Starting Fresh

Today is a new day. The sun is out. The air is warm. I feel so so good. I have climbed out of my sleep deprived fog. Wow. I missed a whole week! I went to bed at 10 p.m. last night and woke up at 8:00! Ten hours of uninterrupted sleep. I can't believe how much I've been missing! Now that I feel good, I realize just how bad I felt. I am ready to conquer the world!



My weekend was pretty eventful. Here's a recap: I knew I had to swim Saturday morning. I hadn't been in the water since my big workout on Wed and Sat. is my day to get a full hour without rushing back for my hubby to get to work. He grimaced when I said I was going because he admitted that he likes it better when I sleep in with him on Sat. I felt guilty. He also knows that I never sleep in on Saturday. If it's not swimming, it's biking or running. I do that so I won't take away more hours of the day from our family. I figure it's more efficient to knock of 2 hrs while they're all sleeping. I guess it's that tricky balancing act. Which is better? Missing that time in the wee hours with hubby or time with all 5 of us? I don't know. It's a work in progress.



I went to bed early on Fri and slept fairly well. But, at 4:00 I woke myself up coughing and gagging some more. Before I knew it, the alarm was going off and it was time for my 45 min drive to the pool. Ugh. I did it though. I poured my giant mug of coffee and headed off. I was proud to keep my routine despite my total exhaustion. I had this sinking gut feeling though.



And I was right. The pool was dark. It was closed. "Try me week" at the Y and for some reason, the early bird swim on Sat was off. OMG!!!!! I did a U-turn and headed back home at 6:15 a.m. I almost cried.



What would I do? Go back to bed. Nope, too late. The kids would be up. We were planning to ski. I did what all addicted-to-training triathletes do. I hopped on the treadmill and started running my ass off. I ran hard and I ran long. I ran hills. I ran and ran and ran and tried to get my "anger" out. You see, whenever it becomes a serious pain for me to "find water" I start resenting where we live. I live in my husband's home town. It's beautiful here and it's home to me now, but it's missing a lot in my mind. We live here because his business is 2 miles from our house. Can't beat that. And since he works and I stay home with the boys, well, I can't complain either. But I do. Sometimes. I can't stand that I have to bust my butt to find a pool. Swimming has always been my passion and this is tough on me at times.



So, anyway, I ran hard. He came down the stairs after 15 minutes and "arguing" with my son whether or not I was home. He was horrified for me too. He knew. They left me alone to run and run and run.



I rallied after and decided to move on. Of course. It would be silly to dwell on all the reasons I was upset by my morning. That's the rational part of me talking. The emotional part of me continued to dwell.



We headed to Sunday River to ski and had a blast. I was so tired but you know, it was ok. It was warm and sunny and the kids skied so well. My 3 year old is headed for the Olympics one day I think. He is already so skilled it's amazing. I guess that's what happens to the youngest of three. They're just ready to go from watchign the others. His quote of the day, "Daddy, when I'm a grown up, I want to groom." :) He said this as we skated by the big snow cats. Pretty ambitious I'd say!



We got home at 4:00 and again, I did what all addicted-to-training triathletes do. I hopped on the bike. I was still feeling sorry for myself for missing a swim so I rode hard. My legs were pretty well shot after that 20 mile jaunt. Time to stop for the day.



Today was the glorious day that I started describing at the onset of this post. We have been busy with all sorts of activites. My kids had class at church, I fed the boys lunch, made a birthday card for a party with my 6 year old, Mark ran, I took Tommy to the party, I ran a fantastic 8 miles in the sun, we folded laundry (yes, WE! I had HELP!), we wrote party invites for Nick and now we're goign to make dinner while my oldest is at soccer! Never a dull moment. But I have energy! I can see straight! I am realizing how very much I missed last week while in the sick sleep deprived fog. If I had been with it, I would have known that swim was cancelled. Unlike last week, this was my fault.

I won't let it happen again!



Here's to a good night's sleep everyone!