Not this year

Tomorrow is my first race of the year. It's the annual 10 mile road race in my hometown. I've done this race on and off since some time in the 90s. I had to miss the race a few years ago because my arm was in a sling after shoulder surgery but last year I was there. I had a PR. It surprised me to be honest. I wasn't sure I was ready to run that fast.
For some reason, I always feel doubtful when I head into this race. It's the first of the year. I haven't used my fast legs too much yet. I question my fitness. I question my ability to move fast.

Not this year. Coach Jen gave me an awesome pep talk and I am no longer miss wishywashy. I am ready to go.
I believe in myself.
I know I have guts.
I like to hurt. "make it hurt" has been a motto of mine ( and my Dad' s ) all my life.
If it doesn't hurt, if you don't suffer a bit, of course you're not going to go faster. You're not going to PR.
I think sometimes one expects to just "have the speed." In other words, one expects it to jut come out when you want it to.
But you know what. It doesn't work that way. Your personal cruise control speed might get faster from year to year but if you want to take yourself up a notch, it has to hurt. It has to. You have to dig deep and go for it.
I know we all know this. Of course it hurts.
But you know, isn't it easy to just back off a bit after it starts to hurt for a bit. You know, you've been running hard and you kick it in and then you start to hurt. Really hurt. there's really no word that's better. So it's hurting, and you slow down. It's human nature I think. We like to feel good!
If you dig deeper when the pain comes on, if you push through and keep moving, THat's when you breakthrough. That's when you get what you want out of your race.
Just don't do it in teh first mile! Ha!! That's a whole other story. ( My friends know I've had to learn this lesson the hard way!)

So--tomorrow is the day. Kick off to 2009.
Make it hurt baby.