It's not just me...is it??

Timberman 2008



I alwasy get a lot of heckling before races. Why? Because everyone seems to think I am 100x more "nervous" than everyone else.
I just can't imagine this is true. I think I am normal. Of course I get nervous!! Right? It's normal isn't it! Perhaps nervous isn't the right word.
Definintion: Nervous-- feeling of dread or apprehension. Relating to somebody's ability to tolerate anxiety or stress.
Ok, fine. I am Not nervous. I am not feeling dread. That is a bit dramatic.

I am excited. I am anxious. Ok, I'm anxious. but I actually think I can tolerate it. Why I start to feel anxious, excited, and aware that a rather big event requiring extreme amounts of effort and pain is imminent, I get NERVOUS! Yes, I said it. I am nervous. Again, isn't that normal?
I get fligty.
I am at times talkative. At times withdrawn.
I get a little impatient. I am intolerant of excess thoughts in my brain.
I am hyper sensitive to every single little feeling in my body.

why does my ankle hurt? My head feels fuzzy. My stomach has a pain in the upper right quadrant. I am not full of uncontrolable energy. I remember in college, during taper week at the end of swim season. Our coaches used to tell us to expect wild and crazy behavior to emerge from our teammates. We would be unable to hold the overwhelming feelings of energy as the meet date approached.
Now, um, not so much. I don't have the urge to jump over the lane line from a standing position in the pool.
Is this because I am not tapered?
Or perhaps it's because I'm a 40 year old mother of 3.


(side note: speaking of being 40. There is a new add on for Target right now. On that add, they sing the Free to Be song. Do you all remember that soundtrack? Did anyone else, my age of course, sing that with their buddies while dancing around their bedrooms?? it brings back memories for me. See.....I'm tapering. I'm laying on a bed in a hotel room watching Saturday afternoon Tv. Bear with me. )

Anyway.......

I don't think I'm the only one feeling nervous today. Just sayin'. fess up folks. We all get nervous right?

I know I am in a good place to race when I feel this crazy feelign. It means I am focused on what I need to do. I care. My mind is in the game. I work day after day after day on this sport. I work Hard to make it fit into the family's schedule. So...I am determined to make every single race 'worth' all that time.
Plus, I just care. I want to do well. For myself.

We have a nice comfy hotel room. I was in bed by 10:00. That's not super early but we slept until 8:00. Not bad. I had a cup of coffee, did my 30 min warm up workout, drank some protein powder, showered, went out for pancakes, and now, I am laying down watching Blue Planet. it's actually pretty cool. I like whales and sharks and penguins. It's better than the Jack Lalane infomercial I had it on before.

enough babbling....time for me to close my eyes and visualize my race. Oh yes. One more thing.
Last nigth I dreamt I was doing an Ironman. At some point on the run, I grew tired. Of course. Very convienently my Suburban appeared on the side of the road. So, I hopped in. I drove the next few miles of the course instead of running!!! Then, just before entering the part of town where people mgith see me, I ditched the car and finished the run! I don't recommend you try that. Pretty smart of me though....


more on the other side.