Now What?

I'm officially in the off season. Ok, now what do I do?
It is true that I am enjoying my "free time." (more on that in a bit) I enjoying going to bed without laying out 6 sets of clothes--swim stuff/travel to and from swim sweats/bike clothes for warm inside trainer rides/run clothes for sub 30 degrees and wind Or run clothes for treadmill Or run clothes for 40+ degrees, etc etc
I enjoy going to bed without preparing my nutrition for pre/post/during workouts.
I enjoying not writing out the minutes of the days to make sure it will all fit.
Example:
4:35 alarm set
4:55 out the door to pool
swim 5:50-6:25
6:27-6:58 drive home
6:58-7:02 Greet kids, kiss hubby, drop bags, bye to hubby, take over where he left off with kids: no joke here.....all in 5 minutes
7:03-8:00 clean kitchen, make sure kids are done eating, dress 3 kids, redress 1 kid because pants are too short, redress antoher because shirt is itchy, brush 3 boy's hair with wet brush because hair Won't lay down otherwise, listen to them fuss because water is in their eyes-again, brush 3 kid's teeth (ok, 1 does it alone), make 2 lunches, collect library books/homework and pack bags (I know I know...should do this the night before...but note fact that I'm preparing for MY day! :-) Bad mommy here), remind them 3 times to put on socks, oh yeah...I Have to get dressed, put hair out of face, try to hide goggle eyes, EAT! I have a long brick headed my way after alll, make sure bike is hooked up to traiiner, say Hello to 5 contractors walking around my house, discuss where I want outlets, how high should shelves be, what color is trim, "GET IN THE CAR GUYS!! We're late!" Ahh I forgot to brush MY teeth!! "I'll be Right there!! Just get In and Buckle up!!!"
8:00 Phew. I did it. We're off.
8:15 hug Nick 10 times and kiss him more. Leave at preschool. :-( Still miss the little guy.
8:25 drop big boys at school with hugs even though they're pulling off towards playground.
8:35 Home. Try to avoid contractor's questions, change, grab nutrition bottles, hit the trainer by 8:45-9:00
ride ride ride ride ride ride
12:30 maybe 1:00 Off bike. Dry sweat, change out of jog bra and shorts that are gross and soaked, put on running tights, shirts, hat, gloves, mp3 and head out the door for 9 mi run avoiding crazy looks from contractors leaning on their trucks for a smoke break.
2:20 In the house. No shower. Guy is working on bathroom. Ok fine. Who needs a shower?
I'll just change my clothes AGain, wolf down a few calories and hop in the car.
2:45 pick up Nick. "Hi Mommy. Do you have a snack for me?" In my head, "Hon, I've been training since the Moment I left you and YOU want a snack? I've had a lousy glass of recoverite and a luna bar! That's it!!!" To him, "yes sweetie. Here's a granola bar." Breath. Mommy first.
3:05 Pick up big kids. Head home. More snacks. There's lots and lots of dirt through house and the contractors are still there.
Breath. I Need a shower!! Maybe later when hubby gets home. Right before I make dinner. Right before I lay out clothes for tomorrow's workout.

So...that's what it was like. For months after school started while preparing for Clearwater. The race of my life. It WAS worth it.
I'm still busy. I am volunteering in kid's rooms, I am shopping for things for this house project, I am taking care of typical Mommy things. We all know what those are. Moms are always busy. If you take away 1 thing, others fill it's space.

Am I happy those crazy crazy days are over? I guess.
But mostly, I'm lost.
I am stir crazy.
My body is Desperate for a good dose of endorphins.
I am eating like a maniac. What happened to that off-season weight loss? I am eating junk. I think I'm over it now though. Ready for good stuff again. I just Had to have a bunch of cookies, and chili, and tacos, and a donut. A BIG donut. It was good! I dont' really want another one though and that is a good sign.

I am a triathlete now. It's in my blood. I want more. I know I can go faster. I am Itching to go faster. I want to try again. To push harder.

For now, I will try to enjoy setting the alarm for 6:05 instead of some ungodly 4:00 hour buzz. I will enjoy taking showers just because that's what one does each day and not because I stink with sweat.
However, I dont' feel good. I have headaches. I feel sluggish. My energy levels are down. I know my body needs to get back at it.
It's been 8 days. I will not do Anything until next week. I swear. I know it is for the best. Many many people with Far more experience than I are promising me that it's the the right thing to do. I Will do it but interestingly, it's almost harder than training each day. It's just not who I am anymore.
So, I'm hanging on.
This is just confirmation that this sport is where I belong.
And you know what, I am a far happier and more patient Mom when I am in the midst of my training. I can't pinpoint why but my overall focus is much deeper.

Rest on Ange. It'll be over before you know it.