Sunday, November 1, 2009

Soul Searching -Time to turn the Page

Ironman is done. That chapter of my life is closed. For now. Time will tell if I pull that book down off the shelf again. I have a feeling I will. Someday. When the time is right.

While Ironman is done, Triathlon is Not. The pages of that book are flapping all over my living room table. Major opportunities and challenges staring me in the face.


Since October 10th, many people have asked me the question, "Now what?"

That's a loaded question in my eyes. Are we talking about racing? What are my goals for 2010? I expect that this is what they mean since we are discussing my Kona experience.
However, to me, the question means a lot more. I have been asking myself the same question lately. Now what? I am at a bit of a turning point in my personal/professional life. It is time to make some decisions.

One thing is a constant. I am a Mom. Of course, this is my 1st priority...my job if you will. I am very lucky. I was able to leave my work 8 years ago (that long??? wow, time flies) to stay home with my little ones. At that time, I had a two year old and was expecting my second. Now, I am blessed with three spectacular little boys. Yes, they really are awesome to me. They are my biggest successes in my life.....

Ok. That is figured out. I'm Mom.

I'm also Mark's wife. Clearly, that is figured out too.

Family priorities-check.

My oldest turned 10, my littlest is 5, and I am about to turn deep breath gulp stand up straight and smile 40!!!!

There, I said it. 40. Forty. Four x Ten = 40! however, you look at it, January 8th is approaching.

But the big change in my life is actually that little Nicholas has made the trek off to Kindergarten. I no longer have any kids home with me from 9-3. That has left me with some new choices, opportunities, decisions, and yes, Time. I had Ironman training to completely fill that void for the first few months. Since then, I have been trying to catch up on various things that I put off while training for those two Ironmans. I have yet to be bored. I can imagine that is hard to imagine for some, but trust me, when you care for 3 boys during all the other hours of the day, things get put off and there are things to be done.
Despite that lack of boredom and down time, I crave more. I have some ideas and I am very excited. And they would fit perfectly into our life.

It's time to follow my heart. That is easier said that done. When you have a passion for something..you do it. Right? Or is taking risks....foolish? Are you foolish not to stick with the safe and secure option? I do feel the need to go for it. I feel the need to try something that drives me. If you do what you love-you will do it well. I firmly believe this. If you are happy in your work-you are happy in your life. When I make the final decisions about the next part of my life, I want to be sure. I want to be sure it is just right for me. For my children. For my husband. For all of us.

How do you know? How do you make that step away from what is your safety? Your skill? Perhaps you have another skill. Perhaps that skill is something that you have worked for all your life without realizing it...and now you have a chance to turn it into more.

I think it's time for me to turn the page. To dive in. Head first....with my sparkly new anti fog goggles on of course.

12 comments:

GoBigGreen said...

I remember going to graduate school knowing I would be in my mid 30's by the time I finished and it absolutely horrified me! Then I realized I wad in no rush bc I had a long life ahead of me - I say GO FOR IT. My mom got a masters when she was 70 yo:) even if it's not educational goals you deserve to dream big and keep experiencing life!
Woo hoo!

Running and living said...

You will never know for sure unless you try it. If you don't, you will most likely regret it. If you do and it does not work out, you can always try something else. I know it seems more complicated, but it can also seem simple, it's how you look at it!

IronMatron said...

I say go for it...
haha!
Not that I have any ulterior motives...
It's so hard to leave what's secure. I totally know that deal. I think we just have to believe that our past experiences professionally will help us in the future.. ?somehow. It will be hard to watch those degrees just gather dust....
Liberating too?

healthyish said...

I have a sign in my office that says "Trust your crazy ideas." I look at it every day and every day it reminds me that I got where I am today thanks to a whole bunch of crazy ideas--and I wouldn't change a thing (okay, cheaper/better health insurance, but that's it!). I say go for it, whatever it is!

Train-This said...

There is absolutley no reason and no excuse to NOT follow your heart and reach for your dream. Unless you plan on living this life 2 times. :-) Go. Why not? If not here then when? If not now then why?

Reach girl!

Marni said...

I'm dying to know what is next for you? Amazing stuff for sure and you will excel no matter what!
-marn

rungirl said...

Well, I always say go for it! I believe you can do anything if you want it bad enough. You definitely have the will to succeed ... in whatever you do. When I made the decision to start grad school a few years ago I was worried I wouldn't have enough time, but I make it work. Whatever path you choose, the journey will be great because that is the type of person you are. PS ... 40? That means you're finally out of my age group!! :-)

Jennifer Harrison said...

You know what I think, Ange....GO FOR IT....time to take some risks, why not? :)

Jennifer Cunnane said...

What are you going to do??? Whatever, I am sure you will do great = most important is yes it works for you and family and also that you are passionate about it! We turn 40 about same time.. well same month, I am going through this process too, we are lucky to be in such positions ya know?

Ryan said...

Wow! It's almost like we have the same mind except I know my next goal for the year...but I'm always searching for What's Next.

Good Luck

Melissa said...

I would try something I felt strongly about. Especially if all of my support was there. Meaning, you have the flexibility to do what ever it is you feel you need to do and my family is backing me up on it. Definately!!

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