different. I am excited and ready for what's coming next.
More on That later.
Back to the present.
I will not lie. I have had a hard morning.
It's Monday, th start of week 4. You see, I just took 3 weeks off. Ok. There were a few short easy runs sprinkled in over the last week. And, a few comical attempts at "yoga" and "pilates" that resulted in this uncoordinated athlete just dropping onto the floor for sit ups and planks.
Today's workout called for a swim. Yay! If you read my blog regularly, you know I love swimming. It's my safe place. My athletic life started in the pool. Swimming is easy for me and it feels great. It feels great to work hard in the pool and it feels great to swim easy for recovery.
However! Because I live in rural Maine and my town doesn't understand how valuable a swimming pool would be (yes, you are sensing a "tone" in my voice)to the community, I am forced to drive 40 minutes to swim. Deep breath.
I am used to it and I am absolutely able to get into the routine that is necessary to fit in my swims.
The alarm goes off at 4:33. I get up, don my sweats, grab my coffee, pick up my pre-packed swim bag, hop in the car, and I'm off. I listen to a strange talk radio station that discusses the possibility of life outside our universe (I'm serious) and then at 4:59 the local radio station morning show comes on and I switch to that. I drink my coffee, always finishing at a certain point in the ride, eat a Luna bar if my workout is long and hard, and just enjoy a quiet ride while the rest of the world is sleeping. I'm home by 7 a.m. so my husband can drive off to work and I am left feeling pretty damn happy that I'm way ahead of the world with a strong swim in the books.
Not today.
Last night, I packed my bag. I wrote my workout on my index card and put it in the baggie. Mark offered to let me swim during the day because he is taking part of the day off. (Columbus day..and we are going to our camp to close up...there's a pool nearby. ) I hurried to the computer to check the schedule. Closed Oct 9-11th. Darn. I really do need to set that alarm.
Deep breath.
It's been a while since I've had to get up at 4:33.
I went to bed way too late. I didn't mean to. But, it just happened. I'm out of practice. I had things to do. I wanted to read this and that. Next thing I knew, it was 10:23. That leaves only a bit more than 6 hrs. Not enough.
Deep breath.
I couldn't sleep. I got up to use the bathroom and by accident, I saw the clock. 10:57. Shoot. Now, it's less than 6 hrs.
It could have been just a short night that made me tired. But I wasn't that lucky. You see, I am sometimes brain smashing migraines. One thing that bothers me the most, is that they come on During the night. For no apparent reason. I wake up with someone pounding a hammer on my head. What gives? I was awake on and off feeling HOT! I was sweating and just miserable. The room was chilly. It was freezing last night and my windows were open. So, who knows. I was sick to my stomach too. Would I have to get up? Not a good night. It's been happening for years and a while ago, I was given a nice strong prescription that sometimes helps. The problem is, it messes with me. I can't adequately describe what the drug does to me but let's just say, it's best when I can take it and go back to bed. At 3:00 a.m. last night, I took some. It was that bad.
4:33. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
deep breath. I stumbled around my room searching for my little pile of clothes. I do it automatically. Just like it was yesterday. But then, I kicked the laundry basket which banged into the table which made a picture fall. ooops. Sorry hun. I'm out of practice.
Worst of all. The headache was still there.
I kissed Mark goodbye and stumbled away. I poured my coffee, grabbed the bag, and headed out.
To be on time, I'm supposed to be out of the house by 4:45.
It was 4:49. I don't know what I did. I was just slow.
My ride was unpleasant. The car was all foggy on the inside of the windows and the defrost wouldn't work. The coffee tasted gross. My head was throbbing. The lights on the other cars were blinding me and aggravating me so much I almost pulled over.
Oh, there's more but I'll spare you.
Let's just say it wasn't the best re-entry into training.
I arrived at the pool, late, but I was there. The few people who were there commented on my absence and I think they also wondered what the heck I was talking about when I said, "off season this and off season that..."
Finally. The water.
I stretched and felt tight. I felt thick in my bathing suit.
Just dive in Ange.
And so I did.
Ahhhhhhhhh.... There we go. My happy place. My safe place.
The water.
It was quiet. It was cool.
I swam back and forth and back and forth trying to find my stroke.
My arms loosened up and my head relaxed.
Before I knew it, no pain.
Just me and the water.
The sound of the splashes soothed me.
I was back.
An hour later I hopped out and drove home. My head is still pounding and I want nothing more than to crawl back under the covers. But, that doesn't happen at my house. The kids are off today and they are all staggering downstairs one by one as I type. I'll take my hot shower, pour more coffe, and open training peaks to log my first workout for the next season.
It wasn't easy today. But I did it.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Thinking Back and Looking Forward
First, thank you THANK YOU for all the helpful and supportive comments on my last post. It is nice to know that I am not the only one who struggles with food intake on a day to day basis. I do wish that I could just, 'eat when I am hungry and listen to my body,' but I struggle with this. I have certain foods that I want to eat each and every day because I love them. So, regardless of hunger or my body's need for X,Y or Z nutrient, I want to eat my peanut butter rice cakes because that is what tastes good! sigh...
I know that if I want to see a change in my body, then I must change what I am doing. Even though I eat healthy food, I do not eat enough variety and I do not time things well. Oh, and yes, my portions are too big. I am sure of that. I think that is what is the most daunting. Having less food. I don't like that part at all.
Besides my dinner, the food I eat each day is more or less the same. I can't imagine that is a good thing. Especially since it's not egg whites and spinach that I eat at lunch. (I am sorry, but egg whites are terribly tasteless to me. I try...but I can't stick with it because I don't like it.)
I plan to check out the book recommended to me and adapt some of other thoughts that were shared. Thanks so much everyone!!
OH!! I also have to add this before I move on to another topic. While the timing of this post was a bit odd, my feelings and frustrations have Nothing to do with the off-season. Nothing. I struggled with this all year. I was never at my race weight. I don't even know my ideal race weight! I am not just struggling with gaining a few pounds past my in -season buffness (ha!) because I was never there to begin with.
That said, I FULLY intend to be there Next Year.
_________________________________________________________________________
I am enjoying my rest period. I like the off season. I really do. I am saying that in all honesty. Sure, I struggled with the cessation of training after my last race. I love training. I love exercising. Of course I do! Otherwise, how could I be in this sport? However, I am also able to channel myself back to the days when I had to struggle to fit it all in. The days when I had to frantically drop the kids at school, drive like a maniac home, barely stop to breath so I could be on my bike by 9:02 in order to fit in the 80 miles + 2 mile run in time to shower, eat that perfect post-big-workout-meal, and then get the kids from school. I didn't have time to do anything else. Sure, some days are much lighter than that. I enjoy going to bed at 10:15 and not stressing that it's 45 min too late and I have to wake up at 4:30 to drive 40 min to the pool. I enjoy figuring out our weekend plans and not stressing about how I will fit in my workout. For example, my kids have 6 soccer games on Saturday. I Love that I have no other worries than to get them to the field by 7 a.m (yup, and it's 40 min away)and spend the day cheering them on and ---feeding them. :) It's all about them right now. It's their turn. And, I'm good with that. It makes me happy.
My body is softer and certainly slower. It's only October so, I'm good with that too. There is time. Lots and lots of time. Last year I developed a stress fracture in my foot and was more or less sidelined from November-January. And yet, I did just fine last season.
I think the longer I do this sport the easier it is for me to realize that I need to step away from time to time. I need to show my family that there is more to my life than the need to train with a purpose every day.
I am focusing on my business and how I can develop that more. I am reading loads of material to help make me a better coach. I am cleaning kitchen cupboards. I am shopping for Christmas and school clothes for the kids. I am taking a Shower as soon as I get out of bed!! And...I only take one shower a day! It's the little things.
The other thing I am doing is planning for my 2011 race season. No, Triathlon is not totally off my mind. It's there every day. I am planning races. I am planning strategies. I am putting together ideas that will make me stronger, fitter, faster and happier. I know that this upcoming year is going to be the best yet.
________________________________________________________
Saturday is the Ironman World Championships in Kona. I am enjoying all the pictures and comments that are coming from the people I know there now. I have been thinking about my experience there last year and just how fortunate I was to be able to make that trip. That race is such a Huge Experience. The entire week leading up the the race is like nothing I have ever done before. I am not sure if I'll ever go back or not. But I do enjoy reliving my time there. This is a little redundent since I'm sure I posted these last year. But it's as much for me as it is you. So bear with me. I love going back to old photos and remembering.
Saying goodbye to the Kids. Not a happy moment for me.

These are completely out of order. But...
My poolside post-race "meal!" That's a Frozen mudslide and french fries! I had to replace all that lost salt!!

Getting real......note my colorful ribbon. I did that at both Ironmans and it Helps!

This was the day before the race. I had just racked my bike and bags. On the right you can see the giant gatorade bottle that is in line with the starting line of the swim. The Navy ship is behind me. It was just over this wall that Mark saw a few giant sea turtles.

One of my favorite parts of my time in Kona. The morning swims at Digme Beach. The atmosphere was still semi-relaxed and as I've said 1000 times, the colorful fish and coral were stunning.

Mary Lou and I had a swim lesson with Karlin Pipes-Neilsen in an endless pool overlooking the Pacific. This is MLou.

I took this picture while sitting on the rocks next to the expo. I was on the phone with Coach Jen discussing my race plan.

Somewhere on the run. Note my distorted body shape. I was Filled with ice! I stuffed ice everywhere I could at every single mile along the way.

The Finish line was under construction all week. I loved crossing the line and seeing myself up on this giant screen.

I took advantage of some free demos at the expo. It was a chance to sit and relax. My muscles went Crazy with this electrical stim machine. I can't remember what it was called.

Walking to a morning swim.

Ready.

Hanging with Pro Bree Wee.

Pre-Race dinner with friends and fellow Maine women: Kim Cole and Mary Lou Lowrie. their daughters Alison and Rachel joined us too.

Post-swim breakfast with Nat under a big tree along Ali'i Drive.

Happy, Relieved, Sore and Proud. Sporting my Finisher's medal while having fun at the finish line for the last few hours of the race.

FREE STUFF!!
check out
www.dcrainmaker.com
I know that if I want to see a change in my body, then I must change what I am doing. Even though I eat healthy food, I do not eat enough variety and I do not time things well. Oh, and yes, my portions are too big. I am sure of that. I think that is what is the most daunting. Having less food. I don't like that part at all.
Besides my dinner, the food I eat each day is more or less the same. I can't imagine that is a good thing. Especially since it's not egg whites and spinach that I eat at lunch. (I am sorry, but egg whites are terribly tasteless to me. I try...but I can't stick with it because I don't like it.)
I plan to check out the book recommended to me and adapt some of other thoughts that were shared. Thanks so much everyone!!
OH!! I also have to add this before I move on to another topic. While the timing of this post was a bit odd, my feelings and frustrations have Nothing to do with the off-season. Nothing. I struggled with this all year. I was never at my race weight. I don't even know my ideal race weight! I am not just struggling with gaining a few pounds past my in -season buffness (ha!) because I was never there to begin with.
That said, I FULLY intend to be there Next Year.
_________________________________________________________________________
I am enjoying my rest period. I like the off season. I really do. I am saying that in all honesty. Sure, I struggled with the cessation of training after my last race. I love training. I love exercising. Of course I do! Otherwise, how could I be in this sport? However, I am also able to channel myself back to the days when I had to struggle to fit it all in. The days when I had to frantically drop the kids at school, drive like a maniac home, barely stop to breath so I could be on my bike by 9:02 in order to fit in the 80 miles + 2 mile run in time to shower, eat that perfect post-big-workout-meal, and then get the kids from school. I didn't have time to do anything else. Sure, some days are much lighter than that. I enjoy going to bed at 10:15 and not stressing that it's 45 min too late and I have to wake up at 4:30 to drive 40 min to the pool. I enjoy figuring out our weekend plans and not stressing about how I will fit in my workout. For example, my kids have 6 soccer games on Saturday. I Love that I have no other worries than to get them to the field by 7 a.m (yup, and it's 40 min away)and spend the day cheering them on and ---feeding them. :) It's all about them right now. It's their turn. And, I'm good with that. It makes me happy.
My body is softer and certainly slower. It's only October so, I'm good with that too. There is time. Lots and lots of time. Last year I developed a stress fracture in my foot and was more or less sidelined from November-January. And yet, I did just fine last season.
I think the longer I do this sport the easier it is for me to realize that I need to step away from time to time. I need to show my family that there is more to my life than the need to train with a purpose every day.
I am focusing on my business and how I can develop that more. I am reading loads of material to help make me a better coach. I am cleaning kitchen cupboards. I am shopping for Christmas and school clothes for the kids. I am taking a Shower as soon as I get out of bed!! And...I only take one shower a day! It's the little things.
The other thing I am doing is planning for my 2011 race season. No, Triathlon is not totally off my mind. It's there every day. I am planning races. I am planning strategies. I am putting together ideas that will make me stronger, fitter, faster and happier. I know that this upcoming year is going to be the best yet.
________________________________________________________
Saturday is the Ironman World Championships in Kona. I am enjoying all the pictures and comments that are coming from the people I know there now. I have been thinking about my experience there last year and just how fortunate I was to be able to make that trip. That race is such a Huge Experience. The entire week leading up the the race is like nothing I have ever done before. I am not sure if I'll ever go back or not. But I do enjoy reliving my time there. This is a little redundent since I'm sure I posted these last year. But it's as much for me as it is you. So bear with me. I love going back to old photos and remembering.
Saying goodbye to the Kids. Not a happy moment for me.

These are completely out of order. But...
My poolside post-race "meal!" That's a Frozen mudslide and french fries! I had to replace all that lost salt!!

Getting real......note my colorful ribbon. I did that at both Ironmans and it Helps!

This was the day before the race. I had just racked my bike and bags. On the right you can see the giant gatorade bottle that is in line with the starting line of the swim. The Navy ship is behind me. It was just over this wall that Mark saw a few giant sea turtles.

One of my favorite parts of my time in Kona. The morning swims at Digme Beach. The atmosphere was still semi-relaxed and as I've said 1000 times, the colorful fish and coral were stunning.

Mary Lou and I had a swim lesson with Karlin Pipes-Neilsen in an endless pool overlooking the Pacific. This is MLou.

I took this picture while sitting on the rocks next to the expo. I was on the phone with Coach Jen discussing my race plan.

Somewhere on the run. Note my distorted body shape. I was Filled with ice! I stuffed ice everywhere I could at every single mile along the way.

The Finish line was under construction all week. I loved crossing the line and seeing myself up on this giant screen.

I took advantage of some free demos at the expo. It was a chance to sit and relax. My muscles went Crazy with this electrical stim machine. I can't remember what it was called.

Walking to a morning swim.

Ready.

Hanging with Pro Bree Wee.

Pre-Race dinner with friends and fellow Maine women: Kim Cole and Mary Lou Lowrie. their daughters Alison and Rachel joined us too.

Post-swim breakfast with Nat under a big tree along Ali'i Drive.

Happy, Relieved, Sore and Proud. Sporting my Finisher's medal while having fun at the finish line for the last few hours of the race.

FREE STUFF!!
check out
www.dcrainmaker.com
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