Thursday, April 2, 2009

The time has come


April 1st. It marked the beginning of my build period for Ironman. This is exciting. It means I'm one step closer to being prepared on July 26th.
My body feels ready for the challenge. I am not injured. I am not sore. (rest week...so this is a temporary high), nor am I particularly tired. ( again, I realize it's a rest week..) But I have adapted to the increased load from week to week. I am focusing on doing the "extras" which really shouldn't be extras. I'm trying to stretch more. I am going to bed at the same hour even when I don't have to get up super early. I am taking ice baths and hot tubs before bed. I am paying close attention to nutrition and improving my diet every day.
My anxiety does not lie in getting the workouts done. (although I won't lie. those super long bike rides, alone, do scare me. I'm afraid I might truly die of boredom out there.)
The reasons my heart is beating a little faster and I am staring at the calendar a little more are Cameron, Tommy and Nicholas. For 9 1/2 years they have been my sole focus. Oh I don't mean to leave my husband out of the mix. But he is an adult and it's just a little different. He probably secretly enjoys time alone....we all do of course.
This trainig period is not a surprise. My family knew it was coming and they really do support me. And I do think I probably stew about it more than I need to. Mark constantly assures me that it's Good for him to have alone time with the boys. True. But still. I am just Always here. Or at least I was.
I have decided that the way to make myself feel better about my time away from home is to do a better job when I am here. Time with the kids is precious. I know this. I have always felt this of course. I am going to make an effort to be more "present" while I'm with them. I don't think I'm too bad about this now. But I want to be better. During my Ironman training, these are some of my goals. To focus on the boys when I am Not training. I am going to make an effort to put the swimbikerun in my head aside while I am with them. I will focus 100% (or Try!) during each workout and then do my best to switch gears after. I will try not to send them to play alone just because I am tired from my 7 hr workout. I will try try try to be there More even though I am home Less.
Mom guilt. It's powerful.

10 comments:

Jennifer Cunnane said...

Ange, if anyone can do a good job on handling this its you. From "getting to know you so well" - online :-), its obvious you have your priorities straight. Even better, I think when time is more limited we always focus better. I know I do... for example, WTF did I do with all that free time before kids?? :-) It will work out great!

Marni said...

Oh what a great post! YOu are a great mom...and eventually, the kiddos will be following in your footsteps. Although they may or may not be triathletes, they are learning how important it is to reach goals and to live a healthy and active lifestyle. Most of all..their mommy is happy!
-marn

Swimming for ME said...

BRING ... IT ... ON!! Go Ange!!

Velma said...

Great post. I have the same mommy guilt - I don't think it will ever go away. I have the same plan. After my runs - the rest of the time is for kids. You can do it!

Pedergraham said...

I struggle with being "present", too. Sometimes I only make it to being "available". I am always afraid that when she is a teenager and has her own full life, I will regret all the missed opportunities of riding bikes, taking nature walks, and reading books together that we have right now!

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Definitely get the mommy guilt. There are so many distractions/time eaters. My husband is training for a June IM, and we're in the thick of it now. Agreed, it helps to focus and be in the moment when you're actually together! Press on! Little minds are watching and learning.

GoBigGreen said...

Good luck! As for the last post isnt it humorous when your schedule says "now quickly transition to a run." HAHAHA! it takes me For-ever to get my booties off ( you should get those, neoprene booties, mine are CRAFT) then get a dry shirt on ( bc I will freeze running in the one i biked in and...blahblahblah.
It has to get better..it WILL!!!

MaineSport said...

You've recognized the first step- achnowledge that you need to change your focus to the family when you're with them. It can be VERY hard to do, but it's critical.

IronMatron said...

I need to learn from you!
Sorry it took me so long to respond to this post.
I was busying watching the kids.
:) haha!
xoxo

Rural Girl said...

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I have a feeling, you manage brilliantly in all areas of your life.